That Peculiar Officer
by The Cowgirl Bookworm
Summary: Well, the worst has come to pass. Titanic has sank, Father is dead and the company is in jeopardy of being taken over by the Reichsters. Not to mention that Will may be declared the cause of the sinking by the inquiry. I only pray our love will survive.
1. Annastasia 1

After seeing James Cameron's Titanic I couldn't help but wonder why the officers didn't get more attention. I understand that he wanted to get the story of Jack and Rose into the movie but a thought crossed my mind, _couldn't everyone find love_?

* * *

I had to restrain myself from shoving my nose up agains the car's window as it pulled up closer to the ocean liner. That would have been very unladylike and there is no doubt in my mind that Mother would have yanked my hair to get me back in my seat. I waited patiently as the car made it's way to the entry of the White Star Line building. A line of porters stood ready to recieve our luggage. The only thing remarkable about them was that they were all in blue. After he had turned off the engine the driver opened my door and one of the porters lightly gripped my hand to help me out.

"Here you are sir, room B53." My father ordered, flinging a couple of dollars at the porter. He frantically grabbed at them as they fluttered to the ground. I reached to help him when I felt the icy steel of my mother's gaze on me.

"Ladies do not notice servents." She hissed, "You would do well to remember that Annastasia." I immediatly felt my cheeks flush a bright red as I mumbled a fake apology. _You stupid woman, just because he wasn't born into wealth a privelage doesn't mean we can't help him. _The porter looked up from retrieving his money and flashed me a pitiful smile.

"Annastasia!" My mother called, bringing me to her heels as we both followed my father up a flight of stairs. I kept my head demurely bowed so the my hat brim obscured my face. It seemed strange to step out onto the walkways, or were they gangways since they were going to a ship? Suspended above cheering masses I watched with a bit of horror as third-class passengers were examined ruthlessly for lice and diseases. Even children were examined.

"Watch yer step here, miss." A masculine voice said, causing me to stumble as I crossed the inch wide gap between the walkway and the ship. Luckily a strong pair of arms grabbed on to mine and pulled me to my feet inside the ship.

"Oh, why thank you sir." I said by memorization. Mother had drilled me who knows how many times on how to respond when a man helps you. You must keep your eyesdowncast, flatter him, and then wait for him to tell you his name. "You are quite strong."

"It was nothing, miss. Welcome aboard _Titanic_." He responded, releasing my arms. He had bright eyes and dark hair. His voice carried a small Scottish lilt. Another presence intruded on our talk, Mother watching him intently as Father waited on the other side of her.

"Why thank you young man, it would have been a tragedy for my daughter to fall as she entered the ship." She said in her sickly sweet voice. The crew member wrung his hands but put on a friendly smile. "What is your name?"

"My name?"

"Of course your name, that way we might send you a small gift for doing what you did." She responded, glaring at me. Her eyes seemed to say _you stupid girl, couldn't even cross an inch wide gap could you?_

"First Officer Will Murdoch, m'am." He answered, suddenly becoming stiff and formal. Mother nodded then turned on her heel and flounced away. I was just working up the courage to ask Mr. Murdoch to join us for dinner when Mother's screeching voice echoed through the ship.

"Annastasia!"

"Thank you once more." I babbled, turnng the corner and walking faster than a real lady was permitted to be able to catch up with them. Our rooms were elaboratly furnished, dark wood with gilded accents. The decoration hardly mattered to me as I looked at the small bed that would be mine until we reached home, New York City.

"This vacation has been pleasent but it will be nice to return home." Father announced from his room, far from mine.

"Indeed, perhaps we can find Annastasia a suitor on this trip." Mother responded dutifully. It was clear they thought I could not hear them. As a good daughter I didn't listen to them but instead I busied myself with my trunk until a huge whistling went through the ship.

"Oh, Father. Might I go see the ship leave the harbor?" I begged, standing in the doorway of the room he and Mother were sharing.

"Of course." He replied automatically, not giving Mother time to argue. I hurtled up the stair to the boat deck, keeping my head stiff to support the massive hat I was wearing. The rail of the ship was lined with people cheering and crying, waving hankercheifs and hats. There was almost nowhere to stand. I was buffeted back and forth by the crowd. I did a very unladylike thing and elbowed my way up to the rail by the front of the boat. I held my breath, no one noticed I had shoved them aside. I waved down to the crowd, looking at the people around me. A young blond man stood on the railing and waved to nobody in paticular.

A great creak split the joyous cheering as the ship slowly moved away from the dock. The great _Titanic_, the unsinkable ship, headed out for her maiden voyage. Tugboats escorted us briefly before a shudder passed through the deck as the propellers began to turn. The ship began to build her speed slowly, sailing toward the open ocean. When I first head the thick snapping I thought it was the wind, but as I looked around the port I saw it was something far worse than the wind.

The _SS New York_ had broken her lines and was going to hit us.


	2. Annastasia 2

No one noticed, their heads were turned back to the harbor, still waving at their families. I jumped back from the railing, screaming. My hat was knocked askew and blew away as my long blond hair released itself and settled in the small of my back. The huge ship still moved dutifully towards us. I spun around, crying for help. I felt firm hands grasp my arms and was caught by a pair of bright blue eyes.

"Please miss, calm yourself." A familiar Scottish lilt pleaded. _What was his name again? Michael? Murrish? Murdoch!_

"Oh, Mr. Murdoch, look!" I shrieked, pointing to the black behemoth looming even closer to us.

"Blimey!" He responded, releasing my arms and turning for a large enclosed part of the bridge. The Captain, Smith, stood by the wheel. He was posing for a photograph, one hand resting on the wheel. Murdoch burst in, making fierce gestures in the direction of the _New York_. I stood shakily on the deck, wringing my hands as the double-funneled ship came closer. i could make ou the rivets on her side. Smith issued a few curt orders, evident through the clear glass in the windows, and the _Titanic_ slowly started to turn away. A solid _twhack_ echoed up, a tugboat had pushed against the side of the _New York_ moving her farther away.

"Hey, you're the one that saw that right?" The young man who had been standing on the railing asked, "Nice eyes." his friend, a dark haired young man came up and pulled him away, casting scared looks over his shoulder, looking behind me.

"Hello, miss." A deep voice rumbled, causing me to spin around. Captain Smith stood there, Murdoch behind him. Several disgruntled photographers glared from the Brige at me. "Mr. Murdoch tells me that you were the one that spotted the _New York_ had slipped her moorings, correct?"

"Yes, sir." I replied, running a hand up to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"Oh, um, here. I . . . picked this up off the deck." Murdoch mumbled, stepping up to hand me my hat. I held it in my hands as Smith continued to talk.

"Well you're to be commended then. I'll send a steward to bring your family to the dining saloon, what room are they in?" He asked.

"Oh, B53."

"Perfect, Mr. Murdoch please escort miss . . . " Smith trailed off.

"Dalian." I responded.

"Please escort Miss Dalian to the dining saloon. I'll be there momentarily." Smith said, turning his back on us and moving back to the Bridge. The photographers seemed releaved as he walked back in. Murdoch stood there awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Well, we had better be off." I announced lightly, causing him to spring to my side and offer his arm. I smiled, placing my hand on the crook of his elbow. We walked in silence for several minutes.

"Forgive me, Miss Dalian. It is extremely unusual for passengers and officers to mix." Murdoch sighed, causing me to feel a small amount of pity for him.

"Well, these are highly unusual circumstances. I mean it's not every day the unsinkable ship almost sinks." I quipped, looking back at Murdoch. A small smirk crossed his face, evidence of the fact that against all odds he _did _have a personality. We continued down the promenade, talking and joking. Well, I joked and talked, he smiled, nodded and inserted witty comments of his own.

"Well, you know that even if the _New York_ had hit us we probably wouldn't of sunk." He retorted.

"How is that?" I queried. I could tell we hit on a subject he liked, his eyes lit up and he slowed our walking so he could explain it thoroughly.

"Well, you see, Mr. Thomas Andrews - he's the Master Ship Builder, you know - designed _Titanic_ with these waterproof bulkheads - they're big walls - so that even if four compartments were flooded she would still float. That way we could get her back into port and keep the passengers alive." His voice was enthusiastic about the ship, his eyes alight and holding mine. H_e's so . . . so handsome when he talks about what he likes. I hope he keeps acting like this, I like him like this, not when he's all stiff and formal. NO! Snap out of it, he's merely being kind because you saved the ship. There's no other reason . . . right?_

"I see Murdoch's enlightening you on our vessel, eh?" I heard Smith chuckle, while I had been lost in my thoughts Murdoch had kept steering us toward the dining saloon. My parents were seated to his left, open chairs for Murdoch and I to his right. Smith himself pulled out the chair while Murdoch expertly lowered me into it. Father waited until they had seated themselves before piping up.

"So, what did we do to deserve this honor?" He asked, Smith gave a kind smile and proceeded to relate my adventure with comments interjected by Murdoch and I. Afterwards Father beamed with pride while Mother gave me a long withering glance.

"Well it appears you're quite the luck charm!" My father smiled happily at this. He had never liked having me be all formal, he regularly encougaged me to do things that a well born Lady wouldn't dream of. Quite a challenge when he was married to my mother. Anything that wasn't formal and uptight she declared disgusting.

"Half the honor, at least, must go to Mr. Murdoch." I sighed, hoping to take some of the credit off me. It was already weighing heavy on my shoulders and I knew that if I didn't try and refuse it Mother would give me a talking to.

"Nonsense, if you hadn't told me I wouldn't have been able to alert Captain Smith." He responded, turning his head to the right so I could speak to him.

"Yes, you deserve some of it!"

"No, you were the one that warned us."

"I don't care who takes the credit, I'm just thankful for you both." Smith chuckled, causing me to blush a bright red. Lunch passed uneventful, except for me trying to give some of the credit for the rescue to Murdoch and him shoving it right back at me. We wound up glaring at each other throughout the meal. The Captain found this highly entertaining and chortled through out the whole meal. After we had finished, a steward approached and whispered to Smith.

"Oh, yes. I'll be there in a moment." He nodded, sending the steward away. "I must be off, my apologies apologied. We are approaching Cherbourg and I must be at the helm. Mr. Murdoch here will show you to your rooms." Muroch leapt to his feet as Smith walked away. After I had tapped my lips with a napkin and placed the selfsame napkin on my plate I rose and resumed my former stance with Mr. Murdoch, my hand in the crook of his elbow. Mother cast a disparing look at me before assuming the same posistion with Father. Murdoch lead us through the labyrinth of white halls faithfully, stopping before rooms B51, B53, and B55.

"Here you are, Miss Dalian." He said, turning to me. He lifted my hand to his lips and briefly kissed it. "I hope to see you again on this voyage."

"As do I Mr. Murdoch, perhaps you may attend dinner tonight with us?" I asked, smiling down at him.

"Perhaps, if I am not on watch at the helm."

"Then I certainly hope someone else has the watch." I quipped, causing him to smile. With a last bow to my parents he walked away, turned a corner, and was gone. I sighed as I entered my room, fully enjoying the amount of time I had spent with Murdoch.

"We need to talk." An icy voice hissed, Mother stood in the doorway. Her brown mousy hair had been drawn up in a sever bun, a frown marring her features.

"Yes Mother, about what?" I asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"That officer, oh you though I probably didn't notice you two looking at each other the whole time, but I did. He's an entrely unsuitable match."

"But Mother-"

"Silence! He is of the working class and our society does not mix with _them_. Plus he has no money, no title, I absolutly forbid it." She finished her tirade, leaving me stricken on my bed. _How could she not approve of Murdoch? He's kind, handsome, he can be obstently stubborn sometimes but he seems like a rather nice man. She's right though, everything that I have been taught to look for in a man he does not posess._

* * *

"That surely can not be all that's required in a suitor." I whispered to myself, sitting up on a deck chair. It had been several hours after my dicussion with Mother, not really a discussion though. It was more like a one-sided screaming match. During dinner I had been the perfect daughter, speaking only when spoken to and obeying every command I was given.

"Do-do you mind if I sit here for a little while?" A female voice stuttered, causing me to look up. A fair skinned woman stoof there, her hair bright red. I nodded and she collapsed onto the deck chair by me. The _Titanic _had left Cherbourg awhile ago and we were headed for Queenstown.

"Are you all right?" I asked, laying a soothing hand on her arm. She trembled slightly, I could feel it even through the red dress she wore.

"Oh yes, I-I'm fine." She responded, looking over at me. Her eyes held a huge amount of fear, the fear that comes from feeling all alone. I know because I had felt it several times, in fact a small amount of it was coming over me right now. I reached out to try and sooth her once more but she pulled away and ran off. The fear began to overwhelm me once she was gone and I sobbed slightly. _Mother's controlling me, every suitor I've ever had she's chased away. I can't see Murodch again. And he was so kind, helping me onto the ship._ A tear leaked out and more were soon to come. I felt a soothing hand laid on my back, warm even through the cold leater glove that encased it.

"Why Miss Dalian, whatever is the matter?"

Murdoch stood there, concern evident on his face. A face my mother didn't want me to see. I could only sob as he tried to comfort me. He sat down next to me, shedding his coat and placing it around me. It smelled of wool, the sea, and cold Atlantic air. The scent calmed me slightly.

"Please Miss Dalian, please tell me what has disturbed you." He requested, sliding an arm around me. He drew me closer, before placing my head on his chest. I sobbed silently while he held me there. I wrapped my hands in the soft material of his shirt as I bawled. _Must I keep away from him? Perhaps if I convinced Mother we were only friends? Oh, he is so kind. _One of his hands began to methodically pat my back, running up and down evident even through my dress. Finally the tears stopped, and I released Murdoch's shirt from my clenched hands.

"Better now?" He asked, keeping an arm around me as I moved back to a sitting position.

"Yes, I-I am so sorry that you had to find me like this." I whispered, drawing a finger across my eyes. Murdoch pulled out a handkerchief from a pocket in his coat that was still around me. He dabbed at my eyes, smiling a kind smile at me. A cry of distress broke through the night, a raw-throated scream of terror. Murdoch surged to his feet, bringing me with him.

"Hurry!" He said, clasping my hand in his and pulling me after him. Using my other hand I picked up my skirt so I could run better. He rushed down a flight of stairs and back up to the stern level. A small group of people stood there, severalsailors, the young blond man who I had spoken to earlier, the red haired woman that had sat by me, a dark haired man holding her and a man in a blak jacket and white tie.

"What made you think you could put your hands on my fiancee? Look at me, you filth! What did you think you were doing?" The dark haired man yelled, grabbing the blond man by his shirt and looking mad enough to kill. I shrank back slightly in fear but squeezed Murdoch's hand tighter.

"Cal, stop! It was an accident." The red haired girl said, laying a soothing hand on his arm, like I had only moments before.

"An accident?"

"It was . . . stupid really. I was leaning over and I slipped." She replied, "I was leaning way over, to see the . . . ah . . ." She snapped her fingers trying to find the word. "Propellers. And I slipped and I would have gone overboard . . . and Mr. Dawson here saved me and he almost went over himself." Dubious looks were cast but Mr. Dawson, the young blond man, nodded in agreement with her story.

"You wanted to see the propellers?" Cal asked incredulously. There were nods from both the girl and Mr. Dawson. I looked over at Murdoch, he wasn't buying it. _The way she had looked before, she wasn't leaning over to see the propellers._

"Women and machinery do not mix." The large man in formal wear said, his voice causing me to recognize him as Colonel Archibald Gracie.

"Everything is under control here I take it?" Murdoch spoke up. The men nodded while I glared at the red haired girl, she avoided my eyes. "Miss Dalian, would you like me to escort you to your room?"

"Oh, no. It's . . . uh, it's fine. I can find them on my own, just off the Grand Staircase right?" I panicked, forgetting the scene in front of me. _Can't be seen by Mother, can't! _I turned around and raced from the Boat Deck down to A Deck before I realized I was still wearing Mr. Murdoch's coat. I went back up, handed it to him shamefacedly and retraced my steps. I stopped outside our rooms, composing myself before I entered. Mother looked up from where she sat.

"Annastasia, did you enjoy the fresh air?"

"Yes, yes I did."


	3. Murdoch 1

**I decided that a story needed about the Officers needed to have a POV of an Officer in it! Every two chapters of Annastasia's POV will be followed by one of Murdoch's.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Murdoch, Smith, Rose, Jack or any of them. If I did, Murdoch wouldn't have killed himself in the movie. He would have worked valiently until the end like the _real _Murdoch did.**

* * *

When Smith had first brought Wilde onboard, I had hated him. Being demoted from Chief Officer to First had stung me raw. Then he had given me another blow when I would not even be able to stand in the Bridge for the first part of _Titanic_'s maiden voyage. I had to help passengers aboard the ship. That's a job for a steward, not a highly qualified officer like myself! But, Smith _is _the Captain and I _have _to obey him. Bloody, Wilde.

Perhaps I should introduce myself first off. William McMaster Murdoch, First Officer of the R.M.S _Titanic_. I've served with the White Star Line for most of my life, working on many of their ships. I've been on the _Medic_, _Runic_, _Arabic_, _Celtic_, _Germanic_, _Oceanic_, _Cedric_, _Adriatic_, and I was on the _Olympic_. White Star Line has a tradition of each of their ships having the '-ic' ending. Cunard, their rivals, ends their names with '-ia'. _Titanic _would be and is now the greatest of the White Star Line fleet. Heralded as practically unsinkable, due to a double hull and watertight bulkheads, she has the newest of everything, technology and safety features. The papers though have called her just 'unsinkable', a bad omen if you're incredibly superstitious.

"Welcome aboard _Titanic_." I repeated numerous times, bowing my head every time to the passengers as they boarded. A rather haughty older woman walked by with a portly gentleman on her arm. A younger woman, their daughter I suspect, walked behind them. She was turning her head everywhere and trying to take it all in. Her periwinkle dress swirled around her as she stepped even closer. She set her foot down, but wasn't aware of the gap and gave a little cry as she fell. I reached out, breaking all protocol, and grabbed her arms.

"Watch your step here, miss." I cautioned, helping her back to her feet. She seemed a little shaken but smiled when she saw me.

"Oh, why thank you sir." She said kindly, looking away. It was as if she was unwilling to meet my eyes. "You are quite strong."

"It was nothing, miss. Welcome aboard _Titanic_." I replied, letting go of her arms. I looked over as another woman entered our conversation. It was the haughty woman from earlier. She glared at me but didn't give her daughter; at least I assume she was her daughter, a second glance. The girl hunched her shoulders and bit her lower lip.

"Why thank you young man, it would have been a tragedy for my daughter to fall as she entered the ship." Her voice carried the condescending tone that many first-class passengers had. I amused myself by rubbing my hands together to get them warm. "What is your name?"

"My name?"

"Of course your name, that way we might send you a small gift for doing what you did." Her voice was as sickly sweet as honey but when she turned to look at their daughter, the true anger came out.

"First Officer Will Murdoch, m'am." I recited it by memorization, something that every officer and crewman on a White Star Line Ship had to do was learn to recite his full rank and name. The woman nodded and walked away. The daughter stood there, still smiling at me, her dark brown eyes giving away the fact that she was trying to summon the will to do something. Just as she had opened her mouth, the shrill voice of her mother echoed from a hallway.

"Annastasia!"

"Thank you once more." She said, giving me a sad smile before hurrying down the hallway where her mother had gone. I stood there a little while longer, until the whistle announcing the departure blew. Most of the passengers were standing at the rail of the boat deck, waving goodbye to their family, friends, and home. I felt the swell of pride and loneliness that always accompanied going to sea. To leave the land for the fierce expanse of ocean, 'tis a fine thing indeed.

"Not getting homesick are you, Murdoch?" A joking voice asked. Sixth Officer Moody had come up behind me, his usual cocky grin in place. One of the youngest officers onboard, he wasn't allowed to be in the Bridge when the ship was taken out. That was only for the Captain and the Chief Officer.

"No, not in the least Mr. Moody. Merely ready to go to sea again." I commented, watching as the _Titanic _slowly began to move away from the dock. Not only was she the newest and safest ship, she was also going to be the fastest. It was hoped on her maiden voyage that she would break the Trans-Atlantic speed record.

"Never have liked land much have you?"

"Not as much as I enjoy the ocean."

"Are ya gettin' soft on me, Murdoch?" He chuckled, elbowing me in the ribs.

"Shove off." I responded, jostling him back. He was the only one I could act like this with, he reminded me of my three younger siblings. The Murdoch house had always been one full of children, something that I desired. Unfortunately, no woman had ever presented herself as perfect to me. There was close call with a passenger from New Zealand, but quickly showed her true colors and was found under one of the other officers one night.

"'Ello! Murodch, get out of your own little world!" Moody cautioned, knocking his hand against my peaked hat. I grabbed it to keep it from falling in the harbor as we began to pull away. _Titanic_ was escorted with as much pomp and circumstance as could be given, bands playing and well dressed socialites watching from their yachts in the harbor. Moody walked up and down the line of waving passengers, making sure they didn't fall over. I went to the other, less crowded side of the ship, where I was promptly attacked by a flurry of perriwinkle fabric and a shrieking woman.

"Please, Miss. Calm yourself." I asked, pulling her arms away from me so I could properly look at her. Ah, it was her. Annastasia, except she seemed flustered. Her hat had been knocked off and her hair was being whipped in the wind. It was very nice hair I managed to notice, long and a deep golden color. Her deep brown eyes registered a brief confusion before she screamed again.

"Oh, Mr. Murdoch, look!" She whirled in my hands, pointing across the harbor. A ship, the _SS New York_, had broken her moorings and was headed right for us. The only explanation that came to my mind was that the sheer size and water displacement of _Titanic _had caused her moorings, thick steel housings attached to large pylons on the dock, to snap like string. The same suction was now drawing her towards us like a slow harbinger of death.

"Blimey!" I cursed, letting her go and running for the Wheelhouse. Smith, a large man with a white beard, stood with his hand on the wheel. He was posing for a photographer who jumped when I slammed into the room. "Captain!"

"This had better be good, Mr. Murdoch." He growled, glowering at me from his place. I pointed behind me, through the windows. The hull of the _New York_ had gotten even closer. Annastasia was clinging to the railing, watching in shock as the other ship grew closer.

"Port engines back full." Smith ordered tersely, sending me springing to move to engine order telegraph to the appropriate position. _Titanic_'s massive bulk began to move slowly away, buying us time. The _New York_ also began to move, away from us. More than likely a tugboat had come alongside and was pulling her away.

"This will set us back a bit." The Captain said once we had completed our turn.

"Well, better late than dead." I commented, looking out the window at Annastasia. She had released her death grip on the rail but it seemed to have taken a toll on her.

"Is she the one that spotted the other ship?"

"Aye, sir."

"Do you believe we should give her a reward?"

"Aye, sir." I answered all of Smith's questions dutifully. He gave me a rather rakish look before exiting the Wheelhouse. Something touched my leg as I followed him. A large hat, with white fabric roses around the crown and a white ribbon, was resting on the deck. I picked it up and followed Smith as he approached Annastasia. A pair of men that had been talking to her jerked backward and began to move away.

"Hello, miss." Smith startled her as she turned around. He tried to cancel out the shock with a kind smile, which I copied. "Mr. Murdoch tells me that you were the one that spotted the _New York_ had slipped her moorings, correct?"

"Yes, sir." She spoke rather timidly, running her hands through her hair. I stepped forward, holding out the hat.

"Oh, um, here. I . . . picked this up off the deck." I stuttered, handing it back to her. _Well done Will, look like a fool. That's exactly what you should do when in front of a beautiful woman. Stutter like a country simpleton_. She smiled widely and held it in her hands. Smith looked sideways at me as I shuffled to stand behind him.

"Well you're to be commended then. I'll send a steward to bring your family to the dining saloon, what room are they in?" Smith pressed.

"Oh, B53." She answered, fixing her hat back on her head. Her hair still hung to her back and whipped like a pennant in the wind though.

"Perfect, Mr. Murdoch please escort miss . . ."

"Dalian." She supplied, sneaking a glance at me.

"Please escort Miss Dalian to the dining saloon. I'll be there momentarily." Smith ordered, turning back the Bridge and the photographers. I waited awkwardly as she seemed to examine me, her eyes lingering on mine for a brief moment.

"Well, we had better be off." Her voice was light and free, but with a power behind it. I offered my arm and she seemed to hesitate before sliding her hand, ever so gently, onto mine. I slowed my usual step as she walked with me along the Promenade. _Come on Will, say something. Anything, compliment her. Damn it; don't stand here like a mute. TALK DAMN YOU!_

"Forgive me, Miss Dalian. It is extremely unusual for passengers and officers to mix." I breathed, hoping she wouldn't consider me too strange. I was relieved as she laughed slightly before returning with a witty comment.

"Well, these are highly unusual circumstances. I mean it's not every day the unsinkable ship almost sinks." Her voice had a joking tone to it, causing me to smile. The time seemed to last forever and yet went by all too fast. We were descending the Grand Staircase, her fingers lingering on the wooden banister.

"Well, you know that even if the _New York_ had hit us we probably wouldn't have sunk." I told her, we had gotten back onto the subject of _Titanic_. She seemed fascinated by the ship and was trying to get as much information out of me as she could.

"How is that?"

"Well, you see, Mr. Thomas Andrews - he's the Master Ship Builder, you know - designed _Titanic_ with these waterproof bulkheads - they're big walls - so that even if four compartments were flooded she would still float. That way we could get her back into port and keep the passengers alive." I explained, defining the nautical terms for her. She didn't look like the type of girl who would know these terms by heart. I slowed down so I would have significant time to explain everything. She gazed at me with a sense of curiosity. She continually looked at me and jumped slightly when Smith spoke.

"I see Murdoch's enlightening you on our vessel, eh?" Smith chuckled, causing Miss Dalian to flush a bright red. The table, which was situated next to a large window and covered by an expensive tablecloth, was set for five with Miss Dalian's parents on one side and room for the two of us on the other. Smith sat at the head as an almost father of the ship. I lowered Ms. Dalian down to her chair. Stewards bustled through with steaming plates held in their hands.

"So, what did we do to deserve this honor?" Her father asked, looking at Smith. Smith proceeded to relate the tale, when he was dry for certain facts Ms. Dalian or I supplied them. Her father was grinning like a fox while her mother kept her mouth in a tight line.

"Well it appears you're quite the lucky charm!" He proclaimed, looking like he would love to slap her on the back.

"Half the honor, at least, must go to Mr. Murdoch." She stated, readjusting the silverware on her plate.

"Nonsense, if you hadn't told me I wouldn't have been able to alert Captain Smith." I responded, lightly sipping the glass of wine that had been set in front of me.

"Yes, you deserve some of it!"

"No, you were the one that warned us."

"I don't care who takes the credit, I'm just thankful for you both." Smith interrupted, causing Ms. Dalian to glare at me. Ms. Dalian was a very dainty girl, tall with a very small waist, but the glare that she gave me could have come from a battle hardened general. Since her head was turned to look at me, Smith gave me a wide grin and a very large wink. _Oh, God. He can't think that, can he?_ My thoughts were interrupted as stewards placed food in front of us. As per _Titanic_ everything was delicious, the best of the best. Ms. Dalian kept giving me her general glare so I responded with one of my own. Smith gave a chuckle which quickly turned into a cough as a steward approached.

"Oh, yes. I'll be there in a moment." He said, sending the steward running away. "I must be off, my apologies. We are approaching Cherbourg and I must be at the helm. Mr. Murdoch here will show you to your rooms." I leapt to my feet as was customary, bowing my head as he left. Ms. Dalian tapped her lips and set her napkin on her plate before rejoining me. She held onto my arm delicately. Luckily the way to their rooms was not complicated and we were swiftly there.

"Here you are, Ms. Dalian." I said, dipping down to kiss the back of her silk gloved hand. _Say it, now's the perfect time._ "I hope to see you again on this voyage."

"As do I Mr. Murdoch, perhaps you may attend dinner tonight with us?" She smiled. _Yes! She likes you!_

"Perhaps, if I am not on watch at the helm."

"Then I certainly hope someone else has the watch." She laughed at her own witty comment. I gave a slight bow to her parents before turning away. I knew this ship like the back of my hand, and was at the Bridge in an instant. I stood watching as Smith skillfully guided the ship into the harbor, letting us rest off of the dock. Passengers would be brought out by smaller ferry boats, supplies transported the same way.

"There appears to be something between the two of you Mr. Murdoch." Smith said, once the _Titanic_'s anchors had plunged into the harbor. The sun was already down and I was anxious to go and dine. "I am afraid I must prohibit it though."

"Captain?" I was stunned, had he not fooled around at lunch? Or was that merely to let me know that he knew that I liked her?

"Regulations, plus her family is one of the wealthiest in America. Her mother stopped me earlier and forbade me from letting you see her." Smith truly seemed sorry, even going as far as to give me a small pat on the back. "It just wasn't meant."

"I-I understand, sir."

"Why don't you take a turn around the deck, get some fresh air in you?" Smith suggested, opening the door.

"Aye, sir. Some fresh air might be just what I need." I left, wandering the deck. _Stupid mother, stupid regulations. Blast them all to Hell! Is it such a tragedy that I _like _her? Haven't people been pushing that we need to marry for love and not for money?_ I looked out over the railing, out at the cold hard Atlantic. _Then again, what would she want in me? Women like to be rooted down; I float from place to place._ _Maybe I should just forgo women all together. Live as a bachelor of the sea. It would certainly be easier than this._ A small sob echoed through the night. A small female sob. I jogged down the deck, finding the slumped over form of a woman on a deck chair. Her green velvet dress was stained with tears; it took me a second to recognize the crying woman as Annasta- Ms. Dalian. I stood next to her and laid a soothing hand on her back. The sobbing gave a slight hiccup as she realized I was here.

"Why Miss Dalian, whatever is the matter?" I asked, popping the buttons through the button holes of my coat and taking it off. I laid it over her, noting that she didn't carry a shawl as many other passengers. She looked up at me but began to sob even harder. I sat next to her and put an arm around her waist. It was an extreme breach of protocol but she needed it. "Please Miss Dalian; please tell me what has disturbed you."

She only cried harder. I am not sure if it was her or I that placed her crying head on my chest but she was soon leaning on me, her tears soaking into the material of my shirt. I ran my hand down her back again, lightly brushing her hair while I was at it. I felt her hands as she kneaded my shirt. I cannot remember what I spoke, but it must have been calming because she slowly stopped sobbing and began to wipe her eyes.

"Better now?" I asked, keeping an arm around her. I was, well, scared that she might cry herself to death. I am not even sure if that is possible but she could have done it.

"Yes, I-I am so sorry that you had to find me like this." She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. I reached into the pocket of my coat, brushing her leg slightly as I retrieved a handkerchief. I dabbed it across her face, wiping away the tears from her face. She sniffed and smiled at me; perhaps I had broken all protocol for Officers but gained a small place with her. As a friend, a confidant, I didn't care. She had stopped crying and that was all I needed. I was nearly jolted out of my skin as a scream broke through the still Atlantic night.

"Hurry!" I told Ms. Dalian, grasping her hand. She was game enough to keep up with me as I pulled her back to the stern. The Master-at-Arms, Archibald Gracie, a woman I recognized as Rose DeWitt Bukater, a dark haired man, and a blond steerage passenger were grouped on the stern Promenade.

"What made you think you could put your hands on my fiancée? Look at me, you filth! What did you think you were doing?" The dark haired man screamed, reaching over to punch the steerage passenger. Ms. Dalian stepped backwards but squeezed my hand. I responded with a squeeze of my own.

"Cal, stop! It was an accident." Ms. DeWitt Bukater said, laying a hand on her fiancée's arm.

"An accident?"

"It was . . . stupid really. I was leaning over and I slipped. I was leaning way over, to see the . . . ah . . . propellers. And I slipped and I would have gone overboard . . . and Mr. Dawson here saved me and he almost went over himself." She explained, I snorted through my nose. I think it was fairly obvious what the young man was up to, but if she didn't want to press the events then it was her decision.

"You wanted to see the propellers?" Cal asked, a look complete stupidity on his face.

"Women and machinery do not mix." Gracie rumbled, gaining a disapproving look of me. I hated when people expected a woman to only cook, clean and look pretty. Guess I got it from my mother; she is a very strong woman.

"Everything is under control here I take it?" I asked, looking down at Ms. Dalian. I noticed with dismay that my coat was still on her. I gave the Master-at-Arms a look that would have frozen Hell over, no explanation needed for the reason. "Miss Dalian, would you like me to escort you to your room?"

"Oh, no. It's . . . uh, it's fine. I can find them on my own, just off the Grand Staircase right?" She stammered, backing away. I nodded and she turned and flew down the deck and inside. _You see, she doesn't like you._ She returned a few minutes later, giving me my coat and looking ashamed. I shrugged my coat back on, enjoying the lingering small of her floral perfume. Vanilla, with a hint of lavender I believe. I watched her as she moved slowly along the deck.

"Good night, Miss Dalian." I whispered, letting the wind carry it away into the starry Atlantic night.


	4. Annastasia 3

Morning came far too early, and even though I lay languidly underneath the sheets, dreaming deliciously about Mr. Murdoch. But, fantasies aside, I knew I needed to get up. I managed to get to my feet and pulled a dressing gown over my nightdress. I padded into the main room between the two, gratefully picking up a cup of tea a kind steward had set out. Mother sat in a chair, sipping her own tea.

"Mother, have we docked in Queenstown yet?" I asked, sitting across from her. She nodded, swallowing a sip of tea. "Would I be allowed to return to the Boat Deck to see the town?"

"After I dress you." She responded, rising from her chair. Going into my room she pulled out a pink number with a cream sash around the middle. I gasped as she pulled my corset even tighter, I could barely breathe. Once I had been ensconced in the dress she handed me a hat and let me out.

"I don't want you seeing the Officer again." She warned as I left the rooms.

"I understand, Mother." I answered dutifully, before turning around and going to the grand staircase. I went up three flights of stairs before I emerged on the Boat Deck. I could hear shouts of bargaining and merchants hawking their wares. A small market had been set up on the aft promenade, stalls filled with anything a heart could want.

"Perhaps you might want to see their wares?" I heard a voice ask, causing me to turn around. Murdoch stood there, looking down at me.

"Mr. Murdoch, I-I am afraid while I would certainly enjoy looking at their products I am restricted from doing so in your company." I whispered, casting my head down in shame.

"You had no trouble with that last night." He said, coming up to lean on the other side of me. With both of us on the railing any one could have walked by and made assumptions.

"It was not my choice to have to refuse your company."

"Your mother I take it?" He chuckled, looking over at me.

"Yes. She considers you far below me." I sighed, feeling tears come on again. Murdoch could see it for he suddenly spoke up.

"Come now, I'll book no crying when there's a market to go see. Surely you'd enjoy it down there, that is what women like, right? Shopping and all that?"

"Fine, if you insist." I relented, laughing at him. The mere fact of a man saying shopping was ridiculous.

"Which I indeed do." He replied, offering his arm. I accepted it gratefully, feeling the fabric of his coat underneath my hands. I couldn't help but think of our relationship. It was rather Romeo and Juilet like, but I was not sure if this was a mere fancy or a deep feeling. The market was loud and boisterous, items thrust into our faces and named for outrageous prices.

"Here ya' go, Officer. Pretty little handkerchief for your pretty little gal there." A gap toothed salesman said, dangling a white silk kerchief in front of Murdoch. Irish lace adorned the edges, clean despite the grime on the man's hands.

"How much?" Murdoch questioned, picking it up himself.

"Murdoch!" I gasped; he didn't need to buy it for me.

"Oh, three dollars."

"Three dollars for a scrap of silk with some bobbin lace on the sides? Perhaps you take me for a fool sir. Come now Miss Dalian; let us see if there isn't a better handkerchief in the market."

"No! No, here two dollars. Just for you." The man grabbed at what remained of his sale. Murdoch gave a knowing smile and presented the man with two dollar bills, handing the handkerchief to me.

"Perhaps I should give it to Mother as a peace offering." I joked once we had moved away from the stall. Murdoch laughed, a joyful sound amid the chaos of the market.

"Perhaps, would you join me for tea later?" He asked once he had stopped laughing.

"Mr. Murdoch aren't you ever on watch?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

"Late at night, come now. Surely some tea would be good?"

"We'd have to hide you know, if my mother saw us she'd lack me up in my room for the rest of the voyage and have you demoted to a coal shoveller."

"Fine, come to the Officer's Mess. She won't think to look for you there. Meet me there at noon." Murdoch said, picking up my hand and giving it a squeeze. I suddenly felt very warm as I ducked my head and murmured that I would meet him there. He smiled before turning around and jogging off to do . . . something I guess. I found myself browsing the market with a renewed interest. Repaying Murdoch for both last night and for the handkerchief seemed to be the most important thing at the moment.

"Now look here you cheapskate, this pocket watch is not worth twenty dollars!" An outraged feminine voice yelled. A large woman, with a larger hat, was arguing with the vendor over a small pocket watch. _That's the perfect thing! _I hurried up and began to pick through his collection. A medium sized gold one caught my, it was embellished with waves and a small sailboat. When you pressed a small catch on the side it popped open to display a watch with Roman Numerals for the hours.

"What about this one?" I asked, showing him the one I had selected.

"Fifteen." The man snorted, causing the other lady to shake with outrage. I pulled out a small purse that I had carried with me from my room and counted out his money. I watched as he haggled with the other woman until she got what she wanted for ten dollars.

"That was a nice bit of bargaining you did there." I commented her as she passed by me. She smiled, and held out her hand.

"Why thank you dear, Margaret Brown." She introduced herself.

"Annastasia Dalian." I replied gripping her hand.

"I think I saw you last night, sittin' on a deck chair right?" She had a delightful Western twang to her voice, walking alongside me as we made our way back up to the Boat Deck.

"Yes, I was out enjoying the air last night."

"Enjoying? I saw you crying your eyes out in that Officer's arms." She laughed, causing me to whip my head around to see if anyone had heard her. Luckily the part of the Boat Deck we were at was deserted.

"Please don't tell anyone. I . . . I wasn't supposed to see him last night." I pleaded, trying to make big doe eyes for myself.

"Oh you don't have to worry 'bout that. I won't talk." Ms. Brown said, patting my back. I sighed, clutching the pocket watch even tighter. "But you'll have to tell me about that young officer though."

"Why Miss Brown! I would never discuss such things." I gasped, bringing a hand up to my mouth.

"Don't give me that. Now, sit and tell me." She demanded, settling herself into a deck chair. I followed suit.

"Well, I first met him when he helped me onto the ship. Then, later, I alerted him that the _Titanic _was about to be hit by another ship. He walked me to lunch and we talked and later he walked me back to the rooms that I am sharing with my parents. My mother told me that I was not allowed to see him, which caused me to be out on deck. I had claimed a spell of the vapours. When he showed up I couldn't control myself . . . I was thinking about how my mother has always ruled my life, she's chased away any suitors I might have had and Father's health . . . he's been forgetful lately, sometimes I have to remind him that I'm his daughter, and I just found myself crying. Life has just been difficult for me lately. But he comforted me. I just, can't seem to get him out of my mind. He's the exact opposite of everything that my mother taught me to desire in a husband. I'm not sure if it is him that I like or the thought of rebelling against my mother or even the chance to do something besides sit like a little china doll but I . . . I just don't know what to do." I put it all out there for her, sparing nothing from her gaze.

"I think it's fairly obvious. You like the boy because he's not what you're used to. He was there for you in a moment of need and you admire him for that." She said astutely. I sighed and began to play with the watch. It read 11:50, causing me to start.

"Oh, Miss Brown I must apologize but I have to go!" I cry, turning to run down the deck. I head for the Bridge, for surely the Officer's Mess must be towards the Bridge. Right? I spot a man in a blue greatcoat that looks like an officer.

"Excuse me, sir. Do you know where the Officer's Mess is?" I beg, looking up at him. He gives me a strange look before pointing to a regular looking door. I opened it hastily, finding a large wooden table set with tea for two. Murdoch sat on one side, smiling when he saw me.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd come." He said, rising to escort me to my seat. I sat down gratefully, pulling out the pocket watch. Murdoch sat across from me and began to pour a cup of steaming tea. He had removed the dark blue peaked hat he always wore, allowing his brown locks to wander freely.

"I am afraid I must apologize, I've been very forward lately." He spoke regretfully, never casting his eyes up at me.

"Oh, Mr. Murdoch you don't need to do that. I've been rather out of sorts lately as well. I just cannot shake the feeling that something momentous will happen on this voyage." I replied, fingering the chain of the pocket watch.

"Momentous . . . everything about _Titanic _is momentous." Murdoch said with a dry humor, passing my tea to me. I used a tea spoon to lift two spoonfuls of sugar from the sugar pot and stir my tea.

"Oh, I bought this for you." I lifted the pocket watch so that it rested just above the table. He seemed shocked at this.

"For me? But, why?" He asked, receiving it gently from me.

"I believe it is quite obvious that my Mother has no intention of sending the gift she said she would. I took it upon myself to buy a gift for you." I explained, sipping my tea. he spent several moments examining it. He gently traced the inside of the cover, cocking his head.

"A photograph would fit rather nicely in here." He pondered, "Would you be willing to take one with me? There is a photographer here on the ship."

"Why, Mr. Murdoch! I . . ." I paused. _Don't live in fear that your mother will find out. Forget your worries for a moment, have a little adventure now and then, and for God's sake grow a backbone!_ "I would love to."

"Oh, splendid. Shall I escort you?" He asked, setting down his tea cup and rising. I nodded, and took his arm. He again demonstrated his invaluable knowledge of the ship's design, having us to a large, well-furnished room in under five minutes. The main feature of the room was a camera facing a chair. A white haired old man bustled around, finally noticing Murdoch and I.

"Let me guess, you want a picture?" He drawled, already moving towards his camera.

"If you would be willing." Murdoch said, setting me down in the chair.

"It's gonna cost ya."

"I can pay." Murdoch said stoutly. He took up a stance by my side, his peaked cap held in his hand. I shifted around in the chair, stopping when I felt his hand resting lightly on my shoulder. The mere touch of his hand caused a small shock to travel through my body. We held incredibly still as he hid himself under the camera cover. A bright flash occured, which had me seeing dots for a few minutes. He removed something from the camera and hurried it into another room.

"Be ready tomorrow." He grunted when he came back out. Murdoch smiled, dropping a few bills on the top of the camera.

"Thank you." I said, squeezing his hand as we left the photographer's. "I have to go though."

"What for?"

"Tea, if I miss it Mother will lock me up for the rest of the trip." I sighed, but felt Murdoch's fingers underneath my chin.

"Well, we can't have that. I hope that I might see you later?"

"Perhaps, if you are not on watch." I quipped, remembering our discussion from earlier. Murdoch was still laughing as he rounded a corner and was gone.


	5. Annastasia 4

**Alright, I did some research and it turns out that _Titanic_ never had a dark room but the gret thing about _fiction _is that you can tweak the story a little. Don't you just love that?**

* * *

The hallways of _Titanic_ had become less and less complex after a day aboard. The dining saloon had been rearranged for afternoon tea, although it would be my second tea of the day. My mother was standing with another severe looking woman. A young woman stood with her head bowed.

"Ah, here you are. Annastasia, I wish to introduce you to Mrs. Ruth DeWitt Bukater and her daughter Rose." My mother announced, gesturing to the two people. The young woman lifted her head, a slight smile on her lips. _The girl! It's the girl from last night!_ It would have been difficult to mistake her red hair.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Misses DeWitt Bukater." I said, nodding my head. They received me with a cold inclination of their heads, almost as if they were twins. Mother sat us at a table near a window, giving us a wonderful view of the deck.

"Hey there gals!" A happy voice twanged, Margaret Brown lowering herself into a vacant chair near us. I smiled at my new friend, stirring the tea that had been set in front of me. Mother, along with Ruth, gave her a hard look before returning to their own tea.

"Your daughter is on her way back to husband?" Ruth asked, setting her teacup back down.

"No, she is not married." My mother hissed, glaring at me. _It's not my fault you chased away any young man that knocked on our door, you hag._

"My, she is rather old to still be single."

"Twenty-one, we were hoping to meet a suitor on this voyage but they all seemed to have remained in their homes." Mother sniffed, casting a glance at Rose. So the conversation continued, discussing my faults as if I were not here. Rose finished her tea and looked over at her mother.

"Mother, might I take Ms. Dalian for turn around the deck?" She asked, nodding politely when her mother replied affirmatively. We left together, leaving Mrs. Brown alone with those two old harpies. We stopped at the railing, looking out over the ocean.

"I saw you last night. I know that you weren't leaning over to see the propellers." I sighed, looking at her.

"You're right, it-it just seems like there was no way out. Please, don't tell anyone." She begged, "Or I might just have to tell your mother about the _officer_ that accompanied you last night." Her attitude had changed in an instant, turning from blubbering girl to hateful harpy.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, but I would." She hissed, turning on me with a vengeance. "So you had better not say anything!" I kept my mouth in a thin line, unwilling to gift her with even a single word. She whirled and stalked off, more than likely to whet her thirst with the blood of some innocent child.

"Rather unkind, isn't she?" A Scottish brogue asked, evidence that once again Mr. Murdoch had found me.

"Is it your purpose in life to track me?" I asked, turning around to look at him.

"Perhaps, but if you stayed with me than you would require no tracking."

"Ah, he has wit as well as charm." I complimented, feeling myself blush at his comment. He smiled at this, offering his arm. "Are you sure we should be doing this? People might see us."

"Oh, I-I apologize. I will just leave you." He frowned, and gaining all the look of a cowering puppy began to move away.

"Mr. Murdoch." I called, trying to get him to come back. He kept moving down the smooth deck.

"Murdoch!" No response.

"Will!" I cried, setting my hand on his shoulder. He turned, a mischievous grin on his face. "Why you little devil!"

"It got you to walk with me, didn't it Annastasia?" He asked, and to my shock he was correct. What shocked me more was the fact we had called each other by our first names. Murdoch skillfully guided us away from the first class dining saloon and farther down the ship.

"The weather is beautiful." I said, enjoying the fresh breeze that blew my hair. Murdoch replied in the affirmative, before drawing us to a pair of deck chairs.

"Ms. Dalian I would feel terrible if this continued and I did not ask your opinion on our relationship. I do not want to press it if you do not desire to be with me." He said, picking up my hand. He ran his thumb across the back of it calmingly, reminding me only of how different we were. I have never lifted a finger to do a form of manual labor and his hands, while soft from his gloves, had calluses lining them.

"I understand, it-it is odd for me to have these feelings. I _do_ have feelings for you Mr. Murdoch." I replied, solely focused on his hand.

"You are too kind." He answered, moving his hand up to cup my cheek. The delightful shock traveled through me, causing me to lean into his hand.

"Are you sure you want me though?" I sighed, enjoying the feel of his hand.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"My parents, the fact that I'm not the most attractive person on the ship, not by far, there are many reasons."

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, and I would gladly suffer through your family's hatred just to be next to you." Murdoch seemed aghast at the possibility, resuming his position from last night, one arm around my waist, keeping me close to him. It seemed only natural, what happened next. We leaned closer, our faces only an inch apart. My eyes closed, and the sudden feel of his lips on mine sent sparks flying behind them. I moved myself closer to him, letting his one arm wrap around me. His lips left mine, both of us breathing heavier than we had been before.

"Forgive me; I do not know what came over me." He whispered, one hand coming up to touch my cheek.

"No, I won't forgive you for that. It was . . . wonderful." I sighed, bringing my own hand up to feel his cheek. It was slightly rough with stubble, each a little pinprick on my hand. The moment we sat there alone, separate from the world, seemed to pass in an instant. Murdoch grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the chair and away from the main Promenade. A moment later Captain Smith walked by, swinging his head as if he were looking for someone.

"I have to go." Murdoch said, bringing my hand up to his lips.

"Why?"

"Your mother isn't the only one that disapproves of our relationship." He whispered, turning to go back out on the main Promenade. I could only stifle a laugh as he promptly appeared at Smith's side, causing the captain to start. I stepped out of our hiding place, revealing myself to him.

"Why if it isn't our little heroine, how have you been?" Smith asked, sweeping his hat off in a low bow. Murdoch was staring at me with something between fury and amazement.

"Very well, Captain. In fact, I was just taking a turn around the deck." I replied, batting my eyelashes at him.

"Oh, well, uh, I would love for you to join us but I am afraid that I must be off to the Bridge." Smith seemed flustered under my gaze. Murdoch raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. I gave a sad nod.

"I understand, I may just spend the rest of my day in the Turkish Baths." I pondered, "Good day to you Captain Smith, _Mr. Murdoch_." I gave Will's name a distinct feel to it, causing him to smile widely at me. They walked on, leaving me alone on the Promenade. I was leaning on the railing and staring out to sea when a young man approached me.

"Hey, I-uh-I saw you talking to Rose earlier." He said, causing me to start. It was the young man from last night, Mr. Dawson.

"Well, I indeed was Mr. Dawson." I replied.

"Do you think that you could get me in with her group? I mean, teach me how to act first class and everything?"

"Why would you want to learn that, if I may ask?"

"I got invited to dinner with them tonight. I don't know where I'm going to get clothes but I need to know how to act around them." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"Well first of all, a gentleman does not work on balding himself." I commented, causing him to stop. He stood back, letting me circle him.

"Back straight, head slightly up, unclasp your hands. You are not a corpse experiencing _rigor mortis_. Now, walk." I commanded, causing him to waddle across the deck as if he were a penguin.

"Wrong, all wrong. You let yourself move smoothly, not caring who is in front of you. Like this." I showed him how, walking languidly across the deck. He copied it and I followed him.

"Shorter stride, shoulders square!" I drilled him on walking for another ten minutes. He sat down in the deck chair the Mr. Murdoch had so recently vacated.

"Now, as to dinner conversation, it takes most people years to learn how to properly speak and not embarrass one's self." I cautioned. Mr. Dawson seemed to take this tolerably well. "For starters, ask to the affairs of others before explaining your own. When somebody asks what you do reply honestly but tastefully. What I would recommend majorly to you is to keep your head down and be silent. When people ask you something direct, answer them without delay."

"Okay, I think I've got this." He said, rising to shake my hand. I looked at it with disdain.

"Never shake a lady's hand. Press your lips to the back of it and proclaim her the brightest beauty in the room." I ordered. He obeyed, pressing his lips to the back of my hand.

"Thank you for your instruction; you are the most beautiful woman on deck." He said, walking away from me. The young man had a certain, charisma, about him that would have been repressed if he had grown up as a gentleman. I found the Turkish Baths quite to my liking, and apparently to Mrs. Brown's as well.

"Hello there Anna dear! Ain't this about as hot as an Arizona summer?" She boomed from the hot room, steam rising off of her perspiring skin.

"Indeed, why when my family crossed the country to look over our assets in California one time we stopped in a city, Phoenix I believe, and I just about fainted from the heat. It takes a special breed of man to live out there." I replied, wiping my own sweat from my brow.

"Ah, anyone with a taste for gold will ignore the weather back there."

"Yes, are you on your way back to your husband?"

"Oh, yes. Mr. Brown's been lonely with me being in France and we decided it would be best for me to come back. Besides, those Frenchies are such snobs." She laughed, convincing me to join with her. "Hey, you havin' any more luck with your Officer?"

"Mrs. Brown!" I cried, raising my hands to cover my now blushing cheeks.

"Heh, I understand sweetie. I'll let you alone." She chuckled, wagging an accusing finger at me. "Just tryin' to make sure that you're not gettin' in over your head here."


	6. Murdoch 2

**Yay! Another Murdoch chapter Thanks to Cullen-girl-4-life who has been one of my most vocal supporters! Ugh, page breaks off.**

_Titanic _docked in Queenstown early in the morning of the 11th of April, 1912. She had to be anchored two miles offshore, passengers and good ferried to her by tugboats, bumboats as they were informally called. Several traders had boarded and set up stalls on the aft Promenade. The crew had been given leave to roam the ship or head to shore. I walked down the deck, excited by a familiar person watching the market.

"Perhaps you might want to see their wares?" I asked, smiling at her. She turned around, her face morose as she looked at me. The girl I had met at lunch yesterday, all happy and kind, had been replaced by a mere specter.

"Mr. Murdoch, I-I am afraid while I would certainly enjoy looking at their products I am restricted from doing so in your company." She whispered, her eyes downcast and her head bowed. _It's the damn mother._

"You had no trouble with that last night." I commented, leaning on the rail beside her. Two passengers down at the market looked up and smiled, happy to see young love.

"It was not my choice to have to refuse your company." Her voice had a harsh tone to it, like metal on a rock.

"Your mother I take it?" I asked, mentally restraining myself from putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Yes. She considers you far below me." She replied, a sob in her voice. Although I had enjoyed her by me last night, seeing her crying again was just too much for me to bear.

"Come now, I'll book no crying when there's a market to go see. Surely you'd enjoy it down there, that is what women like, right? Shopping and all that?" I joyfully said, gesturing with a broad wave to market spread out below us. Her sob became a laugh, a delightful sound.

"Fine, if you insist."

"Which I indeed do." I retorted as she took my arm. Her hands barely weighed down my arm as we walked down to the aft Promenade. She looked around, delighted at the array of objects for sale. We had but taken three steps into the market when a gap-toothed Irishman popped out in front of us. He held a pristine white handkerchief in his coal-stained hand. He looked from Ms. Dalian to me and smiled widely, although I wished he wouldn't.

"Here ya' go, Officer. Pretty little handkerchief for your pretty little gal there." He hawked, holding out the edges of it for my examination. Despite the disgusting condition of its salesman it was noticeably free of filth. It was a rather nice piece of work, well made lace adorning the side.

"How much?" I asked, taking it from his hand and rubbing the material between my fingers. The silk was smooth, and I could not help but wonder how this oaf got his hands on something _this _nice.

"Murdoch!" Ms. Dalian gasped, lightly smacking my arm. I gave her a cheeky smile, before turning back to the salesman.

"Oh, three dollars." The man said quickly, hoping I'd miss the outrageous price.

"Three dollars for a scrap of silk with some bobbin lace on the sides? Perhaps you take me for a fool sir. Come now Miss Dalian; let us see if there isn't a better handkerchief in the market." I cried, handing him back the bit of silk in a way that said 'how dare you try and sell me this shoddy craftsmanship'.

"No! No, here two dollars. Just for you." He begged, thrusting the handkerchief back at me. I gave him a smirk and passed two dollars to him, turning to present the handkerchief to Ms. Dalian. She took it, examining it closely.

"Perhaps I should give it to Mother as a peace offering." She joked once we were away from the stall. I laughed, resisting the urge to ruffle her hair or kiss her on her cheek. It was difficult as she tucked the handkerchief into the small pink silk purse she was carrying. _Murdoch, you're digging yourself in too deep. Buying things for her, that's something you would do if you were to court her! This needs to end, you heard Smith. YOU CAN NOT BE WITH HER!_

"Perhaps, would you join me for tea later?" I asked once I had recovered from my fit of hysterics.

"Mr. Murdoch aren't you ever on watch?" She haughtily asked, placing her hands on her hips in a very feminine way. I wanted to lean down and kiss her, but the rational part of my mind was telling me to remain formal, even if it hurt.

"Late at night, come now. Surely some tea would be good?" I countered; in fact I had been on the watch last night. It had been cold, with a biting wind.

"We'd have to hide you know, if my mother saw us she'd lock me up in my room for the rest of the voyage and have you demoted to a coal shoveller." She retorted, causing me to laugh at the image of my officer uniform dirtied by coal and her tied to a chair in her room.

"Fine, come to the Officer's Mess. She won't think to look for you there. Meet me there at noon." I grabbed her gloved hand and held it close. She grew very red and whispered that she would meet me there later. I jogged back into the market, dodging customers and merchants alike before I found what I wanted. A jeweler's stand. Small, brightly polished rings rested on an old weathered board. I browsed them, ignoring the questioning eyes of the proprietor. Several had small diamonds on them, but the one I picked was a slim, silver band topped by a sapphire. _Damn it, you shouldn't be buying her a ring! You're not allowed to see her, let alone ask her to marry you!_

"Ah, that's a nice little one, ain't it boyo?" The salesman asked, he was much better kept than the last one.

"Aye, can you box it for me?" I replied, dropping it into his palm. He drew out a small velvet box and laid the ring in there.

"Fifteen dollars, sir."

"Here you are." I told him, relinquishing the rest of my pocket money sadly. But the feel of the small box in my pocket quieted the rational side of my mind as I thought of the ring on Ms. Dalian's finger. I knew it was completely irrational and never was going to happen, but the thought of it was like a salve to a burn. It soothed me. I watched as people hurtled about their business, before the market was dismantled and taken back to shore. Final purchases were made and bills settled, then like a specter of the night the people of Queenstown disappeared and _Titanic _was soon making her way out into the Atlantic. I stood in the bow, watching the white water spray from the sheer speed of the ship. Smith joined me, watching over the cold Atlantic with a smile.

"Take her to sea, Mr. Murdoch. Let's stretch her legs." He ordered, smirking at me.

"Yes, sir." I said, turning smartly on my heel and entering the Bridge. Moody was standing there at attention by the speed annunciator telegrams.

"Full speed Mr. Moody." I told them, turning the port one to full as Moody performed the action on the starboard side. _Titanic _vibrated slightly as her speed picked up, the combined action of coal shovellers, officers, and mechanics, carrying us across the water. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of the coal shovellers, imagining myself among them. I walked back out to Smith, pausing a moment to inhale the sharp Atlantic air, feeling the bite of it in my lungs.

"Twenty-one knots, sir." I told Smith watching as he sighed, keeping guard over his world. My mind wandered, and suddenly it wasn't Smith in front of me but Annastasia. She was wearing a cobalt dress, the train of it whipping in the breeze. She turned, light catching a blue twinkle on her left hand. The ring I had just bought rested delicately on her finger as she wrapped her arms around me and whispered into my ear. The silk of her elbow gloves ran lightly across my skin. Whatever she said was lost on the wind as she pressed her lips to mine.

"Why, it's almost noon. I have a lunch to get to, keep an eye on the ship for me." Smith said, jerking me out of my fantasy and back to the real world. Noon! I needed to get to the Officer's Mess. Once Smith was out of sight I returned to the Bridge, looking for Moody.

"I'll be in the mess, if anything should occur, fetch me immediately." I ordered, heading into the Mess. A steward was in the kitchen, preparing the officer's lunch. The Captain would dine with the passengers, of course so I should have all the privacy I needed here. I dismissed the steward and placed some tea leaves into a pot of boiling water and let them steep. While they were steeping I poured milk, fetched sugar and pulled the good china out of a cabinet. Setting everything into a tray and placing two cups and saucers with it, I slowly moved out of the kitchen and set it on the table. I had no sooner set it down and sat myself when Ms. Dalian burst in, her hair in disarray and her cheeks flushed with exertion.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd come." I panicked, rising to help her to the wooden chair on the other side of the table. The rather romantic tea I had planned went right out the window as the stiff, formal and completely boring part of my mind took over. I took my hat off as I sat across from her, picking up the tea pot. I stared at the brown tea as I heard myself speak.

"I am afraid I must apologize, I've been very forward lately." The words tasted bitter on my tongue, but the bitterness was offset as Annastasia accepted her cup, brushing my hand with her gloved fingers.

"Oh, Mr. Murdoch you don't need to do that. I've been rather out of sorts lately as well. I just cannot shake the feeling that something momentous will happen on this voyage." Her voice seemed even sweeter as she called me by my name.

"Momentous . . . everything about _Titanic _is momentous." I replied crisply, pouring my own cup of tea. She gave a slight giggle at this and fiddled with something that she held. She forgot it though and stirred two spoonfuls of sugar into her tea. I'd have to remember that she liked her tea sweet if I ever invited her back.

"Oh, I bought this for you." She seemed to remember what she had been playing with and brought a large, golden pocket watch up and set it on the table. _Another gift? Perhaps she **does **think I'm courting her. Well, it isn't like I'm trying **not **to_.

"For me? But, why?" I babbled, holding it gently.

"I believe it is quite obvious that my Mother has no intention of sending the gift she said she would. I took it upon myself to buy a gift for you." She remarked grouchily, focusing on her tea. I ran my hands across the engraving on the surface. A small sailing ship was making its way through the gilded waves, shiny and new. I pressed the catch on the side, letting the top move back to reveal the actual watch. Classic Roman Numerals ran the whole of it, but the space above it occupied my attention.

"A photograph would fit rather nicely in here." I told her, shoving the rational side of my mind away. "Would you be willing to take one with me? There is a photographer here on the ship."

"Why, Mr. Murdoch! I . . ." She hesitated, her eyes growing thoughtful. "I would love to." She finished, causing me to inwardly cheer. She seemed looser as she drained what was left in her cup and smiled at me. I didn't have the heart to tell her that there were a few tea dregs in her teeth.

"Oh, splendid. Shall I escort you?" I asked, rising from the table after setting my cup down on its saucer. She nodded, grasping my arm in her familiar way, one hand in the crook of my elbow, the other on my forearm. We descended two decks, turning down the innumerable hallways and corridors of _Titanic _until we reached the photographer's studio. I opened the door for her, her lavender perfume rising to caress me.

"Let me guess, you want a picture?" Mr. Sanders, the photographer, asked. He had been an employee of White Star for most of his life, and was looking forward to retiring with his family in America.

"If you would be willing."

"It's gonna cost ya."

"I can pay." I growled, looking back at Ms. Dalian. She looked like a statue of Venus come to life, her blond hair pushed back so that the small pearl earrings she wore were revealed. _How are you going to pay when you spent all your money on that STUPID RING THAT YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO USE? _Annastasia shifted around in her chair, but she stilled when I gently placed my hand on her shoulder. Sanders buried himself under his camera, and a bright flash occurred as the photograph was taken. Ms. Dalian blinked rapidly and twisted her head slightly. Frantic, but calmly so Annastasia would not notice, I dug in my pocket. A stray slip of paper was stuck to edge, two dollars.

"Be ready tomorrow." Sanders remarked as he came back out of the dark room. I dropped the two bills that I had found onto his camera, escorting Ms. Dalian out of the studio.

"Thank you. I have to go though." She said as we left, her hand travelling down to mine and giving it a gentle squeeze. A small burst of heat accompanied it, running through my body.

"What for?" I breathed, watching as her own face blushed.

"Tea, if I miss it Mother will lock me up for the rest of the trip." She replied, her head dipping. I slid my fingers underneath her chin, her skin soft on mine. A flush rose to her cheeks as I touched her.

"Well, we can't have that. I hope that I might see you later?"

"Perhaps, if you are not on watch." She commented, I withdrew my fingers as I began to laugh. I turned down a hallway still laughing at her memory. _Murdoch, you're digging yourself in so deep, aren't you forgetting what Smith, and her MOTHER, said?_

"Bugger off." I told my conscience, stomping up the Grand Staircase to the Boat Deck. Moody was staring out the Bridge windows, as if contemplating the whole meaning of life. He snapped to attention and let me resume my stance for the duration of the watch. I stepped out of the Bridge to get a breath of air when I saw a shockingly large amount of red hair blowing in the wind.

"So you had better not say anything!" A high, feminine voice shrieked. The red haired girl stalked off, leaving a fuming Annastasia behind her. Her lips were pressed together, and I was fairly sure that she would curse like a sailor if she was permitted. As it was, she turned back to the sea and I took my usual place by her side. On the little bit of deck that I could see, Wilde stood watching me.

"Rather unkind, isn't she?" I asked, jokingly. A smirk tugged the corners of her mouth up, causing my heart to beat a little faster.

"Is it your purpose in life to track me?" She queried, the smirk becoming more evident. I couldn't help but think that she looked better than she did now, her hair blowing in the breeze and smiling at me. _Damn it, you need to stop this. Seeing her is only going to make leaving her worse!_

"Perhaps, but if you stayed with me than you would require no tracking." I retorted, causing her to give a very unladylike laugh.

"Ah, he has wit as well as charm." She acquiesced, blushing along her cheekbones. I offered her my arm, imaging a romantic walk around the Promenade but she hesitated. "Are you sure we should be doing this? People might see us."

"Oh, I-I apologize. I will just leave you." I replied, leaving with a dismissive wave of my hand. I turned on my heel and began to walk away. _You see? She didn't want you after all; it's fairly obvious if she wouldn't hold your arm in -_

"Mr. Murdoch." Her voice broke through my delusional ranting, the sweet note of a bell. Maybe, just maybe, she did want to be with me. I decided to have a little fun with her, and kept walking as if I hadn't heard her.

"Murdoch!" She called, anxious.

"Will!" She said firmly, a light hand resting on my shoulder. I smiled and turned to face her, her own face angry but trying hard not to smile when she saw me. I gave a slight chuckle, and grabbed her hand. "Why you little devil!"

"It got you to walk with me, didn't it Annastasia?" I grinned, directing her down the Promenade. Her hair began to sway as we walked, and I found myself trying hard not to run my hands through it.

"The weather is beautiful." She breathed. _As are you . . . _

"Indeed." I guided her to a pair of deck chairs that had been drawn into the shade of a funnel. We . . . we needed to talk. I picked up her hand, focusing on running my own hand across it. "Ms. Dalian I would feel terrible if this continued and I did not ask your opinion on our relationship. I do not want to press it if you do not desire to be with me."

"I understand, it-it is odd for me to have these feelings. I _do_ have feelings for you Mr. Murdoch." She mumbled, staring at my hand. I was suddenly aware of how private this moment was. No one else was walking along the deck.

"You are too kind." I whispered, moving my hand up to her cheek and stroking it gently. She shivered but leaned into my palm, her eyes closed.

"Are you sure you want me though?" She breathed, causing me to run my thumb along her jaw.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"My parents, the fact that I'm not the most attractive person on the ship, not by far, there are many reasons." Annastasia seemed all too willing to list the reasons that she was unattractive. I ground my teeth, unwilling to think that she was ugly and cruel.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, and I would gladly suffer through your family's hatred just to be next to you." I told her, moving to her chair and placing my arm around her waist. She leaned closer, and I followed. Her face was even more beautiful up close, her long lashes batting over her deep chocolate eyes. _Get back! You can't do this-_ My thoughts were cut off as our lips gently met, her soft and yielding to mine. I found myself running my hands up her back, knotting my fingers into her soft, blond hair. I pulled back, looking deep into her eyes. I found no resentment or anger as other ladies would have, but only love and kindness.

"Forgive me; I do not know what came over me." I breathed, touching her forehead with mine.

"No, I won't forgive you for that. It was . . . wonderful." She murmured, cupping my face with her own hand. My heart felt like it would sing, thrusting the rational side of my mind away. The world suddenly seemed perfect, where we were allowed to be together without any speculation. A set of heavy thumping steps came down the deck, a set of very familiar heavy thumping steps. My head swam as I drew Annastasia up and further into the shade of the funnel. Smith walked by, his head swinging to and fro. Damn that Wilde, he must have seen me walking with her.

"I have to go." I told her, bringing her hand to my lips for one last kiss.

"Why?"

"Your mother isn't the only one that disapproves of our relationship." I chuckled, moving out to approach Smith. I could hear him grinding his teeth as he looked around the deck. I tapped him on the shoulder and watched as he jumped a foot in the air.

"Damn it, Murdoch. Where did you go?" He demanded, turning on me with a vengeance. "Wilde said he saw you head off with a girl!"

"Oh, I was just walking along the deck sir. You know, making sure that no one had fallen over, counting the deck chairs, that sort of thing." I shrugged, as if I had been doing ordinary tasks and not sharing a private moment with Annastasia. I looked back and saw her striding forward, a grin on her face.

"Why if it isn't our little heroine, how have you been?" Smith responded graciously, noticing her over my shoulder. I gave her a guarded glance, her face full of mischief.

"Very well, Captain. In fact, I was just taking a turn around the deck." She replied, batting her eyelashes and causing my heart to skip a beat.

"Oh, well, uh, I would love for you to join us but I am afraid that I must be off to the Bridge." I had never seen Smith so flustered and she seemed to do it with only a glance.

"I understand, I may just spend the rest of my day in the Turkish Baths. Good day to you Captain Smith, _Mr. Murdoch_." She pronounced my name with a slight tone, causing me to smile down at her. As soon as her back was turned Smith turned to me.

"I thought you said that you weren't seeing her." He growled, taking my arm and steering me back to the Bridge.

"I'm not sir." I protested, "She must have just noticed us on the deck!"

"Murdoch, I trust you to stay away from her but on this voyage, this voyage is far too important for you to wander away. Mr. Ismay is pressuring me to increase speed; he wants us in New York a day early. You are to stand watch right here and not move until Wide relieves you." He ordered, pointing to a spot to the left of the helmsman. I planted my feet carefully, staring out the windows and tried to return to the place where I had just come from.


	7. Annastasia 5

Readying for dinner that night helped calm my mind. The repetitive task of brushing my hair let my thoughts wander. I had kissed him! Or had he kissed me? We had both travelled equal distances for the kiss, so perhaps the blame didn't fall to either of us. My mind was pulled back to the task at hand as I pricked my finger on my new hair comb, shaped like a horse galloping, that was to hold back my hair. I pinned the bronze object so that it would hold back most of my hair but leave one curled ringlet coming down my left ear. I put Mr. Murdoch's handkercheif down my corset so that it was nestled snug against my body.

"Annastasia dear, can you ring for Judy to come up?" Father called, opening the door. Judy, Judy was our maid back home. I turned to the mirror, biting my bottom lip.

"Father, Judy isn't here. We're on the _Titanic_, headed for home. Remember?" I asked, talking through my clenched teeth. Father's eyes were cloudy, confused. He had been like this for several weeks, forgetting where we were, who I was and many small facts. One of the reasons we were returning home was to get him to a doctor that might be able to help him.

"_Titanic_, oh right you are my dear." He snorted after a moment, shaking his head like a bull. I rose from my chair and followed him out. I had changed into a scarlet dress, beaded on the hem so that when I walked the train made a tinkling sound. mother had somehow arranged it with Mrs. DeWitt Bukater so that we would dine with them tonight. Father led the way down the Grand Staircase with Mother on his arm and me trailing behind people were standing around and talking to one another.

The first class dining saloon had not been set up for dinner yet and most people were standing around and talking to one another. I saw young Mr. Dawson, looking slicked back in a tuxedo, talking to Astors. Mr. Astor was nodding, seemingly won over by the young Mr. Dawson's charisma. Rose, the harpy, stood by his side and guided him through the sea of jewels and silk dresses with ease.

I looked around for Mr. Murdoch but none of the Officers were present. _Why wasn't he here? Was it Mother? Had she scared him off? Or, or did he not like me?_ I pouted slightly, only lightened by the sound of the _Titanic_'s orchestra tuning. The tuning could only mean that dinner would soon follow. The Astors, DeWitt Bukaters, Mrs. Brown, Mr. Ismay - a rakish rapscallion with a massive pair of mustachios -, Mrs. Brown and several other that I had yet to meet sat down at a massive table. My family joined them, adding to the opulence of our table.

"Tell us of the accommodations in steerage, Mr. Dawson. I hear they're quite good on this ship." Mrs. DeWitt Bukater asked as several waiters shuffled around, pouring champagne. Jack panicked, turning down to look at me. I placed two fingers aside my head, trying to tell him to remember what I had said.

"The best I've seen, m'am. Hardly any rats." He responded tactfully, accepting a glass of champagne. He gave me a very large wink and raised his glass to me as Caldon Hockley spoke up.

"Mr. Dawson is joining us from third class. He was of some assistance to my fiancee last night." He drawled, glancing at a waiter as he bent to serve Mr. Dawson. "This is foie gras. It's goose liver." Several diners leaned over and began to whisper to each other.

"A little rough but he's gem ain't he?" Mrs. Brown hissed, causing me to bring my nampkin up to my lips to hide my laugh. I was glad that she had sat next to me, if only to provide an amusing commentary.

"How do you take your caviar, sir?" A waiter asked, a bowl of roe held firmly in his hand.

"Just a soupcon of lemon, it improves the flavor with champagne." Cal said, answering for him. Mr. Dawson turned and gave him a glare that sent Mrs. Brown into peals of laughter that she disguised as a coughing spell before turning back to the waiter.

"No caviar for me, thanks. Never did like it much." He responded to dismiss the waiter, turning back to Mr. Hockley with a fool's grin on his face.

"And where exactly do you live, Mr. Dawson?" Mrs. DeWitt Bukater pressed. I turned to a waiter as he spooned a small amount of caviar on my plate. Using a small spoon I picked up a few of the little fish eggs and crunched them in my mouth. They had a delightful salty taste but after a few more bites I set it aside. No need to spoil the rest of the dinner.

"Well, right now my address is the R.M.S _Titanic_. After that, I'm on God's good humor." He replied humerously, getting a laugh out of the table. Salads were placed in front of everyone and I had to marvel at the presentation of the dish. A bed of leafy green lettuce sat on the plate, small tomatoes hidden in them.

"You find that sort of rootless existence appealing, do you?" Mrs. DeWitt Bukater was not done yet, it appeared, as she prodded yet again at Mr. Dawson.

"Well... it's a big world, and I want to see it all before I go. My father was always talkin' about goin' to see the ocean. He died in the town he was born in, and never did see it. You can't wait around, because you never know what hand you're going to get dealt next. See, my folks died in a fire when I was fifteen, and I've been on the road since. Somethin' like that teaches you to take life as it comes at you. To make each day count." He replied with all seriousness, my lessons more than likely ringing in his head.

"Well said Jack." Mrs. Brown said, raising her glass. I brought my own champagne flute up and clinked it with hers. I giggled as I felt the bubbles go down my throat. Conversation began to flow after that, and the evening passed pleasently but something still ached in my heart.

"I say, have you seen Mr. Reichster's son? He was at a ball we hosted last year, quite the fine young man." Colonel Gracie remarked, causing anyone with the last name Dalian to sour. The Reichsters were the largest competitors for Dalian Trading & Shipping. The youngest Reichster, Zachary, was due to inherit the company on his father's death. He and I had made the papers once when I had thrown a bottle of wine at him when he made a paticuraly crude remark at me.

"The man is a bounder and a cad and I would prefer that he _not _be discussed at this pleasent meal." I requested, screwing my face into a tight line. My mother inclined her head slightly, a nod that I had done the right thing.

"Why, I had read last year the he proposed to you!" Mrs. DeWitt Bukater gasped, shocked that I did not like Zachary.

"He did nothing of the sort, the actual story of quite crude and low if you would believe it."

"Come now my dear, tell us! We have nothing but time." Mr. Hockley said, leaning back as the main course was set before us. A delightful array of meats arranged aroung a pile of potatoes.

"It is rather vulgar."

"I am sure that we have heard worse, or in Mr. Dawson's case, seen worse." His veiled threat did not go unnoticed as Jack began to puff up like a pigeon.

"Very well, the Reichsters were hosting a party. Most of the people in our buisness, the shipping buisness, were present. The younger Mr. Reichster cornered me as I was getting a drink and pressed his intentions in a most unwelcome fashion." I hissed, remembering the groping hands and thin lips in mine.

"Unwelcome?" Jack asked, listening completely. All the conversation had stopped.

"He kissed me roughly and attempted to drag me into a spare bedroom." I explained, stabbing a potatoe and chomping it. "Luckily, Mr. Vanderbilt, a close personal friend of our family,was nearby and managed to free me." I looked over at Mother, her mouth was drawn into a thin line as she remembered the evnts of that night. "The proposal story was put out by the Reichsters so that if any news came out it would only be considered two young lovers trying to get a moment of privacy." The table sat in stunned silence for several minutes, but eventually conversation resumed. After desert, a lovely cake, had been served the men stood up and moved off to the Smoking Lounge. Once they had left I excused myself to the Powder Room.

"So, Wilde. Have you managed to find a girl on here yet? You've got have several admirers beign Cheif Officer and all." I heard Hockley ask, his voice was faint through the thick door. I pressed my ear to crack and listened closely as a grumbling voice that I assumed was Wilde spoke.

"No, shipboard dailliances are merely entertaing but they never last. The girls you can meet are too proud to give us what we _really _want." He grunted, "Besides, why would we want to settle down when can get all we need from those _special _New York girls." I clutched my chest, only now aware of how tight my corset was. Air. I needed air. I sprinted up on deck, the cold Atlantic air hitting me like a fist. _Is that what I am? A shipboard dalliance? Something to seduce and leave behind? _

I swung my head around, looking for someone that I knew. Unfamiliar faces paraded by, each of them staring at me, silently laughing. I turned back to the rail and clutched it tighter, feeling tears begin to flow._ He should be here now. He usually shows up when this happens. Where is he? _I felt utterly alone, admist a sea of people. Nobody, nobody that I knew.

"Oi, miss. You alright?" A voice asked, I turned hoping to see Murdoch but instead there were two Officers. One of them was younger than the other and furrowed his brow.

"Oh-oh yes. Ha-have you seen Mr. Murdoch?" I stuttered, grabbing the handkercheif and wiping my face.

"Dear Lord, you must be Ms. Dalian." The older one said. I nodded, sniffing.

"What are ya cryin' for then?" The younger asked and was promptly cuffed by the older.

"Forgive Mr. Moody, I'm Fifth Officer Harold Lowe. It's nice to meet you." He responded.

"Pl-pleasure to meet you Mr. Moody, Mr. Lowe." I nodded my head gratefully as another round of sobs racked my body. "Is Murdoch around here?"

"Ach, no missy. Smith's put him on watch. My guess is to keep him away from you, you're all he can talk about ya know. What upset you?" Mr. Moody told me, taking off his cap and bowing.

"I ju-just heard another Officer saying that most girl that the Officers take up with are merely 'shipboard dalliances' and that they're only good for seducing." I sobbed, dabbing my eyes again.

"Did you get his name?" Lowe asked, his face looking at me in a concerned way.

"Wilde."

"That bastard! Don't you listen to him, missy. Murdoch loves you, he's made it clear to all of us." Moody burst out, silenced as Lowe smacked him.

"Trust me, Ms. Dalian. Murdoch wouldn't do anything like that, he's already fallen for you." Lowe calmly said, chuckling slightly. "I'll see if I can't get him alone for you tomorrow. But for now, get back downstairs and clean yourself up."

"You really mean it? He loves me?" I asked in shock, holding the small square of cloth even tighter. _Was I wrong? Did what Wilde said not apply to him?_

"More than likely, bloody loon doesn't shut up about you." Moody grumbled. Lowe gave him a withering glance, then turned back to me. I flung my arms around both him and Moody, embracing them.

"Thank you. Thank you both so much." I said, letting them go and stumbling down the stairs. _He loves me! But Mother . . . Forget her for right now! He loves you!_

"Well, at least one of our daughters showed up." Mother said as I approached bother her and Mrs. DeWitt Bukater. Rose was nowhere to be seen, more than likely she had run off with the Dawson boy. She had been looking at him throughout the whole meal. We sat in the First Class Lounge and spoke of frivilous matters until the clcok rang ten at night. Mother and I excused ourselves for bed.

"Promise me one thing, Annastasia dear." My father asked as he emerged from the Smoking Lounge.

"What Father?"

"When I am gone, don't let our buisness fall into the Reichsters hands. Make sure that Dalian Shipping & Trading stays around for a long, long time." He begged, looking over at me. His eyes were more lucid than they had been for the past month.

"I promise, I won't let the Reichsters get our buisness."


	8. Annastasia 6

Next morning, Sunday, dawned too early and interrupted a particularly delightful dream of mine concerning Mr. Murdoch, a beautiful dress, and a repented Captain Smith in front of us. Mother dressed me, a very conservative dress for the Divine Service, and we left as punctual as could be. I itched at the high collar and long sleeves of the hideously outdated dress. When we reached the First Class Dining Saloon we took our places in the pews. This room seemed to have so many uses, first a tea room, a dining room and now a chapel. Smith was leading the service, everyone joining in a hymn.

"_Eternal Father, strong to save,_

_Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,_

_Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep_

_Its own appointed limits keep;_

_Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,_

_For those in peril on the sea!_"

The voices of the first class passengers rose in a delightful chorus to the ceiling. A heavenly choir couldn't have sounded better. It felt like the world had been set at peace, except for a few events that had to be straightened out, but a place where everything had been set right.

_Do you love him? _A small voice in my head asked, sounding sarcastic. It sounded like my Mother, the same tone of voice that caused me to cringe was evident in it.

**_Of course, he's delightful, charming, what more could I ask for? _**I answered back confidently.

_Well, money for one. A settled man who didn't have to cross between countries to make ends meet. A man that knows how to dance at balls and hunt for game. Someone that could keep you settled in style for years to come. Plus, how are sure that he loves you?_

**_I already have enough money. As for those types of men, they are far too given to claiming mistresses and bastard children. As for whether or not he loves me, he said he'd endure my Mother, I couldn't ask for more._**

_And what, you think Murdoch wouldn't turn his back on you once you got old and gray? If your fortune runs out and someone steals your business? A man should provide for his woman, not the other way around._

**_Oh shut up. It isn't as if Murdoch is some beggar in the streets. He's a wonderful man, and from what Lowe and Moody said he loves me._**

_Are you forgetting what you heard Wilde say? Isn't is possible that Low and Moody just said those things to placate you? It may be that Will is the one that visits those, those houses of Ill Repute with him._

**_Could it be?_**

_It's a chance._

**_Why are you torturing me like this? I told you that I love him and you only keep giving me reasons to doubt him._**

_Hey, I'm the part of you that's thinking rationally. I'm trying to pull you out of the little lovey-dovey hole you've got yourself in._

**_Can't you just let me be in peace?_**

_I'm just trying to make sure that you consider the option that maybe Murdoch isn't the best for you. All I want you to do is think about it._ I shook my head in defiance, unwilling to believe that Murdoch could be unfaithful. My conscience was right though, there was a chance. The service ended a little while after the hymn had been sung. Heaven forbid the First Class rested on the Sabbath.

"Mother, I beg your pardon but I need to leave." I whispered, turning to her. She gave a fierce nod and turned to follow Mrs. DeWitt Bukater. They had struck up a friendship and they earnestly hoped that Rose and I would set aside our differences and follow their example. I for one was not willing to follow that. I emerged up on the Boat Deck, turning for the Bridge. Sure enough, Murdoch was there. He stood looking out the windows but not looking like himself.

"Will!" I hissed, leaning into the doorway. Moody was at the helm and promptly shoved Murdoch and pointed in my direction. He broke into a huge smile, coming over to see me. I stepped inside and stood to the left of the door so that no one would see me.

"Annastasia, what are you doing here? You could get thrown off for being in here." He asked, gently touching my face.

"Will, I don't care. I need to know, do you love me?" I whispered, grabbing onto his coat. The little gold buttons, emblazoned with the White Star pennant, bit into my palms.

"Love?"

"Yes, Will. Love."

"I-I . . ." _Here it comes, the big rejection. I told you! _"Yes. Annastasia I love you." He crushed me to his chest, kissing my hair, my ears, anything he could get at. "I love you. You need to leave though."

"No, just let me stay here a moment." I begged, pressing my head even closer to his chest. **_I knew it, I knew he loved me._** That was all that rushed through my mind as Murdoch held me even closer.

"Will! Get her out of here! Smith's coming." Moody hissed, causing Will to break away. He pulled me to the other side of the Bridge; a door twin to the one that I had come through was there. He pulled me out of it, then kissed me. Just as our first kiss had been one of surprise, this one was one of promise. A promise that he would be there, sealing what he had said before.

"I love you Will." I told him, staring deep into his blue eyes. It felt as if my heart would come out my chest as he bent and kissed my forehead.

"Get going, I'll try and get away to see you." He whispered, turning me and giving me a little shove. I stumbled down the deck, my head in the clouds. I ran my fingers over his handkerchief, which I had again stored in my corset. A flash of red hair drew me down, Jack was pulling Rose into the gymnasium, but she seemed to be complying. I waited outside, and when she came out I caught her wrist.

"Now it's my turn." I growled, pulling her towards a pair of deck chairs. "Tell me what is going on between you two." She no longer seemed like the Gorgon that had screeched at me a few days ago but like a scared girl.

"He, he took me to a party in Third class last night. We were dancing, and drinking and it just seemed . . . perfect. I think I love him." She breathed, seeming happy to just be able to tell someone. Now that I knew both of her secrets it seemed she trusted me, at least a little. Frankly, I was just glad she wasn't acting like she would bite my head off in an instant with no remorse.

"Ah, and your fiancée?" I queried.

"Oh, I had forgotten about him." She sighed, cradling her head in her hands.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out." I said before leaving. Now that we weren't enemies, but weren't friends, I could trust her slightly. I wandered back down the deck, headed for the stern. For some reason what rose had said about the Third class interested me. A band had set up and was serenading the people who were on that section of the deck. A high lilting Irish voice sang out a sorrowful ballad of murder and treachery.

"_A farmer lived in the North Country,_

_Hey ho, bonny-o,_

_He had daughters one, two, three._

_One was as bright as is the sun,_

_And coal black grew another one._

_A knight came riding to the farmer's door,_

_He'd travelled far to be their wooer._

_He courted one with gloves and rings,_

_He loved the other above all things._

_Oh sister, won't you walk with me,_

_The swans they swim so bonny-o._

_And see the ships sail on the sea?_

_And as they passed the river's brim,_

_The eldest pushed the youngest in._

_Sometimes she sank, sometimes she swam,_

_Crying, "Sister, reach to me your hand!"_

_I'll give you neither hand nor glove,_

_'Less you give me your own true love._

_The miller's daughter, dressed in red,_

_Went for some water to bake some bread._

_Oh, Father, Father, here swims a swan,_

_The river carries her body on._

_They laid her on the bank to dry,_

_There came a minstrel passing by._

_He made pins of her fingers fair,_

_And he made strings of her golden hair._

_He made a harp out of her breastbone,_

_The sound of which would melt a heart of stone._

_He took it to her father's hall_

_The family there assembled all._

_He placed the harp upon a stone_

_And it began to play alone._

_The first string sang a doleful sound:_

_The younger sister, she is drowned._

_The second string the minstrel tried,_

_And terror seized the black-haired bride._

_The third string played beneath her bones,_

_And surely now her tears will flow._" As the song finished I joined in with the crowd applauding. The music had struck something inside of me, a part of me that wished to be poor. Being poor might solve my problems, I could marry Murdoch and it would be considered a step up in life instead of a shame and something to be frown upon. I wouldn't have to worry about the Reichsters. Scandalous articles in the paper would be a thing of the past. My conduct wouldn't have to be monitored every second of the day.

"That was rather impressive." I heard a voice say. Mother and Ruth had made their way back here, more than likely attracted by the singing.

"Indeed, the man should be in a choir." I responded, but was stopped by Ruth's loud _tsk_.

"Poor music for poor people. I believe the orchestra is playing now in the lounge, they would be much more suiting." She hissed, turning her back on the small band. Mother and I turned to follow, leaving the band as they began to play another tune.

"_In Oranmore, in the County Galway_

_One pleasant evening in the month of May_

_I spied a damsel she was young and handsome_

_Her beauty fairly took my breath away_." Many men below began to sing along with the band, one voice that I recognized among them. I saw Murdoch standing at the railing, his head thrown back as he sang. He saw me and smiled, his voice rising again.

"Her beauty fairly took my breath away."


	9. Murdoch 3

"Ah, boys I'm telling you, she's the best looking girl I ever saw." I sighed, dropping my spoon into my soup. Both Lowe and Moody groaned and looked back to their food. Wilde had relieved me after more than five hours into my watch. Just in time for dinner, and I had been unable to close my mouth. I poured out how I admired Annastasia, how she looked and acted. The others were sick of me complimenting her every minute.

"Will, please. We're eating here." Lowe growled as he tore off a piece of bread.

"Harold, just shut it." I responded, loudly slurping my soup. Moody cast his eyes between the two of us and held his salad a little closer. I didn't blame him; we were notorious for stealing food from each other.

"Why don't you just talk to Smith about it?" Moody suggested, biting into a crisp tomato.

"Smith forbade it the first day."

"You've been after her for two days and you're acting as if it's been two years!" Lowe sighed, shoving the remains of his dinner away.

"Is that a problem?" I questioned, picking up my bowl and draining what was left.

"Will, is it really possible to . . . you know, love this girl after knowing her for two days?" Moody asked.

"What's goin' on? Does Willie here have a little girl?" Lightoller said as he walked in from his station on watch. Duties around now were usually passed onto a few sailors so that we could eat. Pitman, the Third Officer would keep an eye on the ship and get his dinner after the watch. Boxhall followed him, grabbing the plates that a steward had left out. Stewards never liked to stay long around officers.

"Be quiet! If Smith hears you we're all dead." I cried, pulling the door to the mess closed. Luckily neither Wilde nor Smith came barging in.

"Alright, Will. Tell us, who is she?" Lightoller pressed, sitting down next to me. Lightoller reminded me of my older brother, in fact most of the officers had become like a family to me.

"Annastasia Dalian." I sighed, thinking of her soft lips.

"Her father owns Dalian Shipping!" Lowe interjected, gaining a low whistle from Moody. The Dalians were an impressive family, their fortune made on the sea. A marriage into their family would earn one a place among the top of New York society.

"She's just, she's beautiful and smart. She can be a little judgmental on herself, but she's the sweetest girl I've ever met." I continued, ignoring the gagging motions Moody was making. I kicked him under the table.

"He's got it bad." Boxhall chuckled, eating his own dinner.

"Yes sir." Lightoller agreed.

"Wouldn't be surprised if he proposed to her." Lowe commented.

"Seems like he's really fallen for her." Moody completed their round of comments. I sat there stunned. _Had I truly been so blind as to not notice what she has become to me? All the others seem to see what I did not._

"Can we not discuss my personal life at the moment please?" I begged, cradling my head in my hands. The other officers responded with a round of loud laughs that were cut off as the mess door banged against the wall. Wilde walked in, a smug smile on his face.

"What was so funny gentlemen?" He asked, glaring at Moody. Moody reluctantly got up and moved over, standing so Wilde could sit. "Mr. Murdoch. I seem to recall that you should be on watch, and all of you should be finishing your duties."

"We, um, we were just eating." Lowe grumbled, rising from his place next to Wilde.

"All of you, out. Now." Wilde growled, throwing a plate against the wall. He was always like this, temperamental and angry. He seemed to think that just because he was Chief Officer that he could abuse the rest of us. We left the room as if it had caught on fire, Harold and James walking down the deck, Lightoller and Boxhall trying to find somewhere to eat the rest of their dinner. After dismissing Pitman I was back on watch, the long hours ticking by as slow as molasses.

"Will, you can't stay up here forever. Get some sleep, what you can that is." I vaguely heard Lightoller command, shoving me out onto the deck. I stumbled down past the Chief Officer's quarters before I slumped through the door to my room. It was rather bear, a bed and a dresser with a lamp on it. A small door lead to a head. I dropped my hat on the lamp and folded my coat into a drawer. The pocket watch clinked as I pushed the drawer closed, making me think of Annastasia.

Today had been wonderful, the half that I had spent with Annastasia the best of all. The way she had yielded softly when I kissed her, how she held onto me when we had parted from the kiss. The softness of my pillow made me think of her shoulder, bare under my hand as we took the photograph. Sleep was good that night, the few hours that I got. A steward woke me up, giving me orders that I was to be on watch while Smith lead the Divine Services.

"Alright, just let me get up." I growled, grabbing my hat and coat I made my way to the Bridge. I blinked my eyes several times as I stood on watch. The helmsman looked like he was about to fall over. I sent the steward, who had followed me like a dog, for a pot of coffee.

"Right away, sir." He said, headed for the officer's mess. The poor sailor on the helm was drooping as I stood there.

"Get some sleep, send Moody to relieve you." I told him, clapping an arm over his shoulders. Once he had exited I took the helm in my hands. A feeling of power ran through me, the thought that through his wheel I could control where this ship and all upon her went.

"Will, quit groping the wheel." Moody hissed as he walked in looking extremely tired. The steward trailed him with a pot of coffee on a tray with a few cups. I let the wheel go, cuffed Moody playfully as he went to take it, grabbed a cup of coffee and gave it to Moody before pouring my own. The steward left quickly, none of them seemed to like being on the Bridge.

"Met your girl last night, is she always crying?" He asked, knocking back the coffee.

"Unfortunately, quite often." I responded, looking at the ocean through the Bridge windows. The water was calm, like sailing on a lake. I grabbed my cup of coffee, considered throwing it into my eyes to wake me up, but instead I knocked it back.

"Lord, she's pretty though. Even when she's crying. Did ya hear what she heard Wilde saying?" Moody continued, a sour taste forming in my mouth as he mention Wilde.

"No, what did he say?"

"Told somebody that the only reason Officers take up with passengers is to . . . well, you know." He blushed as he mentioned it. Moody was so much like a younger brother, embarrassed by the mere mention of a certain subject.

"Bastard." I growled.

"That's what I said." He responded, our conversation lapsing into silence.

"Will!" A feminine voice hissed, followed by a rather rough push from Moody. I turned to see Annastasia poking her head through the doorway. I smiled immediately as she stepped in and his behind the wall.

"Annastasia, what are you doing here? You could get thrown off for being in here." I asked, cupping her face gently like I had yesterday. Her eyes had a wild look to them as she grabbed my coat and tugged me closer.

"Will, I don't care. I need to know, do you love me?" She whispered, her face desperate.

"Love?" I asked, unsure that she had actually said that. _Do I? What time we've had together, it's been wonderful. Could I really be in love after just two days?_

"Yes, Will. Love." _Say it, half the damn ship can probably tell. You might as well come to terms with it._

"I-I . . . Yes. Annastasia I love you." It was like a weight had been lifted from her as I embraced her. I leaned down at kissed her hair, ears, anything I could get at. This was the woman I loved; I could do what I wanted with her. She couldn't be here though, if anyone walked in both she and I would get barred from being on a White Stat Line ship. "I love you. You need to leave though."

"No, just let me stay here a moment." She requested, pressing herself closer to me. I ran my hands through the small bit of her hair that had come undone.

"Will! Get her out of here! Smith's coming." Moody ordered, causing me to jerk back from our embrace. I pulled her to the other door, pulling her out after me. She stood there, the wildness gone from her face and replaced with pure happiness and joy. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her, feeling giddy as she wrapped her arms wound my neck. We stood there for a moment longer, before she brought her lips up to my ear.

"I love you Will." She whispered, a beautiful sound.

"Get going, I'll try and get away to see you." I told her, putting my hand on the small of her back and pressing gently. She stumbled but regained her feet and continued to walk down the deck. I turned back around, composed myself and entered the Bridge. Smith was examining Moody as he turned the helm to port slightly.

"You're not needed now Murdoch, enjoy yourself." He said, looking back from the slowly turning bow. "Stay away from that girl though."

"Yes sir." I replied happily, ready to disobey him. I jogged down the deck, searching for Annastasia. She'd be so happy to see me; we could spend the rest of the day together! As long as her Mother didn't interfere . . .

"Will! Come on, there's a band setting up at the stern!" Lowe called, coming up beside me.

"But Harold, I want to go see Annastasia." I complained as he took my arm and pulled me down the stairs to the third class deck.

"You can see her later! Right now, we're both off watch and I intend to have a good time!" He shouted above the roiling noise of the band. Fast pitched Celtic music wound its way through the crowd, bringing them to a dancing fury. Men stamped their feet to the music and whirled their lasses around. A rather drunk woman grabbed onto me and gave me a very wet kiss on my cheek. I stood stunned as she was forced away by the crowd.

"Christ Will, she's drunk it's not real." Lowe said, punching my arm. The band began to play a slow song, beers being pressed into our open hands and the foam spilling over. Lowe lifted his and began to sing along with the band.

"_Should auld acquaintance be forgot, _

_And never brought to mind? _

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot, _

_And auld lang syne!" _Lowe sang it with an English vigor but I quickly tossed some beer foam on him.

"That ain't how ya do it! Listen to a true Scotsman!" I yelled, causing him to laugh outrageously.

"_For auld lang syne, my jo,_

_For auld lang syne,_

_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet_

_For auld lang syne._" I was reminded of my family all together on holidays, the traditional anthem being played and sang to by all. Lowe clapped an arm around my shoulder and joined in as we both sang together.

"_And surely you'll be your pint stoup,_

_And surely I'll be mine,_

_And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet_

_For auld lang syne!_

_For auld lang syne, my jo,_

_For auld lang syne,_

_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet_

_For auld lang syne._

_We twa hae ran about the braes,_

_And pou'd the gowans fine,_

_But we've wander'd monie a weary fit_

_Sin' auld lang syne._

_For auld lang syne, my jo,_

_For auld lang syne,_

_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet_

_For auld lang syne._

_We twa hae paidl'd in the burn_

_Frae morning sun til dine,_

_But seas between us braid hae roar'd_

_Sin' auld lang syne._

_For auld lang syne, my jo,_

_For auld lang syne,_

_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet_

_For auld lang syne._

_And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,_

_And gie's a hand o' thine,_

_And we'll tak a right gude willie waught_

_For auld lang syne!_

_For auld lang syne, my jo,_

_For auld lang syne,_

_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet_

_For auld lang syne._" There was a great stamping of feet and whistling as the band finished the song. I swallowed the rest of my beer, my Scottish blood boiling in me. Lowe on the other hand had down three beers during the song and was fast working his way to becoming completely inebriated. A flash of color caught my eye. Annastasia was standing at the railing and looking particularly moist eyed as the band began to play a slow, sad song.

"_A farmer lived in the North Country,_

_Hey ho, bonny-o,_

_He had daughters one, two, three._

_One was as bright as is the sun,_

_And coal black grew another one._

_A knight came riding to the farmer's door,_

_He'd travelled far to be their wooer._

_He courted one with gloves and rings,_

_He loved the other above all things._" I pressed my way through the crowd, trying to get through to the stairs. The ballad rang a familiar tune with me though, the story of a beautiful girl and her black haired, and black hearted, sister. The beautiful sister was being courted by a bold night, but her sister was jealous.

"_Oh sister, won't you walk with me,_

_The swans they swim so bonny-o._

_And see the ships sail on the sea?_

_And as they passed the river's brim,_

_The eldest pushed the youngest in._

_Sometimes she sank, sometimes she swam,_

_Crying, "Sister, reach to me your hand!"_

_I'll give you neither hand nor glove,_

_'Less you give me your own true love._" I managed to get to the stairs, shoving several people out of my way as I tried to gain the upper deck. As for the song, the black haired sister killed her kind hearted sister by drowning her and leaving her floating down a river, or the sea, depending on what version you heard.

"_The miller's daughter, dressed in red,_

_Went for some water to bake some bread._

_Oh, Father, Father, here swims a swan,_

_The river carries her body on._

_They laid her on the bank to dry,_

_There came a minstrel passing by._

_He made pins of her fingers fair,_

_And he made strings of her golden hair._

_He made a harp out of her breastbone,_

_The sound of which would melt a heart of stone._" I thrust the gate to the upper deck open, starting towards her. Meanwhile, the poor sister's body was laid out on a bank to be prepared for her burial when a minstrel came by, and this is the part that scared me when I was a boy, made a harp out of her body.

"_He took it to her father's hall_

_The family there assembled all._

_He placed the harp upon a stone_

_And it began to play alone._

_The first string sang a doleful sound:_

_The younger sister, she is drowned._

_The second string the minstrel tried,_

_And terror seized the black-haired bride._

_The third string played beneath her bones,_

_And surely now her tears will flow._" I slid to a stop as her mother approached, as for the cruel sister who was to wed her sister's suitor, she wouldn't be around for much longer. Her mother was followed by a severe looking woman that frowned at the band.

"Poor music for poor people." I heard her briefly say as her voice was blown over by the wind. Annastasia looked like she wanted to stay but when her eyes caught me they opened wide. The band abandoned its slow songs and picked up the pace with a faster tune. I couldn't help but sing aloud to it.

"_In Oranmore, in the County Galway_

_One pleasant evening in the month of May_

_I spied a damsel she was young and handsome_

_Her beauty fairly took my breath away_." The song was a favorite of mine, now more than ever. I smiled at Annastasia and repeated the last line, directed towards her.

"Her beauty fairly took my breath away." She smiled, a beautiful face that not even Michelangelo could have surpassed. She disappeared far too quickly, leaving me standing alone on the railing singing to myself.

"_She wore no jewels or costly diamonds_

_No paint or powder, no none at all_

_She wore a bonnet with a ribbon on it_

_And around her shoulder was the Galway shawl_

_As we kept on walking, she kept on talking_

_Till her father's cottage came into view_

_Said she Come in, Sir, and meet my father_

_And for to please him play the Foggy Dew_

_I played the Blackbird and the Stack of Barley_

_Rodney's Glory and the Foggy Dew_

_She sang each note like an Irish Linnet_

_And the tears flowed in her eyes of blue_

_She wore no jewels or costly diamonds_

_No paint or powder, no none at all_

_She wore a bonnet with a ribbon on it_

_And around her shoulder was the Galway shawl_

_'Twas early, early, all in the morning_

_I took the road for old Donegal_

_Said she Goodbye Sir, I dried my eye for_

_My heart remained with the Galway shawl_

_She wore no jewels or costly diamonds_

_No paint or powder, no none at all_

_She wore a bonnet with a ribbon on it_

_And around her shoulder was the Galway shawl_." I laughed silently to myself, thinking of how much that song applied to me. Slowly, as the day began to end, the crowd left. A very drunk Lowe was standing in front of the stairs, looking at them as if they held the answers to all his questions.

"Come on Harold, let's get some coffee." I said, pulling him after me. He stumbled along and groaned a good deal but followed me. After I had gotten some coffee into him he perked back up, not nearly as drunk as he had appeared to be.

"Well, that was _hic _fun." Lowe granted, sounding slightly tipsy. I pulled him along to his quarters, took his coat and hat off and left him snoring on his bed. I was tired, but I needed to get something, something that was very important. I opened the door to find Sanders busy tinkering with his camera.

"Oh, it's you." He growled before heading into the other room and coming back with a small piece of paper. "Any particular place you want this?"

"Here." I said, extending the pocket watch. He examined it, toying with the top until a small glass frame popped out. He placed the photograph inside and handed it back to me. "Thank you."

"You can thank me by leaving." He returned, moving back to his camera. I stomped back up to deck, opening the door to Lowe's room. He hadn't moved an inch and sounded like someone sawing firewood. I chuckled as I left, turning back to head to my own room.

"So, where were you?" A rude voice asked as I closed the door to Lowe's room.

"A concert." I replied to Wilde, headed for my own quarters. I had the late watch tonight and was not interested in going up there tired.

"Any, uh, women?" Wilde said as I opened my door.

"None that you would like." I snorted before closing the door and locking it. I examined the photograph by the light of my lamp. Annastasia was captured perfectly, her blond hair gathered around her shoulders and her face radiated joy and love. My face was softened, the hand on her shoulder covering it carefully. If you looked at it you would have thought the two people in the photograph were recently married and in the throes of love. I clasped the watch to my chest, turned the lamp off and fell asleep with the watch in my hand.


	10. Annastasia 7

"Your conduct was impeccable today." Mother announced as she drew my corset even tighter. I grabbed onto the bed frame in my room and braced myself as she pulled on the strings. My dress for that night was laid out on the bed, a beautiful blue dress that was trimmed with white ermine fur along the hem with a matching ermine muff. Mother was wearing a dress with a similar design but in a red fabric with black fur along it.

"Thank you Mother." I responded, clutching my ribs. As soon as we were both dressed, complete with a large sapphire for me and a ruby hair pin for Mother, Father escorted us down to the First Class Dining Saloon. Simpering girls and strutting men were everywhere, jewels and precious metal on all of them. We adjourned immediately to a table that ran almost the length of the room. Mrs. DeWitt Bukater sat across from Mother and Colonel Gracie from Father. The space across from me, which should have been occupied by Rose, was empty. A menu of the meal tonight was laid out on the plate, written in elaborate calligraphy.

**_First Course_**

_Hors D'Oeuvres_  
_Oysters_

**_Second Course_**

_Consommé Olga_  
_Cream of Barley_

**_Third Course_**

_Poached Salmon with Mousseline Sauce, Cucumbers_

**_Fourth Course_**

_Filet Mignons Lili_  
_Sauté of Chicken, Lyonnaise_  
_Vegetable Marrow Farci_

**_Fifth Course_**

_Lamb, Mint Sauce_  
_Roast Duckling, Apple Sauce_  
_Sirloin of Beef, Chateau Potatoes_  
_Green Pea_  
_Creamed Carrots_  
_Boiled Rice_  
_Parmentier & Boiled New Potatoes_

**_Sixth Course_**

_Punch Romaine_

**_Seventh Course_**

_Roast Squab & Cress_

**_Eighth Course_**

_Cold Asparagus Vinaigrette_

**_Ninth Course_**

_Pate de Foie Gras_  
_Celery_

**_Tenth Course_**

_Waldorf Pudding_  
_Peaches in Chartreuse Jelly_  
_Chocolate & Vanilla Éclairs_  
_French Ice Cream_

Quite an extravagant meal, I would have to eat like a bird to get through it all. Waiters circled through the tables, depositing dishes. Caledon Hockley, his ever present valet absent, immediately began to slurp on the oysters. I picked a few Hor D'Oeuvres, sampling several kinds. They were all wonderful, delicious vegetables and cheeses. Conversation flowed like a brook, much babbling and very shallow. The next course was served with a flourish, a delightful scallop soup. Once I reached down into the broth though the delightful tenderness of veal came through.

"We must see if we can get our cooks to make these dishes, they are quite exquisite." Mrs. DeWitt Bukater insisted, going so far as to request recipes from a waiter. He panicked and just told her that she would need to speak to the head chef, seemingly satisfied she turned from him and was surprised by the next course. The salmon was cooked beautifully but I only ate a few morsels. Something was disturbing me; the feeling from my tea with Will was back. I barely had room for the steak that followed it and the lamb after that.

After all that heavy food they set out champagne flutes full of punch. It was a delicious mix of orange juice, lemon juice and white wine in the champagne. I passed on the squab, really a pigeon. It still looked far too alive for me to eat it. The asparagus had a delightful flavor, but I was already feeling like I would explode from all of this food. I barely looked at the foie gras, but Hockley ate it by the shovelful. Desert was wonderful; I had the ice cream and enjoyed the sweetness immensely. The meal went on in a rapid fashion; it seemed rapid although I know that it probably took a very long time.

"Mother, I beg your pardon. But I must retire, I am very tired." I told her, a perfect excuse for leaving the table. Truth be told though, there was nothing I wanted more than sleep. I managed to divest myself of both dress and corset and wrap up in a nightgown before my eyes closed. I have no idea how long I slept but a shudder awoke me. It was if the ship had chills, shaking from top to bottom. A glass containing flowers that had been perched on my vanity shattered as it hit the floor. The shudder was even more ominous by the silence that followed. The propellers had stopped. I grabbed a dressing gown and exited our rooms. A steward was walking down the halls.

"Excuse me, sir. Why have we stopped?" I questioned him. His face seemed slightly creased with worry but his voice was clear as he answered.

"It's nothing miss. Just likely thrown a propeller blade, shouldn't offset our arrival time in New York." He answered before moving down the hallway. After checking the hallway up and down for any real signs of panic I stepped back into my room. Mother and Father still hadn't returned, more than likely enjoying gossip and music to excess. I walked out to our private Promenade, sighing as I looked out the window. The ocean was flat, no waves breaking or even forming. A massive chunk of ice floated, moving away from us. A dark spot stood out, deep black against the white of the ice. _That couldn't be from us could it? We shouldn't have hit that. Moody, Lightoller or Will wouldn't let us hit the ice. Agh, why am I worried? I'm on the unsinkable ship._

"Annastasia!" I heard a voice yell. Will was standing there, his hat knocked askew and his face pale. I came in from the Promenade, shutting the door behind me.

"Will! What is it?" I asked, before he grabbed me and crushed me to his chest.

"It'll be fine, I'll make it fine." He whispered, more for him than for me. I pushed myself away and looked up at him. His eyes were distraught as he began to speak again. "Get something warm on, here I'll help. And your life belt." He pulled me along behind him, headed for my room.

"Will! Stop!" I commanded, pulling away. _He's gone insane_. "What's going on?"

"I've doomed us all, that's what! There was a berg. She wouldn't turn! We struck along the starboard bow. You're going to die unless I get you off this ship, and I don't intend for that to happen." He yelled, looking mad enough to tear his hair out. I breezed by him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Will, _Titanic _can't sink. Right?" I asked, my voice quavering.

"Any ship can sink. Calling _Titanic _unsinkable was a slap in the face to God, the powers above, life, whatever you want to call it. Life couldn't be stopped and it found a way to stop us!" He grabbed me by my shoulders and kissed me. This was urgent and grasping, a kiss that wanted to last forever and not be parted.

"Then we have no time to waste, help me get dressed." I said as I lifted the dress from dinner out of the trunk where I had put it. I pulled it over my nightgown, forgoing the corset all together. Will's fingers shivered as he laced up the back of the dress. The cold coming off his hands chilled me. He reached under the bed and pulled out a white vest, which he strapped on over my dress before wrapping the dressing gown back around me. I reached under my pillow, pulled out his handkerchief and tucked it into my dressing gown pocket.

"You'll need these, it's far colder out there than I've experienced." He whispered, wrapping not only one fur coat but two around me. I shuddered myself, feeling small in the fabric. My muff he placed over my arm, the white fabric stark against his blue officer's coat. We slowly made our way to the sitting room, trying to make the most of our time together.

"Will, is all this real?" I asked, leaning into him.

"The sinking?"

"No, our relationship. I just can't believe how attached I am to you, and it's only been a few days."

"Annastasia, look at me. Remember what I told you yesterday? I love you, and no matter how far we are, I always will." He said, crushing his lips to mine. I wound my hands around his neck trying to hold onto him. I might not see him ever again. Not after what was happening now. It was well known that when a ship sunk the officers were usually the first to die. Damn male honor, why couldn't they be cowards and live?

"Get away from her young man!" A shrill voice shouted, the door having been thrown open. Mother stood there with Father right behind, her mouth open in shock. Father was slowly turning red, looking mad enough to tear down walls.

"Mother, please. You have to understand-" I begged, breaking away from Will.

"We have struck an iceberg; the whole ship is going down." Will told them, holding me even closer. "I aim to get your daughter off this ship if it's the last thing I am able to do." His voice had calmed significantly, but his hands tightened their grip.

"We know, the stewards are running through the ship, thrusting these vile things at us." Mother held up a life belt that I hadn't seen she was holding. She looked as if she might cry herself.

"Get them on, and get up to the Boat Deck, or stay on this deck. They're starting to lower the life boats." He told her, marching past them with me at his side. Father looked after him, his lips thinning. Murdoch left me for a second, held a hurried conversation with Father, but then returned and had us set out at a rapid pace

"Annastasia, get yourself out of here." He called, his voice already fading as Murdoch turned a corner. I could barely keep up with Will, and then he began to talk quickly.

"I've got to be loading my own boats, find Moody and tell him that he is to stay with you no matter what. Get into one of Lowe's boats, you remember Lowe correct?" He asked, turning on me.

"Y-yes, I do." I breathed, thinking of the kindly man from last night. I stumbled a little as the floor swayed, gaining an incline like a hill. Will sensed the urgency and pulled me outside, the sound of escaping steam whistling through the air. There was chaos as women and children, crying and keening like any mourners, were loaded into the boats. I lost Will in the crowd, looking for him.

"Will!" I screamed over and over, looking for him. He had disappeared and I was all alone, no one to help. _Find Moody, that's what he told you. Find Moody._ I pressed my way through the crowd, searching for any sign of blue coats. I ran smack into the back of one as he turned around.

"Missy! Come on now, let's get you loaded up." A familiar voice said, pulling me away from him. Moody stood there with a tense expression on his face.

"Will, he said to tell you that you have to stay with me, no matter what!" I shouted, startling him. "No matter what!"

"Then let's get the both of us in a boat shall we?" He asked, steering me across the deck. I glimpsed Lowe standing there, in front of a set of davits, his arms moving slowly to tell the crew men when to lower. A rocket crackled above, lending a further sense of emergency to the affairs that were happening on deck. A crazed looking man broke through the line of people waiting to get in, shouting like a madman.

"There is no time to waste! Lower away! Lower away! Lower away!" He shouted, trying to get the men to go faster.

"Get out of the way, you fool!" Lowe yelled, jerking the man back into the crush of passengers.

"Do you know who I am?" The man responded, showing off a pair of mustaches that could only belong to one person on this ship.

"You're a passenger. And I'm a ship's bloody officer. Now do what you're told!" Lowe told him before marching back to the lines. "Steady men! Stand by the falls!" Ismay slowly backed away, leaving the group of people desperate to be saved. When Lowe began to load the next boat Moody stepped forward. I trailed behind him, the shock still affecting me.

"Lowe, I need to get on with her." Moody told him, shaking slightly.

"But there's to be no men loaded yet." Lowe countered.

"Would you expect these women to sail themselves? Let me on to get them safely away." Moody retorted, stepping into the boat. Lowe stood there gasping for a second before I approached him.

"Mr. Lowe, please. Will told him to stay with me." I whispered, feeling tears begin to leak down my face.

"Alright, miss. Please step aboard." He repeated with absolutely no emotion, handing me down to Moody. I saw Mrs. Brown and Mrs. DeWitt Bukater, joined by Rose, step down. They were dressed in their best, but nothing seemed to take away the sheer loneliness I felt. The little wooden boat rocked as it was lowered away. When we passed by B Deck Rose suddenly jumped from the bat and back onto the ship. Mrs. DeWitt Bukater reached for her but the boat was already reaching the water and settling down.

"No! Stop, we have to get Rose!" Mrs. DeWitt Bukater shrieked, grabbing at the cold metal of the ship.

"Ruth, honey, we can't go back." Mrs. Brown said, pulling her back to her seat.

Oars were passed out, Moody and I on one, Mrs. Brown on one and Mrs. DeWitt Bukater on another. I stared back up at the deck, searching for one face among the multitudes. I caught sight of a blue coat, peaked hat and a pale face staring out over the water. It could have been any officer, but I still swear to myself it was Murdoch. I tentatively touched the handkerchief has we began to row away from the dying _Titanic_ and the man I loved, both the ship and him doomed.


	11. Annastasia 8

**Can you guys leave some reviews plase? I really want to hear your opinions. Oh and, GO US SOCER TEAM!**

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_It's a dream, come morning I'll wake up and be safe and warm in my bed. I'll attend balls at home and bring Murdoch with me. We'll both be together, no one will care. Life will be better; I'll have a man that loves me._

_Mother won't bother us, we'll have a nice house in a quiet area of the city, we'll get married in a beautiful ceremony. It will be wonderful._

**_Snap out of it!_**

A terrifying scream pierced the night, ripping me out of my thoughts. The shriek reminded me that what was happening was unfortunately, very, _very_, real._ Titanic _was sinking. The majority of the people on board were going to die and Will, brave yet stupid, foolish, loving, caring Will had put me in a lifeboat to live while he died in the freezing Atlantic night. Moody sat by me, knowing that he would have died to if Will hadn't saved us. Damn Will's stupid male pride and honor! Damn all of that! Why couldn't he come with me? He felt confident enough to send Moody but he wouldn't come himself!

"The LORD is my sheppard." The sharp whisper of a prayer startled me. A young woman in our boat was slowly rubbing a silver crucifix in her hands, her lips moving slowly. I turned from her back to the ship, unable to break away from the tragic sight. Water lapped up onto the _Titanic_, the lights from the rooms already flooded turning the water to an electric blue, the color of lightning. People, small figures from how far away we were, ran screaming to the stern which was slowly rising out of the water as the bow went down. I strained to find Will in the rush, but the swirl of color, red, green, yellow and every shade in between became nauseating but they were all accompanied by the singularly terrifying white life belt. The failing promise of safety, the promise that you would float and freeze to death slowly instead of a quick drowning.

"I shall not want." The lady kept praying, her whitish blond hair falling into her face, even as the boat sunk lower and lower. The harsh Atlantic strained at the first funnel. A loud snapping noise stabbed the silence. _So familiar, like the _New York_ but a thousand times worse. It seems a life time ago that we left South Hampton_. The funnel fell with a massive groan as it settled down into the water, the cables that had held it trailing like lifeless limbs. As the funnel reached the water it crushed dozens of people who had been trying to swim to the barely loaded lifeboats. A whole swath of lives, gone in an instant. Their bodies crushed and dragged under the freezing water. I should have gasped but it was as if I had lost all control of my body.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures." The young woman never stopped, even as the stern rose higher and higher. I could see _Titanic_'s three screws silhouetted in the night, reaching up to the stars and straining to reach the moon. Wails rose from the boats, crying for husbands, children and friends. Through the cries I was able to hear the warble of a chamber orchestra. The sound instilled a sense of calm in me, but I still reached over and gripped Moody's arm to remind myself that I wasn't alone. He shivered, but placed a comforting gloved hand on mine.

"He leads me beside quiet waters." The woman carried on even as small geysers of white water shot up, people jumping off the ship. Ruth gasped, cradling her head in her hands. She closed her eyes, refusing to watch the events unfolding before her. Mrs. Brown sat still in shock, her eyes blinking rarely. Droplet of seawater, rather large, sprayed up and hit me. I did not move as Moody reached over and dried my cheek with his sleeve. The damp skin burned cold against my flushed face. _Like what Will had done back on the first night, Will . . ._

"He restores my soul." The second funnel fell, sending up more white water and taking out a whole crowd of swimmers. Screams, the music gone, the musicians most likely dead or dying, overtook the night in a symphony of suffering.

"He guides me in the path of righteousness for his name's sake." The prayer continued, unrelenting in its continuation. Even as the stern rose higher and higher, she kept on. I hesitated to join her as the electric lights aboard the ship suddenly flashed, illuminating the world brightly and then plunging us into darkness.

"God almighty." Mrs. Brown breathed, before she lent her voice to the prayer. I held my head high and joined them, accompanied by Moody. His voice was deeper than I remember as we spoke aloud.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil." Our little group rang strong, but were drowned out as the sound of metal ripping, tearing, bending, snapping and shredding exploded through the cold Atlantic night. Tears, hot against my face, forced their way out as people fell, shrieking and clawing into the ocean. There were people still on the remaining sections that were out of the water. People screamed, begging for death, life, God, even their Mother.

"For you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me." The stern of _Titanic _bobbed like a cork, people still clinging to the railing. Water, turned white by the air bubbling out of the remaining piece of the _Titanic_, roared as the stern began to sink. People, sensing that the downward motion of the stern had increased, began to jump off. Their bodies were pale in the moon light as they hit the water.

"You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." The stern went down slowly at first, but built speed. The black paint indistinguishable from the ocean. The white of the railing stood in a stark contrast to the ebony night as the remains of the once great ship were pulled under. The foot high golden letters let the whole world know the name of the ship that was dying, _Titanic_. As if in a last salute to the world the White Star Line pennant unfurled and waved briefly in air coming off the water or being forced out of the ship, a last salute to the world before being claimed by the inky waters of the Atlantic. The noise, so present a few moments ago, now disappeared into a complete and utter silence that wouldn't last more than a few minutes.

"Surely goodness and love will follow me, all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." The prayer ended as the pitiful cried of the dying and the damned took over. _How can goodness and love still exist when death surrounds us? Is it even possible for me to be happy ever again? Especially if Murdoch is gone, which is more than likely, my life would be terrible. If he's gone, I may never move on._

"Shouldn't we help them?" Mrs. Brown asked, turning to the crewman on the tiller of our small boat.

"We can't help them, they'll swamp us and we'll all die." He shook his head fiercely as he answered.

"PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! SAVE MY CHILD!" I heard a mother scream, hoisting her baby above her head. No one moved, I gripped the oar and let my grip loosen. Margaret looked about as frustrated as me as she glared at all the others in the boat.

"Cowards! You claim to be honorable but you're nothing but cowards!" She yelled. The people swimming in the water called out for help, their voices ever apparent in the crisp night air. Moody shook, his arm moving under mine.

"Mr. Moody, can't you do something?" I begged, looking at the water. He didn't respond, just staring at the bottom of the boat. The screams, the screams will haunt me to my very last day. The screams of the dying, the screams of the dead. Those will stay with me, along with my regret for not forcing the crewman on the tiller to take us into the field of bodies. After about ten minutes I stood up and fixed the crewman with a glare.

"Take us in there. We've waited far too long." I growled, joined in my protest by Mrs. Brown.

"No! Sit down m'am, and stay quiet." The crewman retorted, glaring at me from his seat. His breath steamed in the cold air, little puffs of white against the darkness. My face flushed with anger at the sheer stubbornness of this man. Moody looked up at me, his eyes moist as he listened to the dying people.

"We are going in there or I will personally throw you off this boat right now." She ordered, causing the man to pale. But soon enough, after a good deal of trying to get our rhythm right and a few more threats at the crew member, we were plying our way toward the floating dead. The oars made us look like a water spider as we moved through the field. After the first few times our boat struck bodies we sent Moody and a man that had claimed a spot up to the front to push the bodies away. The first few times we had found someone though, they were dead already. It was a field of white, the white life belts and the white of the frozen water. The pale skin and lank hair, terrible signs that we were far too late to save anyone. The people around us floated like buoys, minus the ringing bell.

"Look! There might be survivors on that." The woman who had been praying finally spoke up, pointing to a dark shape. Moody, who had pulled a flashlight from his coat, shone it over the water to reveal a collapsible lifeboat covered in bodies. After a small bit of tricky maneuvering we had pulled up alongside. Moody and the man pulled off people, each time checking for a heartbeat that was never there. I sat and watched as the pile of bodies on the boat grew smaller and smaller as they were pitched over the side into the cold water. A stewardess, her dress frozen was tossed aside, her pale face unmoving. Finally, only a few bodies were left frozen to the boat.

_Oh no, please God. No . . . _

My heart stopped when I caught sight of a blue officer's coat on the last layer of bodies clinging to the small keel of the canvas lifeboat. Moody and the other man reached over and pulled the officer up, feeling for any warmth and searching for signs of life. A flurry of activity took over in the front and the officer was passed back. A woman, with his arm slung over her shoulder, stepped over several rows until she saw me. My chest tightened, my breath stopped until he was deposited next to me. I placed a gloved hand on his pale, damp cheek. I anxiously searched his face, rewarded by the knowledge that it was _him_.

It was Murdoch.


	12. Murdoch 4

It was dreadful cold, standing outside the Bridge with the Captain. At least he had a glass of lemon tea that steamed in the night; I was left to rub my hands together. Smith clinked his spoon against his tea cup before looking out to the ocean. Lightoller, who was next to him and next on watch started at the sudden noise.

"Clear." He remarked, stepping up beside him.

"Yes." Smith answered simply.

"I don't think I've ever seen such a flat calm." Lightoller said, causing me to watch the ocean, flat as a lake. I had never been one to trust the weather, the flat ocean making me think that our voyage was ill fated. Father Neptune can be right steamed by people boasting that they have bested him.

"Yes, like a mill pond. Not a breath of wind." Smith, on the other hand, did not seem to share my sentiments as he answered happily.

"It's make the bergs harder to see, what with no breaking water at the base." Lightoller told him nervously. We had already received several ice warnings today and a few breaking waves would have been a welcome sight. They would wear the icebergs down to where they posed no threat to the ship.

"Mmmmm. Well, I'm off. Maintain speed and heading, Mr. Murdoch. And don't go chasing that girl." Smith warned, turning to head back to his cabin and admonishing me on his way. I bit my lip; I _had _been hoping to pass off the watch for a few minutes to find Annastasia. I ran my hand over the small velvet box that had never left my pocket, wondering if anyone could see it.

"Yes sir." I replied regretfully. Smith looked back at me, a small smile on his face.

"And wake me, of course, if anything becomes in the slightest degree doubtful." He said as he entered his cabin. I went back to my cabin and slept for a few more hours before my watch came. Moody, several crewmen, and I were all that were left in the Bridge. A usual watch, enough officers to make informed decisions. I walked out, looking down on the deck. Two breathless teenagers had just walked out, laughing outrageously. I smiled down at them, thinking of the unfortunate age difference between Annastasia and I. _Eight years, roughly. She doesn't look any older than twenty-one, while you're approaching thirty!_

"I'm getting off with you Jack." I heard a slight wisp of their conversation blown up on the air. They kissed, passionately if I might add. I thought happily of Annastasia, picturing her in my arms. I jumped as the lookout bell rang three times. _What the hell could that be?_ The tolls had barely ceased when Moody stuck his head out of the Bridge.

"Iceberg right ahead!" He yelled, ducking back in. I scrambled after him, finally glimpsing the looming leviathan in the way of the bow. _Think Will! Have it hit the bow plates and lose everything, and everyone, in the bow or try and avoid it?_

"Hard a'starboard!" I screamed, motioning for Hitchens to send the engines into full astern. The Quartermaster sprang into action, throwing all the annunciators back. I went back to my spot outside, watching, hoping, and praying that we would miss the berg.

"The helm is hard over sir." Moody called anxiously. I watched, as the berg grew larger and larger, the bow never turning.

"Come on . . . come on . . . turn . . . turn!" I hissed, grabbing onto the railing with all my might. Slowly, ever so agonizingly slowly, the bow turned. First one degree, then another, it's not enough! With a loud crunch, the bow struck as huge chunks of ice rained down on the Boat Deck. The two people that had been on deck jumped backwards to avoid being crushed. I turned back to Moody.

"Hard a'port!" I ordered, sending them back into movement one again. The whole ship vibrated, not like the gentle motion of the propellers, but the angry tremor of an earthquake. I moved into the Bridge, aiming for the watertight doors. _That ought to save us. Just need to close them. _I threw the switch, sending the lights on the small map of the ship on as each door closed. I gulped; I had just sentenced most of the engine crew to death. _My fault! I killed them! Their families, torn apart. Murderer! That's what I am! Not some respectable sailor but a murderer!_

"Note the time. Enter it in the log." I ordered, lifting my hat and running my fingers through my hair. _I just ran the biggest, most luxurious ship ever built into an iceberg on her maiden voyage. _Moody, trying to get control of himself, nodded and shakily picked up a pen and noted the time. 11:40 pm, April 15, 1912.

"What was that, Mr. Murdoch?" Smith demanded as he came back in, tucking his shirt back in and throwing on his jacket. I worked my jar several times, trying to get my voice back.

"An iceberg, sir. I put her hard a' starboard and run the engines full astern, but it was too close. I tried to port around it, but she hit . . . and I . . ." I hung my head in shame; a common criminal was all that I was now.

"Close the emergency doors." Smith ordered, thinking to try and save the ship.

"The doors are closed." I told him. Smith grimaced, then turned to look out the starboard side of the ship. He turned, looking to Boxhall who had emerged from his cabin.

"Find the Carpenter and get him to sound the ship." Smith had paled, gnawing on his cheek. If he was calling for the Carpenter, then it was certainly bad. Boxhall turned and ran off, descending into the hold. Smith tugged me behind him as we both followed him. We walked along several First Class hallways, coming to a stop outside Mr. Andrews' room. I was left to the side as both he and Smith began to converse.

"A five degree list in less than ten minutes." Smith told him, both of them pale. The Carpenter, John Hutchins, burst in.

"She's taking water in fast... in the forepeak tank and the four forward holds . . . in boiler room six." He said, looking from Andrews to Smith. _We're doomed! That's five holds!_ Both Smith and Andrews had the same thought.

"Sir, permission to leave for a moment?" I asked, running my hands though my hair after I had removed my hat. Smith barely glanced over.

"Later, head to the chartroom and prepare it for us." He ordered, leaving with Andrews and Hutchins following him. The list, ever so slight, was all to present to me as I made my way through the ship. I arrived at the chart room and threw down a blueprint of the ship and pulled up several chairs to the chart table. _Annastasia! I need to warn her, need to get to her! _I took a deep, calming breath, trying to find the stoicism that Smith possessed. Anew minutes later, after a slight increase to the list, Smith and Andrews entered. Mr. Ismay stalked in behind them, frustration clear on his face.

"When can we get underway, do you think?" He asked, furious at the two of them. Smith ignored him, turning back to Andrews.

"Water 14 feet above the keel in ten minutes... in the forepeak... in all three holds... and in boiler room six." Andrews pointed to the five compartments that he listed, stabbing them each time.

"That's right." Smith affirmed, his voice calm.

"Five compartments. She can stay afloat with the first four compartments breached. But not five. Not five. As she goes down by the head the water will spill over the tops of the bulkheads... at E Deck... from one to the next... back and back. There's no stopping it." Andrews explained this all with a slight tremor to his voice. _Your fault! She's sinking, and it's all your fault!_

"The pumps-" Smith interjected, thinking off a way to save us. Mr. Andrews shot that right down.

"The pumps buy you time... but minutes only. From this moment, no matter what we do, _Titanic _will founder." Andrews breathed, accepting the inevitable.

"But this ship can't sink!" Ismay exploded, thrusting himself between the two of them.

"She is made of iron, sir. I assure you, she can. And she will. It is a mathematical certainty." Andrews responded, declaring what no one wanted to say.

"H-how much time?" Smith breathed, trying to maintain control of himself as the list increased ever so slightly.

"An hour, two at most." Andrews shrugged, seemingly nonchalant about the whole ordeal. Ismay turned, muttering to himself as he walked away.

"And how many aboard, Mr. Murdoch?" Smith gulped, his eyes narrowed.

"Two thousand two hundred souls aboard, sir." I answered. _And only one that care about._

"I believe you may get your headlines Mr. Ismay." Smith called after the White Star Line owner.

"Sir, if I may, I will go prepare the boats." I offered, then was casually dismissed by a wave from Smith. I took off before he could change his mind, climbing to B Deck with an intense speed. _Have to find her! Have to get her off! What room was she in, B . . . B52? No it was an odd number, B51! That's it! _I took off down the corridor, passing several passengers who huffed at me as I ran by. My hand shook as I reached into my coat pocket, searching for the master key that all officers were given as a regulation. I jammed the key into the lock and twisted. The door swung open, revealing the highly luxurious sitting room.

"Annastasia!" I called, searching for her. My heart beat faster until I noticed a flurry of movement from the private Promenade. Annastasia walked in, a wispy nightgown blowing in a slight breeze.

"Will! What is it?" She asked, before I grabbed her and embraced her. She hesitated for a second but melted in my arms and wrapped herself around me. I held her close, silently begging whatever deity there was out there to let us remain this way.

"It'll be fine, I'll make it fine." I whispered, running one of my hands up behind her head to hold her close. _Will, you can't hold her forever. You need to get her in a boat, and into some warmer clothes. You may like the nightgown but it's not going to keep her very warm. _"Get something warm on, here I'll help. And your life belt."

"Will! Stop! What's going on?" She asked, jerking away from me. A furrow had appeared between her brown eyes and she had placed her hands on her hips. _Remember the way she looks right now, you may never see her again. She's so beautiful._

"I've doomed us all, that's what! There was a berg. She wouldn't turn! We struck along the starboard bow. You're going to die unless I get you off this ship, and I don't intend for that to happen." It all came out, my shame and my fear. I felt a comforting hand placed on my shoulder.

"Will, _Titanic _can't sink. Right?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"Any ship can sink. Calling _Titanic _unsinkable was a slap in the face to God, the powers above, life, whatever you want to call it. Life couldn't be stopped and it found a way to stop us!" I told her, causing her to pale. I grabbed her shoulders and pressed my lips to her, anxious for more time to be together. She responded, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me closer. She broke away regretfully, turning to go into her room.

"Then we have no time to waste, help me get dressed." She said, pulling out a blue dress with a white fur trim along it. She managed to get herself into it and held her hair up as I reached for the laces of it. She gave a slight shiver when my cold hands touched her. I grabbed the life belt from under the bed, then strapped it on her. Her face was pale and her eyes were moist as I readied her. The dressing gown then went on, and I had just reached down into her trunk to retrieve two fur coats in the bottom of it when I noticed her reach under her pillow. She tucked a flash of white, my handkerchief, into her pocket. I couldn't help but smile at her.

"You'll need these, it's far colder out there than I've experienced." I said, wrapping an ermine coat around her, then a fox fur one. A muff that she had I placed on her arm, which was wrapped around mine. We walked, slowly, back to the sitting room. Annastasia stopped and leaned into me.

"Will, is all this real?" She questioned, burying herself into me.

"The sinking?"

"No, our relationship. I just can't believe how attached I am to you, and it's only been a few days." She breathed, a massive sigh that tugged at my heartstrings.

"Annastasia, look at me. Remember what I told you yesterday? I love you, and no matter how far we are, I always will." I responded, kissing her again. _No matter if you live and I die, I will always love you. I will love you for giving me the best days of my life. I will love you for risking your honor and fortune to be with me. I will love you, I DO love you._

"Get away from her young man!" A high pitched voice ordered. I pulled away sadly, turning to see her parents standing there. Her father, a bullish man, was glaring at me. I wrapped myself protectively around Annastasia, holding her close to me.

"Mother, please. You have to understand-" She took a step away from me, before I grabbed her and pulled her back so I could explain.

"We have struck an iceberg; the whole ship is going down. I aim to get your daughter off this ship if it's the last thing I am able to do." I told them proudly, placing my hands on her shoulders.

"We know, the stewards are running through the ship, thrusting these vile things at us." Her mother said, dangling a life belt from her hands. It was then I noticed her pale face, the red rings around her eyes and the way she clutched at her husband.

"Get them on, and get up to the Boat Deck, or stay on this deck. They're starting to lower the life boats." I told them, holding Annastasia by my side as I began to walk away. Her father glared at me, but then a thought occurred. _This is your last chance, if you survive and he doesn't . . . well, there go your plans of marital bliss. _I stopped, leaving Annastasia staring back at me as I approached her father.

"Sir, I know you may hate me for being with your daughter . . . but I love her. If I survive the sinking I want to marry her, and to marry her I need your permission." I breathlessly sighed, searching for any pity in the man's eyes. He gnawed on his lower lip, then fixed me with a glare that could have held a tiger in place.

"Very well, if she and you survive . . . and you swear to make her happy, never to leave her, and to love her; I give my permission and my blessing." He intoned, looking over my shoulder at Annastasia.

"Thank you sir, I swear to you I will get her off." I promised, turning around to look at her myself. She had a panicked look on her face, but her eyes only saw me. I grabbed her hand, pulling her after me as he father called after us.

"Annastasia, get yourself out of here." He said, reminding me of his blessing. _Not now Will, later! Get her to safety. _

"I've got to be loading my own boats, find Moody and tell him that he is to stay with you no matter what. Get into one of Lowe's boats, you remember Lowe correct?" I asked, holding onto her hands. Oh, how I hated to leave her!

"Y-yes, I do." She was crying slightly, which I enjoyed to think was because she was leaving me. The list increased noticeably, causing her to stumble into my arms. I opened the door onto the deck, into a huge press of crying and shrieking people. A small family tore me away from her, begging for seats in the lifeboats.

"Will!" I heard her cry, her voice faint against the panic. I tried to call back but was drowned out. I fought my way through the crowd, heading for my room. I grabbed up a piece of waxed paper and wrapped the pocket watch in it. I picked up a stray candle that had been lit and fallen onto the floor. I dribbled the wax all over the paper so the watch wouldn't get harmed by the water. Just as I stepped out I was tackled, pushed up against the wall.

"Please, sir. You have to let me on!" A man called, grabbing at my coat. I jerked back, trying to run to get to my boats. Finally I came to them, being loaded by Boxhall until he saw me and went to attend to his own. The women and children, which had started as a trickle, now came as a flood. I saw children ripped away from parents, wives from husbands, sisters from brothers. After all the wooden boats had left we turned to the canvas ones stored on top of the officer's quarters. A few crewmen up on top were putting oars at an angle so we could push the boat off of them.

"Mr. Murdoch." I heard as I ran down the side of the ship, searching for more crewmen to help get the boats down. A well dressed gentleman had come up alongside me.

"Mr. Hockley." I returned, remembering him from the first night. I spotted a couple of crewman milling around in the crowd. "YOU TWO WITH ME, NOW!"

"I'm a business man as you know and I have a business proposition for you." He told me, keeping up with me. I thrust my head over a stairwell, looking down. Water was coming up, fast.

"Where are the others?" I asked a stray crewman, trying futilely to restrain order.

"They're all aft sir!" He responded with a gesture to the stern. Hockley grabbed my coat and thrust something into my pocket.

"We have an understanding then?" He hissed. I stared before I tore away from him. _He thinks that I, William McMaster Murdoch, would accept a bribe so that he, a coward, could live? What good is money if you're dead?_ I spotted a third class woman, holding a child and crying in the crowd.

"Excuse me, miss but you'll need to come with me." I told her, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her along. Several lifeboats at the stern had yet to be launched. I lowered her into one, then tossed the money Hockley had given me at her. "Set yourself up when you get to New York." One person broke through the line, a mustache that could only belong to one person. I stared after him.

"Right and left ready!" The crewman called, signaling that the boat was ready to be lowered. I glared at Ismay. _Here's your last chance, to die a hero or to live a coward_. Ismay made no move to try and get out.

"Lower away!" I called, raising my arms to illustrate how the sides should lower. _That was your last chance, your last chance to be with Annastasia._

**_No, I will not live a coward as Ismay did. Annastasia deserves more than a coward, and as much as I want to be with her, I will not shame her by having her marry a coward. I will stay honorable._**

The order of the ship, the miniscule amount that remained, broke as the ship went down faster and faster. People fought each other, trying to get on the last boat. Panic increased as a gunshot rang out. I saw a body, in a blue coat, fall from a self inflicted shot to the head. I couldn't recognize the person as the body floated away. This was it, I was dead. I stood at the railing, gazing after the boats as they moved farther and farther away.

"Get home Annastasia, get home." I whispered, feeling tears begin to come. The blessed life I had pictured for us, the ring I had purchased, all of my dreams, gone. Water began to lap at my boots. I shifted, feeling the cold through the thick leather.

"Sir! Please sir, get on!" A voice called, close by. I looked around, searching for the person who had called. The last collapsible lifeboat had started to float away with people clinging to it by the keel. _Another chance! Go, Murdoch! There's only death left on the ship._

**_Death that is my fault. I should stay and die if only to repay my guilt._**

_Repay your guilt by living well! Go! _My mind made up I lunged out, thrashing out into the freezing water. Hands reached, grabbing onto me. My coat, soaking wet, weighed heavily but they managed to get me up. I grabbed onto the keel, refusing to let go. Several others were hauled up, including a soaking stewardess. We didn't speak, trying to forget what was happening around us. More and more people climbed up, threatening to crush us beneath their weight. I couldn't even see the end of _Titanic_, but I could hear the screams. The screams of terror and panic, death and dying all at once.

"My God, it's terrible." I heard one of the men above us say. I felt hands, clawing at my feet and trying to drag me off. I pulled my feet up, getting them away from the grasping hands. The boat tilted precariously, so that for a few moments I was up to my waist in the water. It righted itself as the people above kicked away the others. Eventually though, the movement stopped and the silence became overbearing. I just wanted to sleep. The night had worn me thin and the cold felt as if it had settled in my bones. Sleep, it would have been so nice just to close my eyes and leave all of this.

_WILL! SLEEP MEANS DEATH! LIVE, DAMN IT! _I jerked back slightly, hitting my head on the life belt of the man above me. The velvet box, which had not come out from my pocket, dug into me. A sound, the small plinking of water droplets and the heavy thunk of objects being pushed out of the way echoed through the night. A small amount of light broke through, soft and gentle moonlight. More and more came though, the weight above me diminishing as the light increased.

"Blimey, Will!" A voice cursed, strong hands gripping me and pulling me off of the boat. I sat, stunned, in the bottom of a lifeboat, looking up at a face. It took me a few moments to recognize it as Moody.

"J-James." I stuttered, my voice broken by my chattering teeth. _Moody! If he's here, then she . . . _"Wh-where is s-s-s-she?"

"Relax; she's a little farther back. God, Will, you know how scared you had her? You need to get back there, she hasn't spoken except for a prayer, she hasn't cried, she hasn't done anything!" Moody cried, pulling me to my feet. He gave a motion to one of the ladies sitting to get up and help me back. She tugged at me, but my legs wouldn't respond, so she dragged me back. She sat me down, next to a white fur clad person. I blinked, caught by a pair of deep brown eyes moist with tears. Her gloved hand touched my face, her breath steaming in the night.

Finally it all felt right, finally we were together.

Finally, I was with Annastasia.


	13. Annastasia 9

His eyelids fluttered, the blue that I loved so much showing through. He seemed confused until he fixed his gaze on me. He tried to say something but shivered so violently that he could not speak. I pulled on his soaking officer's coat and dropped in the bottom of the boat. My second fur went over him, chilling me but warming him. Moody, his seat taken, sat next to Mrs. Brown. _He's alive, he's alive, he's alive, he's alive!_

"H-h-here." Murdoch stuttered, moving his hand down to the coat and pulling something out. Wrapped in paper and wax was the pocket watch. _What does he want to show me that for?_ He pressed down on the catch popping it open. The paper had done its job, the watch was dry and the photo in it as good as it had ever been. A beautiful young woman sat with a strikingly handsome officer, on a ship that was no more.

"Will, it's perfect." I mumbled, putting it back into his hand. His hands, the dark gloves squeaking slightly, closed around it. I put my hands to the oar, repeating monotonous motion over and over. In, out, in, out. Never stopping. I looked back at the field of bodies, so many. Women, men, children, all dead. Will must have seen me look back.

"M-my fault." He said simply, taking the oar into his own hands. He looked ridiculous, rowing in a women's coat, but he refused to let me have it back. "It's the least I c-can do, after all t-this."

"Will, don't blame yourself." I told him, leaning into his side. "At least not now." I sat there; feeling Will wrap his arm around me. The other boats sat floating around us, gathered into a small group of survivors. Many were crying, most in shock, and there was not one happy face beside my own. I felt terrible, the joy in my heart unrestrained by the sadness around me._ Is it possible to be happy when so many are sad? Is it right for me to feel this way?_

"Love you." Will said, finally not stuttering. I looked up at him, his face now flushing as he grew warmer and warmer. "I see you got Moody off with you."

"Just like you told me to." I told him, watching as Lowe moved passengers back into a mainly vacated lifeboat. Looked like he had survived too. "Do you mind if I go to sleep? I'm really tired."

"Not at all, here." Will opened his arms so that I leaned on his chest. His steady, rhythmic breathing lulled me to sleep.

_The first thing I was aware of was that it was cold. Cold was all around me, wrapping me tight inside of it. I opened my eyes, looking around. I was back on _Titanic _but it wasn't the ship I knew. Linen floated, twisting and turning in the ocean water. Ghostly shades of people, coats and dresses billowing in the small currents. They looked at me with sightless eyes, seeing me but not at the same time. I saw Smith, pacing along the sea floor. An elderly man and his wife danced to the muted music of an orchestra. I closed my eyes, desperate to get away. So many dead, but I had lived! Will had lived! _

"Annastasia, darling, wake up. There's a ship." I heard Will whisper, shaking me slightly. Sure enough, just visible at the horizon was the dark outline of a steamer. People were crying again, whether it was out of happiness of sadness I did not know. _Think of it, when we dock in the city, Will might leave. He might head back to England._

"Will, when we get to the city, come with me. Don't leave." I begged, holding onto him.

"Wouldn't dream of any other way." He responded, kissing the top of my head. The ship came closer, enough for me to distinguish several details of her. She only had one funnel, was much less grand than _Titanic _had been, and I could make out her name. _Carpathia_.

"Well, God does have a sense of humor." Will chuckled, but would not explain to me what was funny no matter how many times I asked. Instead he put my coat back on me, pulled his somewhat frozen officer's coat from the floor and pulled it on. Small bits of ice flew off as he smoothed it out and adjusted his hat. Bright flashes, evidence of a camera onboard, snapped through the morning. Ropes were tossed down, the crewmen in the boats securing them so they could be hoisted up. It took them three hours, hauling other lifeboats before ours, to get up onto the _Carpathia_'s deck. I saw a group of blue coats, officers, conferring by the railing.

"Here, miss. Keep yourself warm. Here, sir." A kindly steward said, handing me a bowl of soup and a blanket and Murdoch a cup of coffee. Moody received a cup of tea when he came off. We slowly made our way toward the other officers. I saw Boxhall, Pitman and Lowe, they all brightened upon seeing us.

"Will! James! Blimey we were scared." Lowe said, clapping Will on the back before slapping Moody's.

"All of you made it?" Will asked incredulously, looking around at them.

"We're just not sure about Lightoller." Pitman told him.

"I saw him! He was looking around for more survivors." I piped up.

"So, all of us got off, except for Wilde and Smith." Will said, shoving his hands in his pockets. The whole mood darkened, all of us silent. _Why should we live when so many others died? _I knew the others were thinking similar things, several of them rubbed at their eyes.

"Please, please help me find my family! My daughter, my husband, they have to be here!" I heard a familiar voice scream. I turned around to see my mother, collapsing in the arms of Ruth DeWitt Bukater. Ruth herself had tears in her eyes. My heart hurting, I turned back to our group.

"James, Will, Harold, Joseph, Charles!" A voice called. Lightoller had stepped off of the last boat, a wide smile on his face. He embraced all of them, then bowed deeply to me. I laughed, then cursyed. We stood around for a few more minutes, enjoying the company, before a well dressed man approached us.

"Sirs, if I may have a few words with you?" He asked, pulling them away.

"Go on, I'll find you later." Will told me, kissing my forehead as he left. I stood there, watching them leave. I turned back, Ruth still holding my Mother while she cried. I walked over, then sunk to the floor by her.

"Mother, Mother, please. I'm here. It's me, Annastasia." I whispered, taking her hand. She blinked through her tears, gasping. Ruth looked over at me, her face wet from tears. She breathed rapidly before she spoke.

"Did you see Rose? Did she make it off?" She asked, grabbing a hold of my dress.

"I-I didn't see her." I stuttered, causing her to release me and fall in on herself, sobbing. She and Mother held onto each other, crying loudly. I stepped away, unsure of what to do. _Comfort or would being here just cause them more pain?_ I turned and went down the deck, gritting my teeth. I entered the ship, seeking warmth. The bowl of soup had gotten me slightly warm but what I really needed was a blanket covered bed. The rooms were all full, though. A steward directed me to a library, saying there were cots there. When I walked in though, it was full of crying people. I turned my back, shamed at my lack of sadness. I found myself tromping down the ship's deck, nowhere to go. _It's not that I'm not sad, I am! I really am. I . . . I just can't feel sad when Will came back, practically from the dead!_

"Excuse me, miss? Do you need somewhere to stay?" A voice asked, a stewardess had stepped out in front of me. I felt my eyes begin to tear up at the remembrance of the frozen bodies from the boat.

"Y-yes, I just need somewhere to lay my head." I replied, comforted as she drew an arm around me. She cooed the whole way until she took me into a small room. A small bed, a dresser and a bathroom was all there were.

"Here you are, no one will bother you here." She said, patting the bed. I sat myself down, feeling the tears that had been blocked begin to come. "Would you be needing anything else?" She asked, patting my back.

"Um, yes. If it's not a problem could you find William Murdoch? He came off the _Titanic _too." I asked, managing to hold in a sob.

"Of course, m'am. If I could just get your name?"

"Annastasia Dalian." I told her. She nodded and left, closing the door behind her. _Father, I don't think Father made it._ I began to sob, holding my head in my hands and crying with all I had. I was ashamed of myself for being happy for Will, upset that I couldn't comfort Mother, and grief stricken because Father died. So many had died . . . A whole field of people, frozen, drowned, all of them dead.

"Annastasia, come here. Here, now, I'm here." Will had burst in, closed the door softly and had pulled me to him like the first night. He pulled me back, lying down and holding me to his chest. "Come now, shhh. It's fine. It's fine." He held me to his chest so that my tears fell onto him.

"It's just n-n-not fair!" I cried, holding onto him.

"I know, I know. Shhh . . ." He cooed, placing a hand on my back. It felt terrible, my body racked by sobs so hard that I shook. Will was wonderful though, talking, joking, calming me the whole time.

"Don't leave me tonight." I begged, "Don't leave."

"I won't, here let's sit up for a moment." He said. Will sat up, holding me close to him still. "Now, I asked your father before . . . before . . . I asked him for his blessing. I just can't stand to see you so sad. I have nothing to bring you besides my name, which may well be worthless now, and my love, which will never fade. Annastasia, I love you with all of my heart. Will you marry me?" He asked, taking my hand while deftly pulling out a water stained velvet box. He opened it to reveal a sapphire adorned silver band.

"Will . . . Will!" I gasped, gazing at the ring. I had begun to cry when he mentioned Father, but my mind could only see the ring. "Yes, yes! Will! Yes!" I cried, flinging myself at him and forcing us back onto the bed. Will had tears in his eyes too as he fixed the ring onto my finger. I couldn't decide if the tears in my eyes were due to sadness or happiness, but they wouldn't stop. Finally, when all my energy had been spent crying, I collapsed onto him and fell asleep in his arms.


	14. Annastasia 10

During the night we were awakened by a steward. He seemed to feel a little awkward finding both of us in bed together, but stuttered out that the _Carpathia _would be docking in New York soon. Murdoch dismissed him before rolling out of bed. He gently lifted me and set me on my feet. Gingerly he reached around and removed my life belt, hiding it under the coats and muff. His coat, which he had removed last night, had dried and he slipped it on. We stepped out of the cabin, into a drizzling rain. It was as if God himself knew and was crying himself.

"Here you are sir, if I can just take both your names?" A crewman said, passing an umbrella to Will. He held it over both of us, keeping us dry.

"Annastasia Dalian." I told him.

"William McMaster Murdoch." Will answered, turning both of us away. The _Carpathia _slowly made her way past the Statue of Liberty, lit up against the night like the Lighthouse of Alexandria. Many stared up at the lady, thinking. _She's supposed to be a symbol of freedom, what good is freedom if you are dead or if you have lost everyone you care about? _

"Excuse me, sir, but you were a _Titanic _officer correct?" A new crewman asked, his head cocked slightly.

"Yes." Will answered simply.

"Well, we are dropping the lifeboats at Pier 59 and White Star Line asked if the officers would enter their office for a moment." He replied, his face frowning.

"Very well, I'll be there in a moment." He said, turning to me. "Captain Rostron said that _Carpathia _will dock to let off passengers at Pier 54, I'll get off with you. Just wait for me to come back after this."

"Of course, Will. I know you still have things to do with White Star." I told him, pressing my lips to his cheek. "Kiss for good luck." Will smiled, handed me the coats, then turned to follow the crewman as he led him away. Shortly after, the engines stopped and _Carpathia _floated silently in the night. Most of the passengers were still milling around, crying into handkerchiefs and shawls. I passed by a pale young woman, wrapped in a tartan blanket.

"Rose?" I breathed, catching sight of her face.

"No." The girl responded in Rose's voice. _If she doesn't want everyone to know she lived, that is fine with me. _I moved away from her, watching the crews lower the boats delicately. Lights were on in a small building on the dock, somber faced men inside. I could see Murdoch, Lowe, Lightoller, Boxhall, Moody, and Pitman standing sternly in front of them. I turned my eyes back to the boats, watching as like white ghosts they made their way onto the pier. I guess, they were a type of ghost. They were all that remained of the once great ship . . . all that was left besides memories.

"Miss, if you could step back please, we're about to head for the dock where you may disembark." A new voice said, I turned to find one of the _Carpathia_'s officers standing by me.

"In a moment, sir. I am waiting for an officer of the _Titanic_ to return from the offices." I growled, swiveling to look back at the office. The officers were leaving, marching through the rain back to the ship. "It won't be long, they're coming now."

"Very well, m'am." The officer responded before leaving. I stood there, gripping the umbrella even tighter. I felt an arm slide around my waist, and raised the umbrella higher. Will stood there, his face marked by rain and tears.

"Will, what did they ask you?" I questioned, trying to wipe his face dry. The ring glittered coldly on my finger as I touched his face.

"There's to be an . . . inquiry into the sinking. None of us can leave until the inquiry is over. I was hoping to head for Dalbeattie to introduce you to my parents, but we won't be able to leave for a month or two. In addition, I am to be interrogated as a witness to the sinking. It seems . . . it seems that it will be quite a long time until we are able to be together in peace. I'm so sorry, because of me you are going to be dragged into all of this. Because I proposed to you, you will have no peace for so long." He said, sobbing slightly.

"Will, Will . . ." I laughed, reaching up for his face. "I don't care. I don't care that we're going to be hounded every day. I just want to be with you." I told him, kissing him right on his mouth. He seemed shocked for a second, but wrapped his arms around me. After we parted we watched as the ship slowly made her way to Pier 54. A mournful crowd, gathered under dark umbrellas, stood by. Ambulances, automobiles and carriages were waiting by the road. The _Carpathia_'s slowly halted, gangplanks were set up, and passengers began to disembark. First came the _Carpathia _passengers, followed by the crew of the _Carpathia_, and then the _Titanic _survivors began to slowly move down.

"You should head down now." Will said, grimacing as the survivors were surrounded by the press. Reporters were all around, hoping to get any tidbits they could.

"No, I leave with you." I told him, enjoying his touch as he pulled me closer. After all the survivors had left our little group began to disperse. First went Moody, the most junior officer, then Lowe, Boxhall, Pitman, and Lightoller after them. He flashed us a smile before he was consumed by the massive crowd. I placed my arm on Will's and we began to make our way down. The second we had stepped off of the gangplank we were surrounded by people pushing, shouting, questioning everything we remembered. Finally, after wading through the press and crying families we reached the street. My family's carriage waited at the curb. Jonathan, our driver, stood huddled under an umbrella. A black armband rested on his shirt, marring the pristine white. I marched over to him, pity welling up for the soaking horses.

"Jonathan, will you take us home?" I asked, causing him to straighten up.

"Miss Dalian! I just knew you'd make it! Everyone's in a frenzy, your Mother took the auto back to the big house but wouldn't tell us a thing!" He cried, opening the door to the carriage. Will handed me up, then raised an eyebrow.

"I'll tell you later." I whispered, startled when Jonathan began to talk again.

"Do you have any luggage or is your father com-" He stopped mid-sentence when he saw me. I had felt tears begin to come up again, sobbed slightly. "I'll just drive you home. The house by the docks, right?" He asked, clambering up into the driver's seat.

"Y-yes." I told him, before Will shut the door. The horses had to stand for a while before there was enough space for them to pull out.

"Big house?" Will asked, sitting next to me after he had set the coats on the other side of the carriage.

"Yes, my family has more houses in the city than you could believe. Mother, apparently, has headed for her favorite. Before we left for England we recently bought a large mansion, which she furnished at quite an expense. Jonathan is taking us to a smaller home by the docks. My father always liked that one, close to the sea and close to his business." I sighed, wiping my eyes. "Wait! Jonathan, stop!" I called, noticing a familiar face outside. He was trudging through the rain but looked up as the carriage stopped beside him.

"Moody! Get in here." I called, throwing open the door. The Sixth Officer looked inside briefly before he clambered in.

"Thanks Annie." He jokingly said, tossing some water from his cap.

"Don't mention it." I told him, smiling. We rode in silence for a few moments before the carriage ground to a stop outside the house. It rose up, imposing in its seven stories with large windows and burning electric lights. As soon as Moody, Will and I had left the carriage Jonathan pulled it down an alley on the side of the property and back to the small stables behind the house. There was a flurry of activity and the door was thrown open. Peggy, our large matronly head of house, stood there. Her eyes were red and sore from crying, but she squealed and ran down the steps.

"Oh, Miss Dalian! We've been so worried!" She cried, throwing her arms around me.

"Ah, Peggy. It's alright. Here, look, I've brought some friends." I told her, wiggling in her grasp.

"Oh! So sorry, here come inside." Peggy said, ushering us inside the house. The big bay windows looked out onto the empty street from inside the comfortable home. Chandeliers, filled with electric lights, shed warm light on everything. Carpeted halls and dark wooden furniture filled the place, designed in the latest style. I had never reasoned why Mother did not like the place, but figured it had something to do with being so close to the docks and so far away from the other society families. Murdoch and Moody hung their coats and hats on a hat rack that was near the door. Peggy returned, carrying a tray of tea set with three cups. After she had settled us into our formal sitting room she left, closing the door carefully behind her.

"Very nice place you've got here." Moody commented, leaning back into a velvet chair.

"Isn't it? I expect you'll be staying here until the inquiry is over?" I asked, sipping the tea. Moody looked shocked, his tea stopped halfway to his mouth.

"How do you know about that?" He asked. I leaned my head toward Murdoch, sitting next to me on the couch. Will did look different without his coat on, more relaxed and it allowed me to notice his strong arms. "Ah, I forgot. You two are all like _this_ now aren't you?" Moody laughed, intertwining his fingers on the _this_. I nodded, then lifted my left hand to show him the ring.

"Get out! You two, married?" He spluttered, almost spilling his tea. Will just laughed, pulling me closer to him. I snuggled closer, but was daunted by the sound of a door opening. Peggy stood there, a young man in a suit behind her.

"Miss Dalian, there is a Sherriff Bayliss here for both Mr. Moody and Mr. Murdoch." She said, moving to let the young man in. Once he was in she closed the door. I rose and offered him a seat in a vacant chair.

"No thank you, miss. I'd prefer to stand, and, my condolences to your family." He replied before pulling out a few sheets of paper. "My business is actually with these two men, Mr. Moody, and Mr. Murdoch, here." He handed the two papers to both Moody and Murdoch. "You two are required to attend the inquiry of the United States of America into the sinking of the R.M.S _Titanic_. Please be present at the Waldorf-Astoria at 10:30 tomorrow morning. Dress appropriately." The man then turned on his heel and was let back into the rain.

"Lovely. Annie is there a bed here you don't mind me using?" Moody said, holding up the paper for a minute of inspection before yawning widely.

"Oh, yes. Peggy?" I asked to bring her back into the room, "Please show Mr. Moody to a spare room." She nodded but hesitated.

"Would Mr. Murdoch be requiring a room as well?" Peggy questioned.

"No, he will be with me tonight." I told her with a glare. She gulped and left with Moody behind her. Will looked over at me.

"With you?" He asked, sliding even closer.

"Of course, to keep nightmares away." I told him, tugging him toward the stairs to my rooms. We laughed as we climbed higher and higher until we reached the floor with my rooms. Everything here was blue or white, my favorite colors. I pulled Will in, desperate to have him help me get out of my dress. His fingers were delicate as ever as he unlaced the dress. I stepped behind an Oriental screen to get a new nightgown on. The door opened, then quickly shut while I was changing. When I emerged Will was dressed in a silk sleeping outfit, a green jacket and trouser ensemble. He sat down on the bed, watching the flames in the fireplace dance. Peggy had obviously been expecting me, even with the sinking.

"Come here, you need to sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow." He said, patting the other side of my bed.

"Yes, dear." I jokingly responded, worming my way under the blue velvet comforter and silk sheets. Will followed me, pulling my head to his chest like he had last night. I sighed, then gripped the silk of his jacket tighter. He breathed slow and steady, lulling me to sleep quickly. The last thing I remember of that night was the dark blue of the bed's canopy, the warmth of the air, and the sheer comfort of having Will by me.


	15. Murdoch 5

She was crying as she pulled my coat off and fixed hers over me. I sat there, numb from what had happened and the cold of the sea. Annastasia was pale as china and shook as she tied the coat. I so hated to see her crying. Something must cheer her up, had I showed her the picture? No, there hadn't been time.

"H-h-here." I chattered, reaching down for the pocket of my coat. She had laid it in the bottom of the boat, but I was able to reach down. With trembling fingers I pulled the waxy package and tore at it. The watch had escaped unscathed; it even worked as I pressed the clasp and opened it. Her sobbing became a chuckle as she saw the picture.

"Will, it's perfect." She said, running her fingers over the glass catch of the photograph. The life boat began to move and she lunged for the oar. It hurt me to see her row, but what hurt more was the bodies that we passed by. All of them, dead because of me. Even Annastasia looked back, sadness on her face. Regret tugged at my heart, guilt joining it.

"M-my fault." I told her, reaching for the oar. I held onto it, ignoring her grabs for it. If she got a hand on it I lightly picked it up and set it in her lap. "It's the least I c-can do, after all t-this." I said sadly, noticing more boats up ahead. We were the one of the two that had returned for others, another boat that was mainly vacant was coming back to the cluster of survivors. I saw Lowe standing in it, more crewmen behind him on the oars. Two soaking figures huddled in the back of the boat.

"Will, don't blame yourself. At least not now." She begged, a smile on her face. _How can she smile in all of this?_ Then I realized what it must have been like for her to think I was dead. No wonder she was smiling, it was as if a dead person had come back. Even the loss of hundreds of people could not keep her from being happy when I had come back for her. She leaned into me and I opened my arms around her. She dug herself into my body, ignoring the cold, wet fabric.

"Love you." I told her, kissing the top of her head. She looked up and smiled at me, the only happy person in the boat. "I see you got Moody off with you." I whispered, noticing the younger officer sitting a little away. His shoulders were hunched and it seemed like he was sleeping. I couldn't blame him; the night had taken a toll on everyone. I felt myself growing warmer though, the warmth of the coat keeping me alive.

"Just like you told me to." She whispered back, "Do you mind if I go to sleep? I'm really tired."

"Not at all, here." I told her, bringing her back to my chest. She sat there for a few moments before her breathing got heavier and her eyes closed. The night passed slowly, all of us unaware if any rescue was coming to our aid. Perhaps sleep would help the night pass faster. Just as I tried to sleep, though, Annastasia began to shiver. She whimpered slightly in her sleep and clawed her hands. It looked as if she was swimming, trying in vain to reach the surface. I ran my hand through her hair and whispered sweet nothings into her ears. She calmed though, pressing herself closer to me. The night passed slowly, ever so slowly. All the others in our boat went to sleep, tired from crying and rowing. I looked up at the stars, wheeling in their celestial sphere over all of us. I fear I must have dozed off for I was awakened by cries.

"A ship! A ship! Oh, thank you God, a ship!" A woman yelled. The cry was quickly taken up by the others.

"We're saved!"

"Merciful heaven!"

"Here! Over here!" A man yelled this, waving his arms frantically. Lowe pulled a green flare from somewhere and lit it. He waved the light slowly over his head, the green light attracting the attention of the ship. She slowly made her way towards us, the salvation we had been waiting for.

"Annastasia, darling, wake up. There's a ship." I told her, shaking her awake. She opened her eyes, sleepily looking around. She focused on the ship, and whispered something so faint that I had trouble hearing it.

"Will, when we get to the city, come with me. Don't leave."

"Wouldn't dream of any other way." I responded, kissing the top of her head. I ruffled her hair as we waited for the ship to come closer. Cranes had been put out, deck chairs being used as slings and all crewmen and stewards were out on deck. When they spotted the boats, the cranes were slowly moved back. My guess was they thought we had luggage with us. The boats were lifted up to the deck slowly. I turned around and squinted, searching for the name of the ship. _Carpathia_. If it weren't for the massive amount of death that had occurred I would have dropped into hysterics. A Cunard liner rescuing White Star Line passengers.

"Well, God does have a sense of humor." I laughed slightly. Annastasia pressed me for why I had laughed but I figured she wouldn't get it so I didn't tell her. I pulled her coat off, then handed it to her as I pulled my coat out from the bottom of the lifeboat. I pulled it back on, shivering against the slight layer of ice that had formed on it. The raising of the boats seemed to take mere minutes although when I looked at my watch it had taken more than three hours. Perhaps it was just the excitement of knowing we were going to live. We waited until our boat was securely tied and hoisted up to the deck. Stewards helped us off, passing cups and bowls of warm food and drink around.

"Here, miss. Keep yourself warm. Here, sir." One steward that was nearby said. He handed Annastasia a bowl of soup and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. I watched him jealously. He pressed a cup of coffee into my hand and thrust a cup of tea into Moody's hands. I looked around, noticing that all the survivors had grouped together in small packs. One of which had everyone in blue greatcoats. Pitman, Boxhall and Lowe were leaning over the railing, watching the lifeboats coming up. They smiled when they noticed us, several of them taking in Annastasia for a few seconds before turning to me.

"Will! James! Blimey we were scared." Lowe cried, throwing his arm around my back before slapping Moody so hard he almost spit out his tea. He cocked an eyebrow at me, looking at Annastasia.

"All of you made it?" I was amazed that almost all the officers had lived. That rarely happened. It felt good to know that all of the men who had become like family to me were alive . . . except for one.

"We're just not sure about Lightoller." Pitman voiced my thoughts aloud.

"I saw him! He was looking around for more survivors." Annastasia said, slipping her hand into mine.

"So, all of us got off, except for Wilde and Smith." I sadly commented, putting my hands into my pockets. The ring box still rested in my coat, soaked and frozen it may be, but it was still there.

"Please, please help me find my family! My daughter, my husband, they have to be here!" Annastasia grimaced upon hearing the frantic shrieking. She turned, noticed that it was her mother and sighed deeply. I put an arm around her and drew her close.

"James, Will, Harold, Joseph, Charles!" We all perked up upon hearing Lightoller's voice, glad to have the last part of our little family back. He had a huge smile plastered on his face, happy to see us. He embraced all the officers, clapping us on the back soundly. He bowed to Annastasia and she curtsied back. _I'm not _**_that _**_upset that Wilde didn't live, but I am glad we all did. Although I am sad that Smith went down with the ship, he was a good Captain._ Speaking of Captain, the _Carpathia_'s one was approaching us now.

"Sirs, if I may have a few words with you?" He asked, motioning for us to move down the deck and away from the other survivors. Annastasia paled, looking at me pleadingly.

"Go on, I'll find you later." I said, kissing the top of her forehead before turning to follow the others. The Captain finally stopped by the Bridge, turning to speak to us.

"Gentlemen, I must say that I am extremely pleased to see that you all survived." He said, "When we received word of your crash I cut all the steam to the passengers rooms, woke all the crew, put every fire stoker we had on the boilers, and made straight away for you."

"Well, Captain . . ." Lowe began, pausing for his name.

"Rostron."

"Captain Rostron let me be the first to thank you for your assistance." Lowe finished.

"I only wish that we could have been here sooner. I did everything I could, she went three knots above her top speed and we were still too late." He sighed, looking out over the small icebergs that still dotted the ocean.

"Still you saved us Captain, you saved everyone." I offered, smiling sadly. He gave a huff before turning to enter the Bridge.

"Set your heading for New York, Mr. Helmsman. We'll be docking at Pier 54, tomorrow." He ordered, evident through the walls.

"Looks like we'll make it to New York, even if it isn't on the ship we were supposed to be arriving on." Lightoller quipped, turning back to the railing. We all stood there, looking out to the ocean. Officers of a sunken ship, men without a purpose.

"So, got your girl off with you Will?" Lightoller asked.

"Yes, but I don't know if she'll take me now." I sighed, angrily taking off my cap and staring at the emblem on it. It would have been so much easier for me to court her if I hadn't sunk the damn ship. I would have had some standing in the world, instead now I only possessed my name, the small house in Southampton, and whatever money was left in my bank account. How could she ever want a man like me? Before any of the others could respond a harried stewardess came running up to me.

"Are you William Murdoch?" She asked breathlessly. I nodded, shocked by how distraught she was. "Oh, thank God. You need to come with me. Miss Annastasia Dalian, she's in an officer's cabin bawling her eyes out and asked me to get you."

"Go on Will, we'll still be here." Moody said, waving me away. I followed the stewardess along the deck until we reached a non-descript cabin, which she urgently pointed too. I opened the door, my heart aching at her cries. I stepped in then closed it softly.

"Annastasia, come here. Here, now, I'm here." I told her, pulling her to my chest. She was all out bawling, tears streaming down and sobbing so hard she started to hiccup. I ran my hands down her back, pulling her closer and closer. I slowly lay down on the bed, pulling her with me. It was incredibly improper, but she needed it. "Come now, shhh. It's fine. It's fine."

"It's just n-n-not fair!" She wailed, burying her head in my coat.

"I know, I know. Shhh . . ." I whispered, placing a soothing hand on her back. She was sobbing so hard that her whole body shook, evident even through her dress. She had shed the two coats, her dressing gown. The life belt remained, the straps too complicated for her to get off in this condition. I kept talking, joking, doing anything to try and get her to smile.

"Don't leave me tonight, don't leave." She asked, still sobbing terribly. My heart hurt, a terrible ache that would not stop.

"I won't, here let's sit up for a moment." I said, pulling her up into a sitting position. Her legs were tucked back behind her, her tear streaked face staring into mine. She hiccupped slightly, then gave a small giggle. I was out of anything to make her happy, the picture, the watch, handkerchief, plus I had told her every joke that I knew. I had only one thing left, I was so desperate to see her happy that I was already speaking before I knew what I had done.

"Now, I asked your father before . . . before . . . I asked him for his blessing. I just can't stand to see you so sad. I have nothing to bring you besides my name, which may well be worthless now, and my love, which will never fade. Annastasia, I love you with all of my heart. Will you marry me?" I said this haltingly pulling the ring box from my coat. The ring sparkled happily against the stained velvet. Not even the Atlantic could tarnish it. I had put everything out for her, told her everything that was in my heart. _Please say yes, please . . . _

"Will . . . Will!" She breathed, looking down at the ring. Her eyes were already tearing up, but she seemed so happy. I implored her with my eyes, seeking an answer. "Yes, yes! Will! Yes!" She threw herself at me, pulling us back down onto the bed. I felt tears begin to flow as I fixed the small ring onto her slim finger. Now I was the one crying, how ironic. I swiped at my eyes, then remembered that I had my full uniform on. I slipped the gloves off, then deftly unbuttoned the coat and folded it. Annastasia watched me with interest before lying back down on my chest. She was still crying, but it seemed like she was happier. Slowly she stopped crying and began to breath slower and slower, sleeping deeply. I threaded my fingers through her hair, inhaled the remaining lavender scent of her perfume, and went to sleep a happy man.

"Ah, um, excuse me sir? Please can you get up? We're docking soon, and you need to be ready to leave." A startled steward said, touching my shoulder and shaking me slightly. I groaned and waved a hand, dismissing him. I yawned, then reached for Annastasia. She was so darling when she slept, the face of an angel. I slid my arms under her and lifter her to her feet as gently as I could. Still slightly tired I fumbled with the straps of her life belt for a moment but was able to remove it. I held open the door for her, starting slightly as a few drops of rain splashed my face. The city was dark, the rain cold and constant. A somber day for a somber event.

"Here you are sir, if I can just take both your names?" A _Carpathia _crewman approached, a large book in his hands. He held a pen, poised to take our names. He extended an umbrella to me, smiling at the two of us.

"Annastasia Dalian." She said, her eyes locked on the approaching city.

"William McMaster Murdoch." I answered, twining an arm around her waist and turning her away from the crewman. I watched her as she stared at the Statue of Liberty, her eyes moist as she gazed as the oxidized metal woman.

"Excuse me, sir, but you were a _Titanic _officer correct?" A new voice asked. An officer stood there, his head cocked like a curious puppy.

"Yes." I told him.

"Well, we are dropping the lifeboats at Pier 59 and White Star Line asked if the officers would enter their office for a moment." The officer looked distressed, anxiously wringing his hands. I looked up farther, towards the docks.

"Very well, I'll be there in a moment." I said, then turned back to Annastasia. Her face was still pale as she looked up at me. "Captain Rostron said that _Carpathia _will dock to let off passengers at Pier 54, I'll get off with you. Just wait for me to come back after this." I was worried she would start to cry at being alone but she merely nodded.

"Of course, Will. I know you still have things to do with White Star." She said, then looped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "Kiss for good luck." I smiled at her, then passed the coats to her and made my way towards the area where a gangplank was being set up. The other officers all stood there, each holding an umbrella over themselves. They all smiled upon seeing me and Moody lifted his umbrella higher so I could fit under.

"So, how was Annie?" He sniggered, starting to walk down the gangplank.

"Annie?" I glared at him.

"You don't like it? I personally thought it was a great idea." He gave a self satisfied smirk as we stepped onto _terra firma_. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Moody had jokingly asked if I was sad to go to sea once again. We filed into the White Star offices like a herd of sheep on the way to slaughter. After arranging ourselves in order of rank, I looked around. The offices were bare, but filled with people. Several publicists from newspapers sat in chairs, waiting to question the employees. Clerks bustled around, nervously reading papers and checking records.

"Gentlemen, thank you for seeing us. It was terrible what happened, absolutely terrible." An older man said, coming out from an office. "Now, I want to let you know that the government is conducting an investigation-" A clerk went up and whispered something into his ear. "I'm sorry, an inquiry, into the sinking. They'll be passing around subpoenas to you later; don't be shocked that you'll be remaining here for a few months. My advice is to see the city while you're here. Catch an opera or play in the theaters."

"But sir, we have to testify for the inquiry don't we?" Lowe asked.

"Well, yes. But that's such a small matter, enjoy yourselves! On our dime, get anything you want and we'll pay for it." The man smiled, reminding me sickingly of Ismay.

"Excuse me, but hundreds of people died! Don't you think we should be concerned with making things right with their families and refunding the loss of their belongings instead of visiting theaters and shopping?" I exploded, glaring at the man. I didn't know who he was, but he obviously didn't care that people had died.

"I believe we're finished, plus the _Carpathia _is about to leave." The man growled, motioning for the door to be opened. I felt hot tears beginning to stain my cheeks at the thought of the callousness of the official.

"Excuse me, but if I could just get a word. I'm from the New York Times." One of the press reporters said, moving towards me.

"No, I need to leave." I hissed, headed for the door.

"Please, just a comment. A quote? A single word?" The man pressed. I brushed by him, headed straight into the rain. Now, not only was there the inquiry to deal with, but the endless reporters. They would pay anything to get the story from the man who had caused it. I was vaguely aware of the others following me and stamping up to the deck the _Carpathia_. I found Annastasia staring at the white hulk of the lifeboats. I wrapped my arm around her waist, gazing at her. _Because of you she will find no peace. Because you had to go all matrimonial she has to deal with all of this._

"Will, what did they ask you?" She asked, reaching up to wipe at my face. I smiled sadly at the ring on her finger, the cold metal chilling my skin slightly.

"There's to be an . . . inquiry into the sinking. None of us can leave until the inquiry is over. I was hoping to head for Dalbeattie to introduce you to my parents, but we won't be able to leave for a month or two. In addition, I am to be interrogated as a witness to the sinking. It seems . . . it seems that it will be quite a long time until we are able to be together in peace. I'm so sorry, because of me you are going to be dragged into all of this. Because I proposed to you, you will have no peace for so long." I sobbed slightly at the end, thinking of Mother and Father waiting anxiously in Dalbeattie for word that I had survived. Word that I had even gotten engaged.

"Will, Will . . ." She laughed. Actually laughed in the middle of all this. Now I remembered why I loved her so much, she was everything that I could ever want in a woman. Happy, even when she was sad, and willing to put everything aside to be happy. "I don't care. I don't care that we're going to be hounded every day. I just want to be with you." She kissed me suddenly, shocking me for a moment before I gave in and wrapped her in my arms. We stood at the railing, entwined in each other's arms as we watched the _Carpathia _dock. A huge crowd was gathered around the pier, dark umbrellas and sad faces abounding. After gangplanks had been set up the liner's original passengers and crew disembarked, followed by the survivors. The passengers went first, marching one by one down to the dock.

"You should head down now." I told her, reluctantly pulling my arm from her waist.

"No, I leave with you." She said, replacing my arm. The other officers had come to stand near us and I could distinctly hear Moody gagging behind us. I cast him an angry glare before he moved off the ship. The others descended in order of rank. Lightoller left us, smiling bravely as he was taken in by the massive crowd. Annastasia placed her arm on mine and we walked down as the last survivors of the once proud _Titanic_. Reporters surrounded us, grasping for any story they could get. The movement to the street was slow, slow enough that we could make out the cries of wives who couldn't find their husbands, mothers who had lost their children and fathers calling for sons and daughters that were no longer alive. Annastasia directed me towards a nondescript black carriage pulled by two gray horses. The driver, wearing a black armband, stood underneath an umbrella.

"Jonathan, will you take us home?" Annastasia asked, causing him to light up upon hearing her voice.

"Miss Dalian! I just knew you'd make it! Everyone's in a frenzy, your Mother took the auto back to the big house but wouldn't tell us a thing!" He exclaimed, throwing open the door to the carriage. I handed Annastasia up into the seat, then gave her a questioning look.

"I'll tell you later." She whispered, lightly touching my hand.

"Do you have any luggage or is your father com-" He began, but stopped when he saw her. Her eyes were moist and she gasped to try and keep away a sob. The driver looked abashed, moving towards the driver's seat. "I'll just drive you home. The house by the docks, right?"

"Y-yes." She stuttered, causing me to close the door tightly.

"Big house?" I asked, setting the coats on the other seat and sitting next to her.

"Yes, my family has more houses in the city than you could believe. Mother, apparently, has headed for her favorite. Before we left for England we recently bought a large mansion, which she furnished at quite an expense. Jonathan is taking us to a smaller home by the docks. My father always liked that one, close to the sea and close to his business." She responded, wiping at the tears that had begun. I joined, swiping at small ones that had escaped her notice. "Wait! Jonathan, stop!" She said suddenly, gazing out the carriage window. She threw open the door and stuck her head out.

"Moody! Get in here." She called, causing a blue coat that I had not noticed to come jogging back to us. Moody's young face smiled out from under his hat.

"Thanks Annie." He cheekily said. I grimaced at his horrid nickname but Annastasia smiled at it.

"Don't mention it." She laughed, leaning into me. I wound my hand around her waist, enjoying the feel of our small family here, together. We had defied all the odds, fought, and had made it to be here together. The carriage pulled up to a huge house, large windows lit brightly with electricity. We all exited the carriage, Moody and I gazing up at the house. It was impressive, and caused me to wonder how big the _big house _was. The door was thrown open and a woman came rushing down the steps.

"Oh, Miss Dalian! We've been so worried!" She cried, embracing Annastasia. Her eyes were red from crying and she blubbered as Annastasia patted her back.

"Ah, Peggy. It's alright. Here, look, I've brought some friends." Annastasia said, causing Peggy to break away.

"Oh! So sorry, here come inside." She sighed, wiping at her eyes. She led us into the house, holding the door open for all of us. The house was large, furnished in the latest style and decorated with tasteful trinkets and paintings. A dark wooden hat rack sat nearby. I motioned to Moody and we both hung our hats and coats up and dropped our umbrellas into a small golden holder. Annastasia lead us down a carpeted hall before opening the door to a sitting room furnished with dark wood, red velvet and golden accents. Peggy returned with a tray of tea, closing the door behind her as she left. Moody took a red velvet chair while I joined Annastasia on a plush couch.

"Very nice place you've got here." Moody complimented, leaning back and whistling.

"Isn't it? I expect you'll be staying here until the inquiry is over?" She said before sipping her tea. Moody stopped lifting his tea, his face shocked.

"How do you know about that?" He questioned. Annastasia tilted her head towards me and moved closer. I smiled and wrapped an arm around her. Moody looked from her to me, then back again before speaking again. "Ah, I forgot. You two are all like _this_ now aren't you?" He held up his intertwined fingers to symbolize how close we were. Annastasia smiled and nodded before lifting her hand to show him the ring.

"Get out! You two, married?" He exploded, almost spilling his tea onto the dark wood floor. I laughed, pulling Annastasia closer to me. She raised a hand to touch my face before she stopped, her eyes focused on the door. Suddenly she rose, dusting herself off.

"Miss Dalian, there is a Sherriff Bayliss here for both Mr. Moody and Mr. Murdoch." I heard her maid say before the door closed again. I looked up at the young man standing there. A silver star on his coat officiated him as a sheriff. He was a handsome man, his features fine and guaranteeing that he had a woman. Annastasia smiled and gestured to an empty chair.

"No thank you, miss. I'd prefer to stand, and, my condolences to your family." He replied, pulling a sheaf of paper from his vest. "My business is actually with these two men, Mr. Moody, and Mr. Murdoch, here." I grasped the paper he extended and Moody reached for the other one. "You two are required to attend the inquiry of the United States of America into the sinking of the R.M.S _Titanic_. Please be present at the Waldorf-Astoria at 10:30 tomorrow morning. Dress appropriately." The man nodded to Annastasia before leaving. I examined the paper. I skimmed the legal writing; sure enough it was a subpoena requiring us to attend. If not, well, we could get arrested.

"Lovely. Annie is there a bed here you don't mind me using?" Moody yawned, stretching his arms. I glared at him again before Annastasia spoke up.

"Oh, yes. Peggy? Please show Mr. Moody to a spare room." She asked, smiling at the woman.

"Would Mr. Murdoch be requiring a room as well?" The woman questioned kindly before Annastasia cut her off.

"No, he will be with me tonight." She growled, the general glare returning to her face.

"With you?" I asked, rising and stepping towards her. She smiled before answering.

"Of course, to keep nightmares away." She said simply, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the stairs. She laughed as I ran up the stairs with her, causing me to laugh. She stopped on the fifth floor, turning around to grab my coat and haul me into a room. It held a massive canopy bed, a burning fireplace, an Oriental screen to change behind, and a large mirror and vanity. Annastasia turned around and pulled her hair up, revealing the laces to her dress. I deftly undid the knots, then slid the dress away from her. She gave me a saucy look before prancing behind the screen to pull on a nightgown that had been slung over the top. The door opened, Peggy holding a green silk pile. She proffered them towards me, dropping them into my hands. After she had closed the door and I had check to see that Annastasia would not be coming out quite yet I hastily changed into the sleeping outfit. Just as I buttoned the last button Annastasia emerged from behind her screen, a tired smile on her face. I sat on the bed, enjoying the fire's warmth.

"Come here, you need to sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow." I said, noting how tired she looked. I patted the soft feather bed, the soft velvet ever present under my hand.

"Yes, dear." She cheekily said, lying down under the sheets. I pulled her to my chest, enjoying the way she gripped the silk shirt even tighter. I placed a hand around her, then kissed the top of her head. While tomorrow may be hectic, tonight was wonderful.


	16. Annastasia 11

"Excuse me, miss. You need to wake up if you are to get to the Waldorf-Astoria by 10:30." I heard Peggy say, lightly shaking my shoulder. I blinked, looking around for Will. The space he had occupied last night was empty. "Mr. Murdoch is eating but it will take you a lot longer than it took him to get ready."

"Alright Peggy, just let me up here." I requested, yawning widely and stretching. The curtains had been drawn back to let in the morning light. I smiled, fondly remembering last night in Will's arms. Peggy had banked the fire, set out all of underclothes and left a small bowl of fruit on the vanity. I lifted an apple and peeled it with the mother of pearl inlaid knife. I bit into the juicy fruit as Peggy unlaced my nightgown and held open the corset. I popped the rest of the apple in and stepped into the restricting corset. Peggy laced it up, not to tight but enough to give me the fashionable figure. I pulled the petticoats on myself, plunking several grapes down while I did so.

"The mourning clothes, miss?" Peggy asked, starting to walk towards my closet.

"Ah, yes. I do so hate wearing mourning." I growled, pinching the grape in my hand. Damn those restrictive, boring mourning clothes. Peggy brought out a fashionable black silk dress, hat and veil. She buttoned me into the dress, then had me sit down in front of the vanity. She offered a pair of black lace gloves that I fixed on myself while she brushed and braided my hair. I fixed the ring from Murdoch on my left hand, admiring the glow against the dark fabric.

"People won't like that, miss. They'll think you're putting on airs, think that you're not upset." Peggy warned, placing the black silk veil over my hair. It came to rest on my shoulders, causing me to look paler than usual. I fixed a black and gold onyx bracelet on my right hand, lifted a silver and jet necklace over my head and received my hat from Peggy. It was black, decorated with black ribbon and black silk roses. A fishnet black veil came down in front, obscuring my face. I skipped the rouge today, preferring to resemble a walking corpse. I tucked Will's handkerchief down my corset and followed it with an ebony, black lace fan.

"Thank you Peggy. It is rather hard to be upset though when I am so recently engaged." I said, leaving her folding my nightgown in my room. I silently reminded myself to raise her pay; she was a good friend and a good employee. I found Will sitting at the dining room table, buttering a roll. Jonathan was standing in the corner, about to light a cigarette. I gave him a glare before I turned back to Will. I had to stifle a laugh; his coat was much too small. It came only to his forearms and the buttons looked ready to pop off.

"Will, are you sure you have the right coat?" I asked, smiling through the veil. Will looked up, a smear of crumbs on his face.

"Not exactly, either it shrunk or I got Moody's." He mumbled, swallowing his mouthful of food.

"I think you got mine Will, unless I shrunk." I heard Moody say, coming in from another room. He also wore his officer's coat, although the sleeves dangled and it hung baggy on his small frame. I laughed loudly, pulling it off him. I tossed it to Will who gladly shed his and handed it to Moody. I turned to head out, motioning for Jonathan to get the carriage pulled around. He nodded, dropped the cigarette into his shirt pocket and stepped out the back. I opened the door, glad to be outside.

"Mourning has never suited you, 'Stasia dear." A masculine voice chuckled, stepping from the shadows of the house. He had wavy black hair, bright intelligent green eyes and pouty lips that a woman would covet. With one finger he flipped the veil from my hat up, baring my face.

"Ah, Reichster. The last time I saw you, you were covered in champagne and broken glass." I hissed, moving backwards. Zachary followed, trapping me against a wall with his arms.

"Fiery as always, you know I was so _sad _to hear of the sinking. Especially since your father didn't make it back, such a tragedy." He touched my cheek delicately, a rakish smile on his lips. I reached up and slapped him. He blinked several times, as if absorbing all that the blow meant. "Ah ah ah," He said while moving his finger, "A beautiful woman like you shouldn't give in to her violent side." He grasped my wrist, then leaned his head in towards mine. I struggled, trying to kick him without getting tangled up in my dress. Zachary jerked back suddenly, clutching his shoulder. Will stood there, fire in his eyes and his fist cocked.

"Get away from her." He growled, standing by my side.

"She's mine." Reichster moaned, rubbing his injured shoulder. Moody stepped out, taking in the situation.

"Really, are you engaged to her then?" Will retorted, grasping for my hand. I joined him in glaring at Zachary, who looked from Will to me. He suddenly beamed brightly, an evil grin on his face.

"Engaged. My, my. Well, 'Stasia, you've been quite busy haven't you?" He asked before slipping away down the street. Only when he was out of sight did Will relax, his shoulders sagging. He turned to me, the fire in his eyes gone.

"Who was that?" He asked, reaching for me. I stepped into his arms, embracing him.

"Zachary Reichster, the main rival of my company." I explained, burying myself in his chest. Will's hand ran soothingly down my back. "He's been after me for years, claiming that we need to marry in order to combine the companies."

"Well, he won't get that chance now, will he?" Will chuckled, his chest rumbling under my face. I had to laugh at that, looking up at him. I felt safe and warm in his arms, which wrapped comfortably around me.

"I hate to break you two up but I believe our ride is here." Moody interjected, grandly gesturing to Jonathan and the carriage. Will and Moody clambered up into the carriage while I pulled Jonathan down and gave him directions on where to take us first. He nodded and I joined the two officers in the seats of the carriage. We clattered off down the street. I couldn't help but smile as I looked out the window because in spite of my mourning clothes, I was happy. Happy to be alive and happy to be with two men so close I considered them family. Jonathan stopped in front of a Western Union Telegram office. It was surrounded by bicycle couriers who cast awed glanced at the sleek carriage.

"This does not look like the hotel, are you sure he knows the way?" Moody observed, staring at the couriers. I unlatched the door and stepped out, turning back to look at the two of them.

"You do want to let your families know you're alive, right?" I asked, starting towards the office door. Will and Moody cast a quick look at each other before coming out to follow me. We paraded into the office, grand as a queen and her train. There were several others in there, sending messages and receiving them.

"Why, hello, miss. How can I help you and these gentlemen, eh?" A clerk said, looking up to give us a smile.

"I need to send a message to my parents in Scarborough." Moody stepped forward, reaching for the pencil and message slip the man offered. He wrote quickly and nodded before handing it back to the man.

"Scarborough, England? My, that's rather far. Are you here on vacation?" The clerk observed, setting the slip behind his desk.

"Of sorts, if I could?" Will asked, reaching for the small pile of slips and pencils on the desk. The clerk nodded and Will patiently fill out his message and signed the address of his family. with a final flourish he signed it and returned the pencil.

"Dalbeattie, Scotland. You boys do realize this will cost a pretty penny?" The clerk lifted an eyebrow. I stepped forward and gave him my best first-class-so-much-better-than-you-get-out-of-my-way look.

"Send the bill to Dalian Shipping." I intoned.

"Miss Dalian! I'm so terribly sorry I didn't recognize you. I was so disappointed to see that your father perished in the sinking. He was always one of our largest supporters, ferrying mail in spare cargo space, having his wireless operators help out when business got hectic." The man gave a deep bow, before smiling. My father _had _loved the telegraph. After a few more pleasantries had been exchanged we exited to find a newsboy with a sandwich board covering his body, hawking newspapers. He thrust one in my face, the bold title screaming.

**_Titanic _****sinks four hours after hitting iceberg!**

**866 rescued by _Carpathia_, probably 1250 perish;**

**Ismay safe, Mrs. Astor maybe, noted names missing!**

"Read all about it, miss! She sunk and few survived!" The boy yelled. I grabbed at the front page, tearing it from his grasp. I viciously read the page, noting my name, next to my mother's. Neither Will's nor Moody's was listed. Jonathan took a look at me reading before tossing the boy a quarter. Will ushered me into the coach while I tore through the articles on the page. We finally reached the Waldorf-Astoria just in time for the Inquiry. A huge crowd had gathered, police there to hold off the unsavory types.

"I'm sorry, miss, but you'll have to wait outside." One of them said, motioning for Moody and Murdoch to pass through. I drew myself up and fixed him with a glare that could have melted a Greenland glacier.

"You dare to stop me? After I lost my father in the wreck of the _Titanic_? Do you even know who I am? I am Annastasia Dalian and I will be damned if you will stop me from viewing this Inquiry!" I cursed, breezing by him with the grace and fire only a Dalian woman could muster. I rejoined Will and James, who had stopped outside the main room to join the other officers.

"You're staying with Will's girl?" I heard Pitman ask incredulously.

"Yep, for the whole time were here." Moody declared.

"Excuse me, but I do have a name besides 'Will's girl'." I glared at Pitman who flushed and ducked his head.

"My apologies, Miss Dalian."

"Annastasia." I offered, reaching a hand out.

"Herbert." He responded, shaking my hand firmly. The door was opened and soon the other officers came forward, insisting that I call them by their first names and joke loudly with me. After we had begun to bond the Inquiry session began, evidenced by the rush of people into the room the hotel had provided. We sat ourselves down into seats, the officers sticking with their method of organization from highest to lowest. I must have made quite an impression as I was given the spot next to Will. He gave me a sad little smile as the Inquiry began. A young man in a suit stepped out before us, a podium present for the witness to give their testimony and a table and chairs for the men to judge the events.

"For the purpose of executing the command and direction of the Senate of the United States, the inquiry in which we contemplate will now begin. The resolution is as follows:

IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES,

April 17, 1912

_Resolved_, That the Committee on Commerce, or a subcommittee thereof, is hereby authorized and directed to investigate the causes leading to the wreck of the White Star liner _Titanic_, with its attendant loss of life so shocking to the civilized world.

_Resolved further_, That said committee or a subcommittee thereof is hereby empowered to summon witnesses, send for persons and papers, to administer oaths, and to take such testimony as may be necessary to determine the responsibility therefore, with a view to such legislation as may be necessary to prevent, as far as possible, any repetition of such a disaster.

_Resolved further_, That the committee shall inquire particularly into the number of lifeboats, rafts, and life preservers, and other equipment for the protection of the passengers and crew; the number of persons aboard the _Titanic_, whether passenger or crew, and whether adequate inspections were made of such vessel, in view of the large number of American passengers travelling over a route commonly regarded as dangerous from icebergs; and whether it is feasible for Congress to take steps looking to an international agreement to secure the protection of sea traffic, including regulation of the size of ships and designation of routes.

_Resolved further_, That in the report of said committee it shall recommend such legislation as it shall deem expedient; and the expenses incurred by this investigation shall be paid from the contingent fund of the Senate upon vouchers to be approved by the chairman of said committee.

Attested by CHARLES C. BENNETT, _Secretary_.

Written By: H. M. ROSE, _Assistant Secretary._" The man read off a letter, thoroughly boring me. All that I managed to get from it was that the Senate wanted to know what had happened in the events leading up to and during the sinking. The man, who I assumed was a Senator, set the paper down and adjusted his jacket before turning back to the crowd. Those of us that were required to be present sat stiffly in our chairs. "I will ask Mr. J. Bruce Ismay to come forward and take the stand."

_That_ brought a rustle from the crowd as we turned to catch and glimpse of the infamous man. He stepped forward, a black armband on his suit jacket. His face was drawn, ghastly pale and his eyes glazed. His moustaches drooped and I suspected he had been using less pomade. Lines had appeared where there had been none and he seemed to have aged a dozen years in one day. Ismay was sworn in and the Senator asked him a few preliminary questions, what his name was, his job, where he lived. He related his time onboard, his rooms, his experiences during the sinking and was promptly excused. After him came Captain Rostron who told of the rescue and his role in it. I sat there, moving my gaze from Will to the other officers to gauge their expressions. None of them seemed very shocked by what Ismay and Rostron said, so I assumed they weren't lying. After an argument on whether or not the _Titanic_'s wireless operator would be coming there was one juicy bit of gossip.

"Mr. Chairman, I want to make a brief statement. A statement has been made in the press with reference to myself, concerning which I wish to say to this. I received this telegram." The man stood up, producing a piece of paper from his coat. "To, James A. Hughes; You are quoted in press reports declaring, following Mrs. Smith's story, that Ismay should be lynched. Please wire us, day press rate collect, 500 words, your view of _Titanic_ disaster." There was a general gasp from the crowd at the thought of stringing Ismay up, although a few women grumbled that he deserved it. after allowing the information to soak in he pulled out a second, larger, slip of paper. "To that I have sent in reply. Press reports untrue. My daughter said nothing that would bring any such statement from me. I may have said, if investigation showed neglect of any officer, no punishment was too severe for him. Ismay was somewhat criticized by some for being among the men who were rescued. My daughter had no criticism of him. The press report will give full information as to details, Ismay gave what Senate committee considered a fair statement before the committee. He is subject to further call from the Senate committee. Captain of the _Carpathia_ before the Senate committee testifying now. My daughter states all possible aid was given them by the captain on _Carpathia_ and officers of the _Carpathia_." Being finished the man sat with a satisfied smile on his face, although he was unwilling to meet Ismay's eyes. The Senator heaved a massive sigh and spoke up.

"We will take a recess until 3'oclock this afternoon." I sprang to my feet, grabbed Will's hand and took off out of the depressing room. Moody trailed behind us like a dog, calling for us to slow down.

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**Please, please please review!**


	17. Annastasia 12

"Could that have been any more boring?" I asked as we entered the grand lobby of the hotel. Moody had finally caught up, the other officers trailing behind him. Will shook his head in answer, before Lightoller slapped his shoulder.

"Not leaving us already are ya?" Lightoller asked, "There's a wonderful restaurant here, I think they've got room for seven." Charles jumped forward and took my hand to escort me before Will could stop him. He thrust his nose up in the air and walked alongside me like a popinjay.

"Charles, I think people are staring." I told him, raising my fan to hide my face.

"Do I look like I care?" He retorted, his face deathly serious.

"Slightly." I told him. He laughed loudly drawing the attention of most everyone in the room. Finally we reached the entrance to the hotel's restaurant, causing the host to look up. He had a black armband tied around his shirt in mourning.

"How can I help you monsieur?" He asked in a haughty French accent.

"A table for seven please." I told him, glaring at him when he frowned in displeasure. He collected several velvet encased menus and led us through. He sat us at a table covered by an exquisite white table cloth. Gold trimmed dishes were laid out on the table, crystal cut goblets, glasses and flutes cluttered the silk.

"Pardon me Charles, but I believe that I should sit by her." Will said, coming up behind me. He gently pulled out my chair and lowered me into it. Charles merely laughed before claiming a spot to my left. Will sat to my right, Moody across from me, Pitman to his left, Boxhall to his right and Lowe taking the head. I looked around, noticing that many of the people were dressed in mourning and had come out of the Inquiry. Apparently this was a popular place to stop after the hours in the room the hotel had given us. I scanned the menu, noticing that it was all in French. Moody had trouble reading it, his brow furrowing immensely.

"I can't understand a single bit of this." He complained, throwing down the menu. The other officers all voiced their agreement, glowering into their plates. I laughed and pointed to the different dishes, translating for them. When the waiter returned he seemed surprised to hear the officers all clamoring for certain dishes prepared in their own way. After taking our orders he left us, scratching his head.

"Will and I have to say, you sure can pick them!" Boxhall said, raising his wine glass to me. I placed my hand over my mouth, as if I was shocked by his statement. He glimpsed something on my hand and the wine stopped on its way to his mouth. "What's that on your hand?" I looked down and saw the ring twinkling happily on my hand. I turned to Will, gave him a smile and shrugged my shoulders before turning back to Boxhall.

"It's a ring, from Will. We're going to be married." I stated, causing the other officers to freeze. Moody gave a self satisfied smirk, leaning back into his chair.

"Oh, come now. You've seen the way he looks at her, and you're surprised by this?" He asked loudly, closing his eyes. I turned to Will, sure enough he was gazing calf eyed at me. I giggled at him.

"Then we must celebrate! Champagne, I say, champagne!" Lowe called dragging a waiter over with a large bottle. He poured all of our glasses full, then was brushed aside by a large woman.

"Margaret!" I cried, rising to embrace her. She was still the lively woman I knew, hale and hearty after all of this. She responded, wrapping her arms around me after we negotiated around our hat brims, then motioned for a waiter to bring her a champagne flute.

"Well, what are we toastin' here?" She questioned, smiling at me. Will came up and wrapped an arm around me, his head near my ear.

"Our engagement." He told her, kissing the side of my cheek through the veil.

"'Bout damn time." She mumbled, before raising her glass. The other officers followed suit, all lifted to me and Will.

"To Annastasia and Will!" Lightoller cried, his ever present smile fixed on his face.

"Annastasia and Will!" The others repeated before knocking back their own glasses. I looked over at Will; his face had turned a bright shade of red. The other officers noticed and began to laugh loudly. _I'll show them. _I flipped my veil up and pressed my lips to Will's. He was surprised but joined in, holding me close as the officers cheered loudly. Other customers at the restaurant looked over, their faces shocked. I didn't care; glad to just be with Will.

"Oh, I hate to interrupt you but it appears your lunch is here." Margaret whispered, lightly tapping my shoulder. I broke away from Will and noticed that the cheering officers had stopped to fill their mouths. I sat back down with Will, digging into the salad I had ordered. Pitman repeatedly passed portions of the chicken he had ordered to me over the table. Everything was delicious. By the time we had finished gorging ourselves there was only a few moments left to get to the second session of the Inquiry. Most of the others were all sat when we rushed in and claimed our spots.

"I would like to call Guglielmo Marconi to testify." The Senator called, bringing a well dressed man up. His features were sharp and handsome, causing many of the girls to look in his direction.

"Imagine how long it took him to learn how to pronounce that correctly." Will whispered, causing me to laugh. I quickly covered my mouth with my fan and lightly slapped him. Will coughed to hide a laugh before leaning back to watch the proceedings. I let my eyes drift closed, resting happily. The repetitive questions worked as a lullaby, but my will to hear their answers held me from jumping off the cliff of deep sleep.

"Will Mr. Murdoch please come forward?" I jolted awake, casting my eyes up to Will as he stood up. He adjusted his coat and walked forward. One of the Senators held out a Bible, motioning for Will to place his hand on it.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" He asked.

"I do." Will answered before moving to the podium. The main Senator, Smith I believe his name was, paced in front of him.

"What is your name?" He asked.

"William McMaster Murdoch." Will responded. I grabbed at the edge of the bench, my knuckles turning white.

"Mr. Murdoch, where do you reside?"

"Belmont Road, Southampton."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-eight, sir." I rolled this around in my head, a six year difference between us. Not that much, considering some of the other couples I've known. After all, Mr. Astor's wife Madeline is only seventeen and already pregnant. But, having a twenty-two year old daughter who is unmarried is a great shame for it either means she is not lovely, she is rude or she is poor. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"What is your business?"

"I'm a sailor sir; my family's been sailors for generations."

"How long have you been in the service or employment?"

"Oh, thirteen years."

"In what capacities have you served?"

"Pardon?"

"In what jobs? What was your rank during your time of service?"

"Ah, I served as fourth, third, second and first officer. I was to be Chief Officer for this voyage but was demoted." Will said this last part with a bit of anger to his voice. I saw Lightoller fumble in his pocket for something before turning to me.

"Quit worrying." He hissed, scooting over to be next to me.

"I'm not." I growled back, trying to pay attention to the proceedings.

"It's obvious, here, look over here." He brought what he had in his pocket out to show me. It was a quarter, shiny in the light. "Now you see, Will here is kind of like a coin, he's got two sides to him. The side he has right now, is the boring, stiff, formal side of him where he acts like he got a stick shoved half-way up his bum. He'll be fine up there."

"What's the other side?" I asked, vaguely aware that Smith was pressing Murdoch for information about the _Titanic_'s trials.

"The other side is his fun side, when you can get him away and he acts like a normal human being." He responded. I chortled slightly but stiffened when I heard Smith's condescending tone as he spoke to Murdoch.

"You left the Captain and Mr. Andrews to attend to one certain passenger?"

"Yes, sir." Murdoch growled, getting highly frustrated.

"Why?"

"I went to help a woman I had come to love during the voyage. I had to see her to safety." He sighed. I stroked my ring, circling my thumb over the stone.

"Did you not think that she would be rescued due to boarding women and children first?"

"Sir, have you ever loved a woman so fiercely that it feels as if you wouldn't be able to live without her?"

"Not that fiercely, no."

"To see one you love that much die, you would almost welcome death if only to be with them again. The only way I could be certain that my beloved would live was to see her off myself. I do not regret my actions in the slightest." My heart felt as if it were filling with joy at the words he uttered. I heard several others sigh loudly, many calling blessings onto him.

"Mr. Murdoch, just who is that woman?" Smith demanded, loudly stamping his foot.

"Annastasia Dalian." An audible gasp was heard from the audience, hushed whispers following.

"Is she present today?"

"Yes, sir."

"Will Annastasia Dalian please step forward?" Smith called. Lightoller gave my hand a firm squeeze as I stood up. There was a polite smattering of applause, most of it from Mrs. Brown. She had roughly elbowed her friends beside her until they applauded as well. Will held out his hand, a smile on his lips. I placed mine in his and he drew me close.

"Miss Dalian, can you uphold Mr. Murdoch story?" He asked, his dark eyes holding mine.

"Yes, I can. Will, I mean Mr. Murdoch, has given me several gifts. This handkerchief," I said, bringing it out to show him. "and there's a picture of us in his watch." Will fumbled in his pocket for a minute before pulling out the watch and opening it. I could help but smile at the black and white photograph in there, Murdoch smiling as he gently touched my shoulder.

"And, sir, if you require more evidence we are now engaged." Will stated, bringing our clasped hands up to show him. The ring sparkled happily on my black gloved hand, causing him to gape like a fish out of water for a moment or two.

"Well, uh, congratulations. Miss Dalian, you're dismissed." He stammered. Will lifted my hand to his lips, kissed it, and turned me back towards Lightoller, Pitman, Boxhall, Lowe and Moody. I smiled as I walked past the stunned faces of the crowd. Lightoller gave me an encouraging smile as I sat down by him.

"Mr. Murdoch, after you had placed Ms. Dalian into a boat what did you do?"

"I attended to my boats on the starboard side, loading each one as full as I could."

"How full was that?"

"It varied sometimes twenty, sometimes thirty or more."

"Anything less?"

"Yes, at the very beginning. I had one boat with only ten." Will sighed, placing his hands behind his back and wringing them.

"You did not think to load it fuller?"

"I would have liked to, but no one would step forward."

"Now, after you had finished with your lifeboats did you think to go down with the ship?"

"No sir, I thought to live. For Ms. Dalian, of course." Will gave a little chuckle before turning around to smile at me.

"How did you get off then?"

"I swam, we had taken a boat off the top of the officer's quarters but it had landed upside down. Several men were trying to flip it upright when the water came at us. They fled, leaving the boat. I swam after it, hauling myself up onto it by holding the keel."

"Ah, so did you witness the sinking?" Smith queried. He was dismissive about my relationship with Will, ignoring it until Will brought it up.

"No, sir. Other survivors began climbing up onto the boat and lying over me."

"How were you rescued off that boat?"

"Another lifeboat came by, led by Ms. Dalian, Mrs. Brown and Sixth Officer Moody, and picked me up."

"Were there any other survivors from that boat?"

"No, sir."

"You were the only one?"

"Yes, sir."

"What other officers survived?"

"All except for Wilde."

"Their names, Mr. Murdoch?"

"Myself, Second Officer Charles Lightoller, Third Officer Herbert Pitman, Fourth Officer Joseph Boxhall, Fifth Officer Charles Lowe, and Sixth Officer James Moody."

"Thank you for your testimony Mr. Murdoch, you may step down." Will smiled and turned on his heel to come back over to us. The sun had set and the whole room was lit by electric lights, the bright light shining on small wet tracks on his face. He sat next to me, turning his face to hide it from Lightoller.

"Will, Will what is it?" I asked, bringing my handkerchief up to wipe at his tears.

"I did something terrible, something absolutely terrible." He whispered, holding my hand tightly. I was so absorbed in his face that I didn't recognize the session had ended. I grabbed Will's hand and pulled him after me.

"Wait, Annastasia, where are you going?" Moody called, chasing after us.

"Home." I responded.

"Then slow down! I'm coming with you." He ordered, jogging after us. We exited the hotel, searching for the coach. Sure enough Jonathan was there, the horses looking much more cared for than they had last night. I had a sinking suspicion that he had let them rest in the hotel stables. Will and Moody jumped up into the seat, Will's hand extended for me. I looked over at Jonathan holding the reins.

"Home, Jonathan. Take us home." I commanded, joining the two in the carriage. Moody didn't seem to notice Will was upset, the darkness hiding his tears. He chattered happily, making observations about people's reactions to Will's statement of our engagement. When the carriage pulled up at the house he was the first inside, claiming that he was going to tell Peggy we were ready for dinner. I led Will upstairs to my private sitting room, depositing him in the large blue couch in front of the big bay windows that looked out over the docks.

"Will, what happened?" I asked, mopping at his face again.

"Wh-when I was loading the boats, Hockley came. He gave me money, demanding a place be saved for him in a boat." He sobbed, throwing his hat away. I fetched it back and placed it in his hands, gazing up at him with all the love I could show on my face. He looked at me, smiling through his tears. "I wouldn't take it though; I gave it to a third class woman. But, before I got onto the boat, I thought - I actually can't believe the thought occurred to me - I thought of dying. Of letting myself drown or freeze to death." I gasped, tearing up myself.

"Will . . ." I whispered, feeling my tears begin to fall.

"Shh, let's just forget that night. We're together, and nothing can separate us." He smiled, kissing away my tears. Together we descended the stairs, smiling as Moody jumped to greet us and pour us some of the chicken soup Peggy had made. The small home cooked meal, eaten around a blazing hearth, had none of the elegance or luxury of _Titanic_, but it seemed far, far better that anything that ship could have given.

Aside from meeting Will of course.


	18. Murdoch 6

**Oh, I'm so sorry guys! I had to read Jane Eyre and The Jungle for school which took forever, and then I had to write a 14 page paper on them. Then, on top of that, I show cattle and we've had a show every other weekend, then the weekends we have off we're clipping for the next one! Sorry I'm late, enjoy and review!**

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"Sir, Mr. Murdoch, I highly disapprove of this." A harsh feminine voice said, shaking my shoulder. I blinked, thinking it was still night because of the dark blue covering of Annastasia's bed. Speaking of her, she was currently curled up in my arm. I smiled and brushed a stray piece of hair from her eyes. "Sir!"

"I'm coming." I yawned loudly. Annastasia's maid glowered before pointing at a pile of clothes. My coat rested atop the pile, my shirt and pants underneath it with the boots to the side. I gently lifted my arm from around Annastasia, running it across my face. I recoiled; my face was rough with stubble. I looked up at the maid, Peggy. "Is there a place I might shave?"

"Of course, the old master's bathroom is fully furnished. I'll take you there." She offered. I collected my clothes and boots and followed. She led me up to the highest floor, directing me to a door. I entered to find a simply furnished bedroom, the only thing worth mentioning was a large desk, I lifted the top paper. It had been written by her father, Gregory Dalian. I slid the chair out and sat down to read.

_March 2, 1912_

_As I sit here writing this, my wife is yelling at my poor daughter over helping Jonathan with the carriage. Sometimes I detest that woman, but I do love her. Speaking of love, so far in life my only regret is that I cannot find a man to love my daughter. I cannot reason why no suitor has come forward. True, she is awkward, always helping out the servants. Her heart, her heart is pure though. Whenever I see her, I only see the picture of innocence in those deep brown eyes. Ah, I have just looked out from the window to see her lifting her own bags into the trunk behind the main carriage seat. My darling Annastasia, so independent. _

_My wife is now calling me, saying that if we do not leave now we will not catch the ship to England. Perhaps while we are there some Englishman will mistake her quirky habits for mere American rustic charms. Ah, what am I writing? There's absolutely no chance that she'll manage to find a husband in England. What man would want a twenty-two year old wife? I just want her to be happy, and to have someone to share her happiness with. Except for Reichster. If I ever catch that son of a bitch with his hands on my daughter again I'll do worse than break a champagne bottle over his head!_

_God preserve my family, my loving wife and beautiful daughter, God watch over Dalian Shipping and Trading, and God damn the Reichsters to the lowest level of Hell!_

Ah, Annastasia gets her fire from her father. I stopped to think as I lathered my face and lifted the sharp razor. Judging from what he had wrote, if he truly meant that, it was no wonder he had seemed happy when I last saw him on the ship. No wonder his eyes had seemed bright when death had been so close. I had answered every wish he had made, and he knew that he could rest in peace.

"DAMN!" I cried, clapping a hand to the small line of red that had burst onto my face. I threw the razor into the sink and dabbed at the cut with a wet towel. I hissed as I felt the towel touch the raw skin, glad that the pain would only last a few more moments before the blood faded with new skin. I perused the bottles on the shelves until I found a bottle of aftershave. I clapped it to my face, cursing again as it touched the raw line. I shed the silk clothing and shrugged into my uniform.

Both the shirt and pants had been cleaned and pressed, the boots polished so highly I could see myself in them. I lifted the coat, gazing at its cleaned fabric and polished buttons. When I pulled it on though, it felt tiny. As if it had shrunk when it had been washed. I ignored it, placing my cap on my head and gazing at myself in the mirror. A clean cut sailor, his coat too tight; his face a little red and behind his eyes a horrible guilt. I shuddered, turning for the stairs and leaving this room to the ghosts that were sure to haunt this place.

"People won't like that, miss. They'll think you're putting on airs, think that you're not upset." I heard as I passed Annastasia's door, her maid dressing her. I shook my head, hearing Annastasia's fierce rebuttal in my mind. I explored the first floor briefly, glad to find that the dining room table had been set with a large platter of meats, rolls and butter. I had just picked a roll up and was smearing it liberally with butter when Annastasia walked in. She looked incredibly pale, her bright hair covered by a veil and her pale skin hidden under gloves. In fact, she looked like a ghost. She cast a glare at Jonathan who was preparing to light a smoke. He looked away and dropped it back into his shirt. She cast one look at me and burst out laughing.

"Will, are you sure you have the right coat?" Despite her black clothing her voice was joyful and she smiled behind the veil in front of her face. I was suddenly aware of the smear of butter on my cheek and the crumbs lining my lips. I pulled the napkin from the table and wiped my face off.

"Not exactly, either it shrunk or I got Moody's." I grumbled around my food. Annastasia laughed loudly as Moody walked in.

"I think you got mine Will, unless I shrunk." Moody hastily agreed, the coat he wore hanging loosely on his frame and the sleeves hanging over his wrists. Annastasia was still laughing as she pulled Moody's coat off him, wadded it up and tossed it to me. I returned the favor by tossing mine to her. With my proper coat restored I felt slightly better about facing the coming day. With a single wave Annastasia sent Jonathan out back to fetch the carriage. He regretfully looked at the cigarette he had pulled out again and walked off. Moody pulled out a chair and fixed himself a plate of bacon and toast which he proceeded to wolf down. I finished my breakfast, following after Annastasia. I could hear her voice and another arguing through the door.

"A beautiful woman like you shouldn't give in to her violent side." A male voice said, his tone seductive. I walked to a window near the door and peeked through the curtains. A large man was grasping her wrist and, despite all of her struggles, trying to kiss her. A flame of anger that I had never experienced flared up inside of me. How dare he touch her! How dare he force himself on her! On my Annastasia! I threw open the door, and with the fury of the old Scottish hero William Wallace, struck the man in the shoulder. He fell backward as I took a stance in front of Annastasia. Her eyes were wet and tracks of tears stained her face.

"Get away from her." I told him, taking a threatening step forward.

"She's mine." He hissed, gently touching his shoulder. My fist stung with the force of the blow so I could only imagine how his shoulder felt. The door slammed shut as Moody came out, his face darkening when he saw the tears on Annastasia's face.

"Really, are you engaged to her then?" I quipped, grasping her hand gently. Annastasia's eyes dried suddenly and I saw the anger that had infected me spread to her, her eyes flashing with hatred for the man in front of us. The man, who was still massaging his shoulder, gazed from my face to Annastasia's before taking in the ring on Annastasia's hand. A slow, cruel smile spread over his plump lips.

"Engaged. My, my. Well, 'Stasia, you've been quite busy haven't you?" He chuckled, slowly backing away. Only once he was gone did I relax, desperately searching Annastasia for any signs that she had been injured grievously. The anger that had held her throughout that dissolved and she began to sob.

"Who was that?" I questioned, taking her into my arms.

"Zachary Reichster, the main rival of my company." She responded. I pressed my lips to her neck, the silk of her veil tickling my freshly shaved face. I ran my hands slowly down her back to keep her aware that she had someone in this world who would protect her. "He's been after me for years, claiming that we need to marry in order to combine the companies."

"Well, he won't get that chance now, will he?" I laughed, letting her lean back so that we could gaze at each other.

"I hate to break you two up but I believe our ride is here." Moody harrumphed, gesturing to the sleek black coach. I followed Moody as he leapt up to his seat, sitting across from him. He cast a look outside before looking back to me.

"You really do love her don't you?" He asked, doffing his cap.

"Yes, I do." I responded, pulling off my own hat from my head. Annastasia jumped in, her face alight behind the black veil. I couldn't help but chuckle as she wormed her way beside me, placing my arm around her waist. We rode in companionable silence as the city passed by outside. The carriage came to a stop by a large, stout, brick building. Couriers surrounded the doors, rushing to and fro as they clutched messages to their chests.

"This does not look like the hotel, are you sure he knows the way?" Moody stated the obvious, gazing out of the glass window. Annastasia popped the door and stepped out, the train of her skirt swaying on the pavement.

"You do want to let your families know you're alive, right?" She called back, already setting foot in the Western Union Telegraph office. Moody jumped up, clawing at the door. I shoved him aside, getting out first. Like brothers we cursed at each other for a few moments before I fell out, barely managed to maintain my balance and was by Annastasia's side as she entered the office. Desks clogged the room, papers fluttering in the breeze that accompanied each opening of the door.

"Why, hello, miss. How can I help you and these gentlemen, eh?" One of the clerks said, adjusting his hat when he caught sight of us.

"I need to send a message to my parents in Scarborough." Moody blurted out, stepping up to the table. He grabbed a telegraph slip and a pencil, scribbling furiously. It took him mere minutes to finish his telegram.

"Scarborough, England? My, that's rather far. Are you here on vacation?" The clerk commented, scratching his head.

"Of sorts, if I could?" I answered, reaching for a slip. He nodded, setting a pencil down on the desk. I picked it up, signing the address of my parents and their names.

_Mum. Da. I'm safe. In America. Be home soon. Me at nice girl, can't wait for you to meet her. Tell the little ones that they going to have a new sister. Hope you like her. Love you, William McMaster Murdoch. _I handed it back to him. He looked at it for a moment before casting a look from Annastasia to me.

"Dalbeattie, Scotland. You boys do realize this will cost a pretty penny?" The other clerks seemed interested as to what ours was saying. Several stopped what they were doing and watched us. Annastasia's face gained a sneer as she stepped forward, gazing at the clerk as if he was a pile of dog mess.

"Send the bill to Dalian Shipping." She growled.

"Miss Dalian! I'm so terribly sorry I didn't recognize you. I was so disappointed to see that your father perished in the sinking. He was always one of our largest supporters, ferrying mail in spare cargo space, having his wireless operators help out when business got hectic." The clerk groveled, bowing deeply. Annastasia's face softened, her eyes growing misty. A few more of the clerks offered more compliments about her family before she turned to leave. We stepped out and were immediately accosted by a news boy. He held the front page in front of his face as he screamed out the headlines.

"Read all about it, miss! She sunk and few survived!" Annastasia grabbed the paper and tore it from his grasp. Her full attention was focused on reading the paper, ignoring the boy grasping for his pay. Jonathan tossed the boy a quarter as I gently guided her into the carriage. Shortly we were stopped outside the Waldorf-Astoria, a huge crowd gathered around. The crowd was full of press and reporters hoping for a quote of glimpse of those in the inquiry. The United States flag, complete with its new 48th star, hung limply from the flagpole above them. One of the police officers cleared a path through the crowd for Moody, Annastasia and I. We had just entered the hotel and joined with the other officers when I noticed that Annastasia was not with us anymore. I looked around for her, then saw her coming through the door. She was muttering about some 'damn police officer'.

"You're staying with Will's girl?" Herbert asked, looking over our shoulders as Annastasia approached.

"Yep, for the whole time we're here." Moody proudly declared, putting his hands in his pockets and grinning widely.

"Excuse me, but I do have a name besides 'Will's girl'." I heard Annastasia growl from behind me. Moody and I respectfully scooted aside so she could insert herself in the group. She had fixed Herbert with the glare that I loved so much.

"My apologies, Miss Dalian."

"Annastasia." She smiled, all her grievances forgotten as she held out her hand.

"Herbert." He offered, clasping her hand and gently shaking it. The others presented themselves, asking to be called by their first names. She smiled and repeated them, forcing herself to remember them. When the door to the Inquiry room was opened there was a great rush of people as they clamored to get seats, I was in no hurry as seats for witnesses would have been reserved. Annastasia and I led the group, another chair hastily being pulled up for her. We sat ourselves in order of our rank. I regretted not having Moody by me, not for my benefit but to keep him from annoying the others. A well dressed man, young for the position he held, stepped forward. I heard people whisper that his name was Smith, and that he was the Senator in charge of the inquiry. He cleared his throat and with a self satisfied pull of his jacket began to speak.

"For the purpose of executing the command and direction of the Senate of the United States, the inquiry in which we contemplate will now begin. The resolution is as follows:

IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES,

April 17, 1912

_Resolved_, That the Committee on Commerce, or a subcommittee thereof, is hereby authorized and directed to investigate the causes leading to the wreck of the White Star liner _Titanic_, with its attendant loss of life so shocking to the civilized world.

_Resolved further_, That said committee or a subcommittee thereof is hereby empowered to summon witnesses, send for persons and papers, to administer oaths, and to take such testimony as may be necessary to determine the responsibility therefore, with a view to such legislation as may be necessary to prevent, as far as possible, any repetition of such a disaster.

_Resolved further_, That the committee shall inquire particularly into the number of lifeboats, rafts, and life preservers, and other equipment for the protection of the passengers and crew; the number of persons aboard the _Titanic_, whether passenger or crew, and whether adequate inspections were made of such vessel, in view of the large number of American passengers travelling over a route commonly regarded as dangerous from icebergs; and whether it is feasible for Congress to take steps looking to an international agreement to secure the protection of sea traffic, including regulation of the size of ships and designation of routes.

_Resolved further_, That in the report of said committee it shall recommend such legislation as it shall deem expedient; and the expenses incurred by this investigation shall be paid from the contingent fund of the Senate upon vouchers to be approved by the chairman of said committee.

Attested by CHARLES C. BENNETT, _Secretary_.

Written By: H. M. ROSE, _Assistant Secretary._" Senator Smith finished with a self-satisfied smirk and tug of his jacket as he turned back to the crowd. He ran his hand through some of his hair before speaking. "I will ask Mr. J. Bruce Ismay to come forward and take the stand." A huge shock travelled through the crowd as they turned to find Ismay. He stepped forward, cowed and beaten by the world. He was sworn in and began to tell his story. I turned to watch Annastasia as he spoke. She grew sadder and even more morose than she had been as he spoke. I was immediately relieved when Ismay was dismissed and Captain Rostron came forward. He told his heroic tale, reviving Annastasia's happiness. By the end of his statement she was smiling and looked to be restraining herself from clapping. I was hoping that they were about to dismiss us when a man in the audience stood.

"Mr. Chairman, I want to make a brief statement. A statement has been made in the press with reference to myself, concerning which I wish to say to this. I received this telegram." He said, pulling a small slip of paper from his suit vest. "To, James A. Hughes; You are quoted in press reports declaring, following Mrs. Smith's story, that Ismay should be lynched. Please wire us, day press rate collect, 500 words, your view of _Titanic_ disaster." I groaned, thinking that he might blame me. Why should any of us be blamed? It was an accident, we never meant to. He continued despite my thoughts. "To that I have sent in reply. Press reports untrue. My daughter said nothing that would bring any such statement from me. I may have said, if investigation showed neglect of any officer, no punishment was too severe for him. Ismay was somewhat criticized by some for being among the men who were rescued. My daughter had no criticism of him. The press report will give full information as to details, Ismay gave what Senate committee considered a fair statement before the committee. He is subject to further call from the Senate committee. Captain of the _Carpathia_ before the Senate committee testifying now. My daughter states all possible aid was given them by the captain on _Carpathia_ and officers of the _Carpathia_." Senator Smith heaved a massive sigh and looked as if he would enjoy braining the man.

"We will take a recess until 3'oclock this afternoon." He announced. Annastasia jumped up, grabbed my hand and began to haul me towards the hotel lobby. She was smiling as she spoke to me.

"Could that have been anymore boring?" She asked, her voice joyous behind her mourning veil. My voice had chosen that moment to hide itself so I merely shook my head and thought about how lucky I was to be with a woman like this. I started as Lightoller playfully punched my shoulder before coming up alongside us.

"Not leaving us already are ya? There's a wonderful restaurant here, I think they've got room for seven." He immediately jumped forward and took Annastasia's hand to escort her there. I grumbled good naturedly and was entranced as Annastasia laughed at something he said. It was as if bells had begun to rung as she laughed happily. Our small group was led into a large dining room, filled with rich patrons, gilded accents and crystal clear windows. I stepped forward and stood up to Charles, claiming my girl from him. I pulled out her chair and smiled at her.

"Pardon me Charles, but I believe that I should sit by her." I said, lowering her into the chair. Charles just laughed and took a chair to her left. I sat to her right and the others arrayed themselves around the table. I picked up a menu, covered in soft velvet, and proceeded to try and decipher the French writing.

"I can't understand a single bit of this." Moody cursed and tossed his menu down. Several of the others agreed and proceeded to grumble. Annastasia merely laughed and pointed to the different dishes and translated. I couldn't help but smile as she reached across my chest to point to several dishes. We quickly ordered and left the waiter scratching his head as to how these Englishmen and Americans could read his language.

"Will and I have to say, you sure can pick them!" Joseph crowed, toasting his glass to Annastasia. She tittered and raised a hand to hide it. Joseph's glass of wind stopped as he looked at Annastasia's hand. "What's that on your hand?" He questioned, squinting. She looked at her hand, turned to me and smiled before shrugging her shoulders.

"It's a ring, from Will. We're going to be married." She remarked causing the others to freeze. Moody leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed in self satisfaction. It turned to look down at Annastasia as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Oh, come now. You've seen the way he looks at her, and you're surprised by this?" He commented. She turned to look at me and almost laughed, her smile infectious. It caught onto the other officers as they unfroze and smiled at us.

"Then we must celebrate! Champagne, I say, champagne!" Lowe yelled, causing a waiter carrying a large bottle of champagne to scurry over. He poured the bubbly liquid into our flutes before he stepped aside to allow a large, robust woman near our table.

"Margaret!" Annastasia said, rising to embrace the large woman. She looked so small and gentle in her arms I suddenly thought I had become engaged to a porcelain doll. I rose and walked over as Margaret began to speak.

"Well, what are we toastin' here?" She asked, looking at the table.

"Our engagement." I answered, wrapping my arms around Annastasia from behind her. I kissed her cheek through the fishnet of the veil, enjoying the flush that came to her cheeks.

"'Bout damn time." Margaret commented, lifting her glass. The others followed suit, directing them towards us.

"To Annastasia and Will!" Lightoller cried, smiling at the both of us.

"Annastasia and Will!" All the officers echoed. They knocked back their glasses of champagne, looking back to us. I could feel myself blushing at their praise, but was shocked when Annastasia flipped her veil up and suddenly pressed her lips to mine. I responded, wrapping my arms around her to hold her close. The officers cheered loudly as we kissed, drawing the attention of the other diners. We finally parted when Margaret tapped Annastasia's shoulder and whispered to her. I saw the waiters setting out the food as Margaret turned away from us. We ate happily, Joseph passing her food whenever he thought she needed some meat with her salad. As I was mopping up any of the mushroom sauce that had landed near my mouth I looked at my watch, 2:55. There was a larger clock that the others noticed before they rose and began to make their way back to the Inquiry room. The payment for the bill was left on the table, a small pile of bills. We just managed to get our seats back when Senator Smith called for a new witness.

"I would like to call Guglielmo Marconi to testify." Smith called, bringing a smartly dressed man up to the podium.

"Imagine how long it took him to learn how to pronounce that correctly." I whispered to Annastasia, causing her to chuckle. She lightly hit me with her fan before slowly lazing back into a slight stupor to pass the time. I watched, bored, as Marconi spoke slowly to make sure he was understood around his accent. My eyelids had just started to drift closed when I started.

"Will Mr. Murdoch please come forward?" Senator Smith called, sending me to my feet. I brushed off my coat and slowly walked up to the stand. My whole confidence was shaking, my mouth was dry and I had to remember to breathe. One of the senators stepped forward, holding out a Bible. I laid my hand across it, looking up at him.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" He asked.

"I do." I managed to spit out after a few seconds. Senator Smith walked in front of the podium for a few moments, studying me intently before he spoke.

"What is your name?" He asked simply.

"William McMaster Murdoch." I responded, glad that it was only simple questions, for right now at least.

"Mr. Murdoch, where do you reside?"

"Belmont Road, Southampton." I replied, thinking of the small house in the city. It was only a few rooms, hidden halfway down a thickly wooded streets.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-eight, sir." A slight murmur ran through the audience and the senators, whether it was because I was younger than they thought of older I could not say.

"What is your business?"

"I'm a sailor sir; my family's been sailors for generations."

"How long have you been in the service or employment?"

"Oh, thirteen years."

"In what capacities have you served?"

"Pardon?"

"In what jobs? What was your rank during your time of service?"

"Ah, I served as fourth, third, second and first officer. I was to be Chief Officer for this voyage but was demoted." I said sourly, but then thinking decided that it had been for the better that I had been demoted to First Officer. If I had been Chief Officer, I wouldn't have helped Annastasia onto _Titanic_, wouldn't have helped her prevent the _New York_ almost sinking us, been off watch and held her while she cried, bought her a handkerchief and had tea, sung to her, and I wouldn't have saved her life! Wilde coming along was the greatest thing that could have happened to me. Being demoted was the best thing for me, for I met the best person I had ever met. He pressed me for information about the sea trials of _Titanic_, I answered him truthfully. He seemed skeptical about my answers before continuing his tirade by drawing the story of the sinking, causing me to reflect silently on what I had done. I had just finished telling him about how I had left Captain Smith and Mr. Andrews in the chart room when he interrupted.

"You left the Captain and Mr. Andrews to attend to one certain passenger?" He asked astounded.

"Yes, sir." I hissed, bored with the repetitive questions and answers.

"Why?"

"I went to help a woman I had come to love during the voyage. I had to see her to safety."

"Did you not think that she would be rescued due to boarding women and children first?"

"Sir, have you ever loved a woman so fiercely that it feels as if you wouldn't be able to live without her?"

"Not that fiercely, no."

"To see one you love that much die, you would almost welcome death if only to be with them again. The only way I could be certain that my beloved would live was to see her off myself. I do not regret my actions in the slightest." I had just decided to come out with it. No more hiding, no more secrecy, I wanted to be sure that no one would make advances on Annastasia.

"Mr. Murdoch, just who is that woman?" He pressed, stomping his foot loudly in frustration.

"Annastasia Dalian." I felt a small smirk come across my face at the massive gasp that followed.

"Is she present today?"

"Yes, sir."

"Will Annastasia Dalian please step forward?" One set of footsteps rang out hollowly on the floor, a soft hand covering mine. I pulled her close, letting the calming smell of her lavender perfume waft towards me. "Miss Dalian, can you uphold Mr. Murdoch story?"

"Yes, I can. Will, I mean Mr. Murdoch, has given me several gifts. This handkerchief," Her voice was calm as she spoke and removed the handkerchief from her sleeve. "and there's a picture of us in his watch." I fumbled for a minute before bringing the small watch out and the photograph inside.

"And, sir, if you require more evidence we are now engaged." I said, thinking of Reichster's face when he learned that his bit of gossip was worthless. The audience went into an uproar, Smith staring at us.

"Well, uh, congratulations. Miss Dalian, you're dismissed." He stammered, waving dismissively. Annastasia squeezed my hand gently before turning back.

"Mr. Murdoch, after you had placed Ms. Dalian into a boat what did you do?"

"I attended to my boats on the starboard side, loading each one as full as I could."

"How full was that?"

"It varied sometimes twenty, sometimes thirty or more."

"Anything less?"

"Yes, at the very beginning. I had one boat with only ten."

"You did not think to load it fuller?"

"I would have liked to, but no one would step forward."

"Now, after you had finished with your lifeboats did you think to go down with the ship?"

"No sir, I thought to live. For Ms. Dalian, of course." I laughed, but my mind wandered to the thoughts I had had during the sinking. The thoughts of leaving Annastasia and dying myself.

"How did you get off then?"

"I swam, we had taken a boat off the top of the officer's quarters but it had landed upside down. Several men were trying to flip it upright when the water came at us. They fled, leaving the boat. I swam after it, hauling myself up onto it by holding the keel."

"Ah, so did you witness the sinking?" Smith queried. He was dismissive about my relationship with Will, ignoring it until Will brought it up.

"No, sir. Other survivors began climbing up onto the boat and lying over me."

"How were you rescued off that boat?"

"Another lifeboat came by, led by Ms. Dalian, Mrs. Brown and Sixth Officer Moody, and picked me up."

"Were there any other survivors from that boat?"

"No, sir."

"You were the only one?"

"Yes, sir."

"What other officers survived?"

"All except for Wilde."

"Their names, Mr. Murdoch?"

"Myself, Second Officer Charles Lightoller, Third Officer Herbert Pitman, Fourth Officer Joseph Boxhall, Fifth Officer Charles Lowe, and Sixth Officer James Moody."

"Thank you for your testimony Mr. Murdoch, you may step down." I smiled sadly, feeling the warm tracks of tears running down my face. I sat by Annastasia, turning my face from Charles. She moved to smile at me, but stopped when she saw my face.

"Will, Will what is it?" She queried, mopping up the tears with her handkerchief. I grabbed onto her hand, the only constant in my upside down world, the only one that would stand by me. Well, that's not exactly true. I'm fairly sure the other officers would have my back and stand loyal by me. But still, the fact that I had thought of leaving them, of dying, I was no longer an honorable man.

"I did something terrible, something absolutely terrible." I told her, lowering my head in shame. I was only aware that the Inquiry had ended when she pulled me to my feet and hauled me after her. I heard Moody following us, his steps glomping behind us.

"Wait, Annastasia, where are you going?" He called, desperately trying to catch up to us.

"Home." She said flatly.

"Then slow down! I'm coming with you." He requested, finally catching up to us as a uniformed doorman opened the door. He bowed to Annastasia as she walked by. I stepped into the carriage, hiding my sadness from Moody in the dark. Annastasia finally joined me; she held me all the way back to the house and promptly took me upstairs. I collapsed down onto a plush velvet couch as she sat at my feet.

"Will, what happened?" Her voice was thick with concern as she dabbed at my cheeks.

"Wh-when I was loading the boats, Hockley came. He gave me money, demanding a place be saved for him in a boat." I threw my hat away, unable to look at the symbol of White Star on it. Only a gentleman deserved to wear something like that, not a vagabond like me. A gentle motion set it back into my hands though, Annastasia looking up at me. Her face was warped by the lines of care and concern on it, but through it came only love. "I wouldn't take it though; I gave it to a third class woman. But, before I got onto the boat, I thought - I actually can't believe the thought occurred to me - I thought of dying. Of letting myself drown or freeze to death." I smiled at her gasp, but quickly got down to her level.

"Will . . ." She started to cry before I gathered her up into my arms.

"Shh, let's just forget that night. We're together, and nothing can separate us." I whispered, kissing away her tears. She laughed slightly before wrapping her arms around me. After we had become presentable once more we stood and walked down to the kitchen. Moody was sitting and joking with Peggy when he saw us. He greeted us warmly and poured us some soup. We talked happily as we ate, Annastasia leaning into me. As I wrapped my arm around her I sent up a small prayer for Wilde, thanking him for what his coming had given me.


	19. Annastasia 13

The morning dawned slowly, small flecks of sunlight dancing around my room as they made their way through the drapes. I stretched happily in Will's arms, lounging the morning away. There was a rustle of fabric as Will drew the sheets up higher onto himself. He yawned before turning over to kiss my cheek.

Good morning, darling. He whispered. I kissed the top of his nose, smiling down at him. The door banged open and Peggy stood there with a tray of food. A bowl of yogurt rested next to a small plate of strawberries. I flipped back onto my back, startled by her entrance.

"Miss, none of that before the wedding now." Peggy chided, setting the tray down on my vanity. A crisply folded newspaper sat on the tray, something I hadn't noticed. Peggy held up a dressing gown, motioning for me to come forward. I slipped into it, moving through the door to my private sitting room. Peggy and Will followed, Peggy holding the tray. She set it down as I settled into a chaise and Will into a chair. A low table was in between us, Peggy left eh tray and cast a meaningful glance at the paper.

"You may want to take a look at the society pages, miss." She muttered, closing the door silently. Will helped himself to a small dish of yogurt and mixed some strawberries into it. I went for the paper, opening it to the society pages. As with the rest of the paper, it was topped by news of the tragedy but just under the headline, only in smaller type, was the headline.

**DALIAN HEIRESS ENGAGED! JUST WHO IS THE MYSTERY MAN?**

**As was revealed in the _Titanic_ Inquiry yesterday, everyone's favorite little heiress is engaged. We all know about the adventures of Annastasia Dalian, countless balls and dances, plenty of handsome men at those parties, yet not a single suitor. And then, out of the blue, or should we sat from the blue, comes a handsome sailor. He's been seen escorting her around town, dining with her, and then at the Inquiry yesterday he reveals that not only is he her suitor, he is her fiancé! Rest assured my dear reader, I will keep you updated on all that is going on in the high society of our fair city.**

I set the paper down shakily, reaching for some yogurt. Will slid a small bowl to me, then reached for the paper. I mixed some strawberries into it and prayed the sweetness would calm me down.

"Looks like I'll have to watch my back today." Will chuckled, laying the paper back onto the table.

"Yes, especially since I'm taking you and Moody out for new clothing." I slyly inserted the plan I had been thinking of since yesterday when I had seen him wearing his uniform.

"You are not buying us clothes!" Will burst out, laying his spoon down.

"Yes I am!" I retorted, "You've been wearing your uniform since you got here! I am not watching you walk around in only one set of clothes."

"You are not going to be swayed on this, are you?" He asked. I shook my head fiercely, my face set. Will gave a massive sigh before standing to embrace me. AS he held me close he whispered into my ear.

"Nothing to fancy, alright?"

"I'm not sure, I think you'd look pretty good in a tux." I laughed, skipping back into my room to dress. Peggy was waiting, undergarments spread on the bed. She helped me into them and reached into the closet for a dress. "Nothing black," I called "But dark colors." Peggy emerged carrying a deep burgundy dress, a look of skepticism on her face.

"Miss . . ." She began before I cut her off.

"My father was a happy man, right?" She nodded. "He wouldn't want me wearing black for a whole year, subdued colors maybe, but black the whole time is just insane." I finished, her face calm and slightly moist as she remembered my father. Once I had been secured into my dress, I swept my hat from the vanity and descended the stairs. Will was already waiting, dressed in his uniform, _still_. I grabbed his arm, hooked my other one through Moody's and we climbed into the carriage. Just as we stepped up I spotted a young man carrying a pad of paper approaching the house. Before he could spot us though Jonathan cracked the reins and the horses pranced through town until we reached Fifth Avenue. Large department stores, huge windows showcasing expensive dresses and suits, loomed over the streets filled with laughing people and shiny coaches.

"Annastasia, I said nothing _too _fancy!" Will hissed as Jonathan opened the door. He handed me down before casting a dubious look at the imposing building. Moody was excited though as we entered, greeted by two doormen and a harried servant rushing through the doors with several packages. A salesman separated himself from a small crowd, smiling when he saw me.

"Anna, my dear. It's been far too long!" He cried, leaning down to kiss my cheek. I returned it in kind. Will glowered at him before possessively putting a hand on mine. I giggled at him before leaning up to whisper in his ear.

"Will, I've known him since I was four. He's a family friend." I chuckled before kissing the side of his cheek. Understanding flashed through his eyes and he released his powerful grip on me.

"Anna darling, what else? I assume that you brought these two men here for a reason?" Andre asked, glancing at Will and Moody.

"Oh, yes. So sorry Andre, the clothing these two have on is all that they have! I insist that they have a change of clothes for each day of the week, shoes for each day, coats, formal wear, hats, set us up with the best that you have!" I told him, smiling at the glee that entered his eyes.

"Wonderful! We'll need to get measurements, then find suits and tuxedos and shoes! Oh, let's get their shoes first, I'll send a few maids to pick out pairs while we measure them!" He almost shrieked, leading us through the large crowd of clients. He made Will and Moody sit down before pulling out a ruler and making a few notes on a sheet of paper.

"Adalie! Yua!" He called, bringing two young women over. "I need you to find me seven pairs of regular shoes, two pairs of formal ones, and three boots in these measurements. Then get that same amount in these." Andre ordered, handing them the slips. The maids bowed before retreating from us. As Andre directed us to a three way set of mirrors Will kept us a steady pace beside me.

"He's very enthusiastic, isn't he?" Will chuckled.

"Of course, he's worked he for his whole life." I responded, broken off when Andre first directed Moody up onto a pedestal and measured his chest, his inseam, arms length and other measurements. Moody seemed visible shaken as he stepped down and Will climbed up. After a few more minutes Will was also bidden to step down.

"Oh, and Anna my dear, I got your order in. You're lucky that you didn't get it sooner or you might not have it now! Would you like to try it on?" Andre asked, tucking his measuring tape back into his jacket.

"Of course! I would love to!" I exclaimed, starting to bounce like a puppy. Andre took my arm to escort me but stopped Will and Moody short.

"You two wait here, I'll bring her back." He ordered, parading away with me. He quickly installed me in a large private room before returning with a large box. I gently opened the lid to gaze on what was inside. The golden fabric rested on a bed of tissue paper, the gloves on top of it only a shade darker. A maid appeared, sending Andre out of the room as she helped me change. When I was finally clad in the golden dress I pulled the gloves up to my elbows. The maid brought a pair of golden shoes for me to wear and I slipped them on. The dress wrapped around me and was held up by two dark golden sleeves that circled my arms under my shoulders. I stepped out, smiling gladly as Andre immediately stepped up and jerked it into place. He slid several golden bracelets over my hand, Will's ring still in place, and gently pulled my hair up to secure it with two golden pins.

"You don't think it seems too opulent do you?" I asked, touching my hair self-consciously.

"Not at all dear, it matching your hair and the gloves highlight your eyes." He responded, smiling kindly. We slowly made out way back through the store, Andre stopping to pluck two small ear rings from a display and insert them. A delicate web of golden wire and creamy pearls hung low on my neck, tickling my skin. When we came back to where Moody and Will were waiting Moody jumped up. Will was nowhere to be seen, not in the rows of suits, nor the displays.

"Lord Annie, you look great!" Moody complimented. I smiled, raising my hand to my lips before Andre slapped a golden lace fan into my hands. I nodded my thanks and began to fan myself. My fanning slowed as an incredibly handsome man stepped from the changing rooms behind Moody. His closely cropped, yet lockish, brown hair looked like it had been ruffled and the bright blue of his eyes stood in stark contrast to the dark blue of his coat. Golden thread provided a perfect accent as it formed beautiful shapes down the sleeves and edges or his coat. Tail hung off it, large golden buttons clinking happily when he walked. He wore a fine white silk shirt with a fountain of lace at his throat. Upon seeing me he lowered into a bow, his cheeky smile finally reminding me who he was.

"Will!" I cried, jerking him back up to his feet. His freshly blacked boots were a stark contrast to the golden fabric surrounding my feet. I hadn't recognized him without his usual hat and long coat. "You look so handsome! Ah! Where'd did you find this?"

"Andre had it pulled from the shelves, saying something about a large gala being held later this week. He seemed to be implying that you were invited." Will chuckled, combing an errant strand of hair out of my face.

"I take it you approve, Miss?" Andre broke in, thrusting his head between Will's and mine.

"Oh, yes. I do, very much. Box both of these and what you've managed to find for them." I told Andre, slipping the jewelry off and depositing them in his hands. I flounced back to the room I had been given and, with the maid's help, quickly changed from the magnificent ball gown to my own dress. The maid expertly folded it into the box before heading out before me. She set the box down by a large pile of boxes, bags, and wrapped parcels.

"Andre I simply must thank you." I told him, "I'll put in a good word for you at the party and see if I can't get any commissions." Andre embraced me at this because, as few know, he designs dresses as a hobby. He designed the golden dress I was taking home. After we had loaded the carriage full of our purchases there was hardly room for Will and I. Moody solved the problem by jumping up with Jonathan in the driver's seat. The drive home went quickly and Peggy came out immediately, clucking over the amount we had bought and ushering us inside. The silver tray that rested on a high table held a large calligraphy strewn card.

_Dearest Annastasia,_

_I certainly hope that you will join my family at Astor Courts, on the night of April 25, 1912.  
We are hosting a large gala to help raise money for the relief of _Titanic _survivors._

_Our sincerest regards, the Astors_

I smiled at the card. Will was struggling by with several packages. Peggy had become fed up with him in my room and had assigned him a large guest chamber in which to store his clothing and sleep. I joined him and pulled a few parcels from his tower. As we made our way up I couldn't help smiling at him.

"What?" He finally asked.

"I'm going to have to teach you how to waltz, aren't I?"

"Yes, I suppose you are." He laughed, dropping the packages and taking me into his arms. Just as he was about to lower a kiss onto me an ashen face Peggy stepped up the stairs.

"Miss," She said, "Your mother is here."


	20. Annastasia 14

The news took a moment to absorb, but then it hit you like a blow to the stomach. Will reached for me while Peggy anxiously wrung her hands while waiting for me to speak. I felt myself growing faint, grabbing faintly for Will to keep myself upright. Will only too kindly obliged, bringing me to his chest.

"Peggy, t-tell her I will be down in a moment. Will, there's a small bag of smelling salts in the room behind you. Will you bring them?" I asked, vaguely aware as Will set me down on a chaise. The salts were thrust under my nose and my head set upon a warm pillow. Will's fingers ran through my hair as the lavendar scented air brought me back. Once I had recovered fully did I realize the soft warm pillow was Will's lap.

"Slowly, now darling. Slowly." Will cautioned as he slowly moved me into a sitting posistion. After a few moments of sitting, and my head thankfully not spinning, I stood and prepared to go meet Mother. Will rose with me, his hand holding mine.

"Will, I don't want you to come down. She'll just insult you." I warned, already stepping towards the stairs. Will matched my step as he began to descend the stairs with me.

"Annastasia, I've just survived a shipwreck. I think I can handle your mother." He chided. I smiled, filled with his easy confidence, and stepped off of the marble stairs. By the time we had reached the formal sitting room that Moody and Will had entered two days ago she had already finished adjusting the black chiffon roses on her hat and picking at one of the candlesticks, evidenced by her fingerprints on it.

"Hello Mother." I said coolly, readying myself for the veiled insults and comments that always accompanied her visits.

"Annastasia, you and your young man look much better than the last time I saw you both." Her voice was calm as she spoke but the truth of what she was saying was obvious. The last time she had seen us was the sinking. Both of us pale, covered in clothes, and clinging to each other.

"You look better as well." I returned, glad for Will's closeness as we sat down across from her.

"I should have known you would take this house, so close to the docks. You truly should consider coming farther into the city." The languid tone she posessed betrayed her intent. Moving me farther into the city would place me farther into the social scene, which I had never enjoyed, but it would also convey that I had little thought for my father's company.

"No, I prefer it this way. The view from the windows is spectacular. Besides, I am more than comfortable here." I smiled, a feral grin.

"And you young man, you have taken up residence with my daughter?" She purred.

"Yes, she has been most accomadating." Will responded after a moment of hesitation. "She has just taken us out to purchase clothing."

"Another charity case, daughter?" She blinked for a few moments as I absorbed what she had said. Implying that Will had no money! Implying that he was poor!

"No Mother, I love him." I growled, my fingers forming into claws.

"Perhaps you whould leave now Mrs. Dalian." Will commmented, trying to soothe me by patting my arm.

"Perhaps, oh and Annastasia? If you are heading to the Astors, be warned that the Reichsters will be there." She sniffed before she waltzed out to the large car waiting on the curb. It had none of the gracefullness of the coach, but squatted low on the street. Once the door had been firmly closed did Moody jump down the stairs, a large smile on his face.

"Bit of a hag, ain't she?" He laughed, breaking the tension that Mother had brought. I laughed as well, glad for his positivity. The day, though tainted by Mother's presence turned out to be a rather nice one. I spent some time lazing in the library, a large volume by my side as I leafed through a smaller one. That was where Peggy found me a few hours after Mother's visit.

"Miss, Captain Abraham sent a sailor to inform you that the _North Wind _has docked." She said. I jumped up, my heart singing at the news.

"Where Peggy? Where is he?" I pestered. Peggy named the docks and the dock number and I was quickly racing down the stairs. I pulled Will and Moody from a card game they had been playing. Jonathan already had the carriage waiting and once Moody and Will had entered we set off.

"Annastasia, what's gotten into you?" Will asked, rubbing his head thoughtfully.

"Abraham! He's come! he's my father's oldest friend, a granparent to me!" I crowed, glad for the quick time it took to traverse to the docks from our house. the carriage was reined in at the dock enterance and I set off down the line, counting the large iron numbers that had been nailed to the piers where the ships berthed. The smell of coal smoke, the cry of sailors and the scratching of inventory pens set off an industrious fire within me and when I caught sight of the birght blue dolphin standing out against the pure white backround I turned suddenly down to that ship. The sailors who saw us moved out of the way as my reitnue and I bounded up the gangway. The mere sight of a dark blue coat set me all a quiver.

"Abraham!" I cried. He turned around, the scraggly gray beard breaking as he smiled happily.

"Annastasia! Where's Gregory?" He asked, embracing me.

"He-we-I, he didn't make it off of the _Titanic_." I stammered, feeling a bit of grief overtake me.

"Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry." Abraham murrmered, dropping his gaze. "We have a full cargo though, that ought to pay for a nice funeral."

"I suppose so." I agreed, looking to Will. He grasped my hand, smiling slightly.

"I'm sure it will be lovely, as it is though we must be going." Will, ever the tactful, replied in a smooth voice. Abraham nodded, motioning for us to go. Will sterred me off the ship, moving through the crowds with a praticed ease. We returned to the house, Peggy having already prepared a small luncheon for us, which included very nice roast beef. Afterwards I took Will aside to the small ballroom that the house posessed.

"Waltzing is very easy, just hold me like this." I told him, anchoring his hands on my waist. I clasped mine on his shoulders, giving me a perfect view of his face. "And all you do, is move in a circle, slowly moving from side to side." He began to do as I told him, pulling me closer and closer the more we turned. Finally, he stopped with my head on his chest.

"This is highly improper." I told him, rather reluctant to give up my nice warm spot on his chest.

"It's damn proper to me." He chuckled, drawing me closer. I gave in, wrapping myself around him in the silent ballroom.

* * *

**Hehehe . . . Sorry for such a long wait. Major writer's block, high school, life in general got in the way. Leave your opinions in the reviews though, I'd love to know what you think!**


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